It's a...... - Page 2

[HeatherB]

Originally Posted by levismom

also the name thing....dh insisted we commit to a boy's name because he didn't want to announce a son without a name. i, thinking we were having a girl no doubt, had no problem committing to, heck, herbert if that's what he had wanted! So when we HAD a boy, i felt like i hadn't put forth the thought and exploration i had for our girl's name, and struggled with the simplicity of it, especially with our last name of klein (the double k's, both monosyllabic!). But fortunately, he's named after my father in law and my dh, the second and first greatest men that i know, so i know the legacy behind the names i will never regret despite maybe the aesthetics of it.

this is the only safe place to vent though besides dh because i truly don't want jack to grow up thinking i wished he was a girl! i'm glad i don't feel that way now, but it was rough before EFT set in...

I had a lot of anxiety over having picked DS2's middle name "too quickly" when he was born. I thought he'd be a girl, too, but did have a very firm first name. We finalized his name within a couple of hours of the birth (MWs were still there, etc), and it just seemed too rushed for me. I had the same girl's name picked out this time, but we had NO boy's name, even though we'd worked at finding one throughout the pregnancy! I had decided in the week or so prior to the birth that IF we had a boy, I'd tell everyone to give me 3 days to pick a name - and to leave me alone until then. I think we came up with the first name on the first night, it was pretty set by the 2nd day, announced on the 3rd day, and that night we finalized the middle name, as well. I still sometimes wonder if it's "right," because I hadn't weighed and reweighed the name for so many months. But, I'm pretty sure it is just right for him, and I like how we went about coming up with it in the time that we did have.

I know what you mean about not wanting the baby to grow up thinking he's not what you wanted. I worried about that with Iain, too. In fact, at some point I put a halt to any stories about the fact that I was surprised he was a boy, as he was getting old enough to understand, and I did NOT want him thinking I wished he was a girl. During this pregnancy, though, I actually was able to use the experience to help him understand about our new baby. He wanted a girl, and said we'd all be sad if we had a boy. I would laugh and say, "Do you know I thought YOU were going to be a girl? Are you a girl?" And we'd laugh, "No, you're a boy! Just like you're supposed to be! And if this baby is a boy, we'll be happy because that's just what he's supposed to be, too." So it's all focused on how silly it was of ME to think he'd be a girl, not on the concept that HE wasn't what was expected.

I was able to talk with DH a bit this evening, and that was good. We don't know if we'll have more children, but he's not entirely opposed to it now, which is wonderful. Makes me think maybe we will. But I've said I won't commit for a couple more years, one way or another. I did tell DH that I want to have him tested to see if there ARE any little girls in there!

It is so totally wonderful to be able to just fall in love with your baby, no matter what you expected and what you got, isn't it? I remember realizing during this pregnancy that everyone has to go through the whole process of learning who the new baby is, whether you knew the gender or not. I had to learn my first baby, too, and I knew he was a boy. But he didn't look like I expected (isn't dark hair dominant?! ), and was new - never met him before! So there's adjustment for everyone. Harder, yes, when you expect one thing and get another. I have to think it's rather like any baby born with a birth defect, too. In that case, you expect a healthy baby with all of its parts, and you get one that's different. Still wonderful, still special, just not what you expected. But you fall in love with that wonderful baby of yours no matter what!

Off to snuggle with my sweet little guy...