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Is this unethical?

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 
Would it be unethical of me to say ds is allergic to red dye #40 at his preK, just so they wont give it to him, even though he isnt allergic to it?

They have nasty snacks-NO nutritional guidelines, the parents bring them. Huge birtday cakes with all kinds of colorings, cheetos!!!! for preschoolers!

Jenny
post #2 of 51
What do you mean by ethical? If you mean in the sense that is it lying? I dunno, but people lie every day. I would definately lie about something like that if I had to
post #3 of 51
You could say that the you are concerned that the dye affects his behavior negatively. That would not be a lie.
post #4 of 51
Thread Starter 
I dunno...I am really really really bad at lying so I am wondering if its ok to do. IMO ALL 4 year olds are allergic to red dye.
post #5 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinky Tuscadero View Post
You could say that the you are concerned that the dye affects his behavior negatively. That would not be a lie.
I have a feeling MOST normal people in society think of a food allergy as "You cant breate and need an epi pen" thing. kwim? (And I am sure he has had red dye since he has been there.)
post #6 of 51
if the red 40 impacts his behaviour or otherwise I'd definitely say whatever necessary.

saying you don't want him to have it should be enough IMO but if they only listen to parents concerns if they are talking allergies then I'd go that route.

that sucks that they allow parents to bring junk for snack, I'd bring that up and see why it can't change to fruit, veggies, cheese, etc.
post #7 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

that sucks that they allow parents to bring junk for snack, I'd bring that up and see why it can't change to fruit, veggies, cheese, etc.
I know. I may do that. I warned them I was a troublemaker from the beginning.
post #8 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
I have a feeling MOST normal people in society think of a food allergy as "You cant breate and need an epi pen" thing. kwim? (And I am sure he has had red dye since he has been there.)
Exactly my point. You don't say he's allergic. You say it affects his behavior. That's probably not a lie. There are studies that show that food dyes affect children's behavior. Then you would not have an ethical issue on your hands!
post #9 of 51
Thread Starter 
yeah...I guess with 15-20 PreK'ers they are probably going to have a birthday once a week, right? Ugh. And no one makes cakes anymore-they get the Dora ones from the grocery store now. ick. They arent even tasty.
post #10 of 51
if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
post #11 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
:
post #12 of 51
If he isn't actually allergic to it, its lying. Lying, to me at least, is unethical.
post #13 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
How do you do that without killing his little junkfood loving spirit? I am working on getting healthier but he freaks when he sees junk food. Its like a passion of my 4 yr old.

Whats yummy?

He also loves alot of fruit equally though...Although I am not certain he would choose fruit over cheetos. ???
post #14 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
How do you do that without killing his little junkfood loving spirit? I am working on getting healthier but he freaks when he sees junk food. Its like a passion of my 4 yr old.

Whats yummy?

He also loves alot of fruit equally though...Although I am not certain he would choose fruit over cheetos. ???
honestly? I dont know.
I dont have this issue with my 4yo; we have choosen to follow a path of self-determination with diet.
I definately explain to DD why I dont eat certain things, and what effects foods have on our bodies (the good and the bad), but she is free to eat what she wants when she wants. (I do draw the line at not buying anything from Nestle or fast-food chains, but I've explained that to DD and she respects it).

The result is that we have a 4yo who is free to eat only sweets and junk all day. but she doesn't. Her favourite food at the moment is celery. of course she does eat sweets, but more often than not, she has a little bit, and leaves the rest.

Just last week we were in town, she saw a packet of cheezles and asked for them. I said, sure, lets just read the label first (I have a policy of reading everything). I gave it to her to have a look; of course she can't read, but I give her the respect of making her own choice. She saw those little additive numbers and shouted for the whole supermarket to hear "Its got numbers in it! I dont want that! numbers arent for eating, they're for COUNTING!"

Later that same day, we were in the health food store, and she picked up a little bar of organic dark chocolate and asked for it. Of course, I bought it for her, and the lady at the counter was all "tsk, dont you think she's hyper enough?". Well, I ignored that, and gave DD the chocolate. She ate one square of it, gave another square to her friend, and the rest (10 squares) is still sitting on the shelf, in plain view!

So to answer your question; I'd allow that little junkfood loving spirit the freedom to love junkfood, and to learn self-determination, or junkfood is always gonna have a hold over him as the forbidden fruit.
post #15 of 51
I should add that at home, I prepare yummy wholesome meals and treats from whole, organic ingredients. "junk" is just one of MANY choices.
post #16 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
if it really does affect him, then its an intolerance, which is enough. IMO, if you tell them that he doesn't eat it, that should be enough. just make sure you provide enough alternatives for him.
I agree.
post #17 of 51
As the mother of a severely food allergic child, I urge you not to lie about your child having food allergies, particularly if his teachers have seen him eating the food in question. It is so difficult to get people to understand how serious food allergies are and there are so many misconceptions ("So if I give her this cookie she'll get a runny nose?" Um, no, if you give her that cookie she could die.). When people misuse or misrepresent food allergies, it makes it that much harder for those of us who actually have food-allergic kids to be taken seriously.

I agree with the PPs--explain that it's a behavioral issue. I'm not even totally against lying--if you say that your ped recommended he avoid it, for instance, it might carry more weight. But I would also definitely go in with suggestions for healthier snacks. There are plenty of convenient, "mainstream" foods that are better than stuff like Cheetos--Triscuits, bananas, Cheerios, raisins, string cheese, apple slices, Veggie Booty, etc.
post #18 of 51
Unfortunately the only way some people will adhere to such requests is if you say it'll affect their health. Like I have to tell certain people I'm vegetarian because meat makes me sick (which it does but my main reason is concern for the animals) because if I don't they'll try and get me to eat meat, or sneak meat into a meal and not tell me. Ugh, why can't people respect other peoples' choices?!
post #19 of 51
PLEASE DO NOT TELL THEM HE'S ALLERGIC! It undermines people like me when our kid goes there and they just think of an allergy as a little hyperactivity vs. what really happens (hives, death.)

I get that you don't want him having that (esp every week!) so just ask that he not get it! You can also bring in a safe treat for him to keep at class that you don't mind him having (maybe a fruit bar made of real fruit (can't remember the brand name)) so that when the other kids are eating crappy cake, he's eating his treat.
post #20 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
yeah...I guess with 15-20 PreK'ers they are probably going to have a birthday once a week, right? Ugh. And no one makes cakes anymore-they get the Dora ones from the grocery store now. ick. They arent even tasty.
At least at the school district my DH used to teach in, the parents were not permitted to bring homemade foods, they had to be commercial packaged stuff.:
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