Yesterday evening DH asked me how I would feel if he stopped working at his company and began WAH... which would mean a 1/3 to 1/4 salary cut, barely enough to cover our already very frugal living expenses. To put it in perspective, we would probably qualify for medicaid if this happened.
He has been with this co. for 4 years and has been in the field (it is a niche entertainment field, and no, not porn lol) all his life. Twice during our marriage he took jobs out of the field and was really unhappy; quit one to go back to the field and was fired from another (and went back to the field).
This job gave him a significant pay raise and a lot more power over projects (he is 2nd in command). He saved the company from bankruptcy, did some really amazing creative things and the company was nominated for some awards. He really loves his work.
However, over the past 1-2 years, his boss, whom he was friends with, began abusing prescription meds, and has become paranoid, irrational, and abusive. DH says he has become almost impossible to work with him and the situation has been escalating pretty badly. I actually suggested to DH a couple times over the past year that he quit. He said that would be crazy because we needed the money and he wants to do the work.
Anyway, last night, after arguing with his boss, he asked me how I would feel if he quit. I told him if he had to do it to save his sanity, he should, but that we do need the money and he would never make as much elsewhere (true). He was also due for a raise at the end of the year.
I'm not sure what to do. I know that (for whatever strange reason!) he is really listening to me on this one. When I expressed grave concern over what could happen to us financially, and the limitations he would have over his plan to WAH, I could see he was taking me seriously and was reconsidering. But, I don't want him to remain in an abusive situation because I asked him to.
We live frugally but I had gotten used to the extra income. I'm kicking myself now for not being even more frugal. We also have private school bills now which was something I let myself do thinking we had a cushion. The girls love their school and PS isn't an option, and they were really, really miserable being homeschooled.
Basically I told him to try sticking it out through the pay raise, and that we should save as much of it as possible, and once we have more savings, he should then look for another job, or try to get an at-home business going, before he quits. In other words we should be more prepared.
Has anyone else or their DP been worked with an abusive boss in a job they otherwise loved?
Another issue is that I know DH will be miserable not working in this field. It is a small field and good paying jobs are hard to come by in it.
He has been with this co. for 4 years and has been in the field (it is a niche entertainment field, and no, not porn lol) all his life. Twice during our marriage he took jobs out of the field and was really unhappy; quit one to go back to the field and was fired from another (and went back to the field).
This job gave him a significant pay raise and a lot more power over projects (he is 2nd in command). He saved the company from bankruptcy, did some really amazing creative things and the company was nominated for some awards. He really loves his work.
However, over the past 1-2 years, his boss, whom he was friends with, began abusing prescription meds, and has become paranoid, irrational, and abusive. DH says he has become almost impossible to work with him and the situation has been escalating pretty badly. I actually suggested to DH a couple times over the past year that he quit. He said that would be crazy because we needed the money and he wants to do the work.
Anyway, last night, after arguing with his boss, he asked me how I would feel if he quit. I told him if he had to do it to save his sanity, he should, but that we do need the money and he would never make as much elsewhere (true). He was also due for a raise at the end of the year.
I'm not sure what to do. I know that (for whatever strange reason!) he is really listening to me on this one. When I expressed grave concern over what could happen to us financially, and the limitations he would have over his plan to WAH, I could see he was taking me seriously and was reconsidering. But, I don't want him to remain in an abusive situation because I asked him to.
We live frugally but I had gotten used to the extra income. I'm kicking myself now for not being even more frugal. We also have private school bills now which was something I let myself do thinking we had a cushion. The girls love their school and PS isn't an option, and they were really, really miserable being homeschooled.
Basically I told him to try sticking it out through the pay raise, and that we should save as much of it as possible, and once we have more savings, he should then look for another job, or try to get an at-home business going, before he quits. In other words we should be more prepared.
Has anyone else or their DP been worked with an abusive boss in a job they otherwise loved?
Another issue is that I know DH will be miserable not working in this field. It is a small field and good paying jobs are hard to come by in it.
