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November Low Income Mummas Support Thread - Page 62

post #1221 of 1296
new mamas!!!!! It's nice to meet all of you! Just too bad it can't be under better circumstances...
post #1222 of 1296
Hi Nature ! I remember you.
We've been fortunate not to have any recalled toys. DS has 2 Little People toys--a train and a gumball machine that were gifts--and he loves them. They're plastic as plastic can be, but I'm not taking them away either. They distract him long enough for me to throw on some warm clothes!
post #1223 of 1296
My Raves:

My two beautiful, amazing, intelligent, sweet, caring daughters.
My mom - even though she makes me crazy, she's very loving and generous.
Coffee
WIC
Denali Kid Care (need to submit the renewal on Monday)
my friendly neighbors
post #1224 of 1296
Quote:
Originally Posted by amydidit View Post
Rant: Almost out of laundry detergent
Rant: No extra money to get any
When that happens to me, I use baking soda and vinegar to wash my laundry.
post #1225 of 1296
Hi everyone...

Still in packing hell. One week!!!!!!!! Seems like every time I get fed up with packing I walk into my bathroom and need to kill another roach, so I get motivated all over again. GROSS...but true.

To the mom that needs stocking stuffers...What were you looking for? I have a ton of little toys/brand new girly beauty stuff etc that I would be willing to send you. Let me know, please.

I'm going to ask one more time here too...Does ANYONE need some size 26 or 28 women's plus jeans???? I have a ton. They are way too big on me and I would LOVE to send them to a mama that could use them.

My gratefuls for today...

My sons.
My "boyfriend." He's slowly realizing that my pride is getting in the way of me asking him for help and he's just taking it upon himself to do it.
Yummy chicken, rice, and broccoli for dinner tonight.
1 week till we live in a better place.
I work all weekend and should make decent tips.
Warm clothes and lots of blankies.
post #1226 of 1296
Quote:
Originally Posted by DuchsLove View Post
I'm going to ask one more time here too...Does ANYONE need some size 26 or 28 women's plus jeans???? I have a ton. They are way too big on me and I would LOVE to send them to a mama that could use them.

My gratefuls for today...

My sons.
My "boyfriend." He's slowly realizing that my pride is getting in the way of me asking him for help and he's just taking it upon himself to do it.
Yummy chicken, rice, and broccoli for dinner tonight.
1 week till we live in a better place.
I work all weekend and should make decent tips.
Warm clothes and lots of blankies.
I wear that size for jeans. Depending on how much shipping is I would love to have them

It's always such a relief to move into a better place
post #1227 of 1296
Amy...

26 or 28??? And don't worry about shipping...

Just PM me some info and I'll get them out at my P.O. trip on Monday.
post #1228 of 1296
Hi to All.. There is no way I have time or energy to read the 60+ previous pages of this thread but I definately belong here. I am wife to my sweet but differently abled dh.. he is on SSI (due to ruematoid and osteoarthritis he has had for 35+ years) and he also works at home with 2 home businesses selling music on ebay and wholesale, etc. Keeps him busy (and although we always have tons of bills and the pile is always growing..I am thankful we have the opportunity to TRY to at least do this venture the past 6 years in an attempt to make things easier..not that it happened that way..but there is always hope).

We have 4 children and one expected arrival in the next 6 weeks or so.
post #1229 of 1296
Thankfuls:
friends came today
found a good (FREE!) book to read
money is supposed to come tomorrow
no phone/net bill yet
saved on electric bill
1/2 tank of oil for heat and hot water
post #1230 of 1296
Quote:
Seems like every time I get fed up with packing I walk into my bathroom and need to kill another roach, so I get motivated all over again. GROSS...but true.
Congrats on the move -- ugh I know how you feel. Our roach "issue" is only in the kitchen and I only ever see a couple if the lights have been off for hours (like overnight) but it is still freaking disgusting and makes me feel like such trash.

Hubby tried to play exterminator, he took off all the switch plates in the kitchen, turned off the breakers and sprayed some toxic stuff into the walls (made for that kind of thing). I am sure it helped, but when you haven't had pest control since the Reagan administration and it i our responsibility (in our lease).

I am so just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH today. I got into an arguement with my mom, who.....eh how do I even explain her. She is a good lady in a lot of ways but very old school, coupled with a bit of a gambling um.... overindulgance to put it nicely . So anyway, she knows our situation but "it is not my responsibility to support my adult children because they" ... you guys have to wait for it seriously... wait for it... "don't want to work"

WHAT? I mean.... what...huh??? What??? That is just not even...okay I will just say NOT TRUE AT ALL. My husband had about 3 weeks between phasing out the last of his students and starting at this new county job -- not to mention still teaching on weekends AND now going to begin teaching at another facility AFTER his day job. Oh and ETA: his gigs too which bring in money!!! Sure. Oh and SAHMs don't work we all know that -- what with between my etsy shop and my writing on associated content and the other odds and ends I do to try to bring in money -- oh in addition to selling everything that isn't nailed down... oh yeah.... throw on top of that swallowing any last shred of dignity and pride and accepting help from people who NEED THE MONEY THEMSELVES (like my very best friend who helped us financially and she has three kids of her own and isn't rich). Yeah, we don't work lovely.

I don't want people all flaming my momz but for real, she is just so clueless and like, there is no other word for it but "old school". I mean, she is not a *mean* woman, it is more like the old idea (that still is so pervasive) that if you are poor, it is your fault completely, and you deserve it because you are not doing something right or working hard enough or whatever and if someone else helps you out then that means you have no motivation to get yourself out of it kind of thinking.

....but I don't care, if it were my daughter I would not see her go without if I had it to give. I just wouldn't. Sure I wouldn't be homeless and naked to feed my daughter's crack habit or something -- but barring extremes like that, I would help her.

I guess the bottom of this whole issue that makes it hurtful is the fact that my mom probably never saw me as I see my daughter. We certainly parent a lot differently.

Wow, where did THAT come from.

I guess I am just feeing the stress big, big time. Seriously, other than our rent (and I am so thankful for it) we have ZERO money -- okay sorry, about $50 to last us (with food, gas, everything not even bringing into consideration bills like electric) until dh gets paid on Christmas Eve (the county job holds one week and it is a two week pay period). Scratch that, we will have $80 on sat because another student is paying for the upcoming month so I do thank God, I really do -- but man... $80 when you owe freaking hundreds YESTERDAY doesn't seem like anything

Thanks for letting me vent. I am thankful for our dinner of pancakes and eggs (dd gets a kick out of breakfast for dinner), and for our home and for our health and eachother.
post #1231 of 1296
Hey mamas. Never saw this thread before and it couldnt be more suited to us! Just wanted to say hi, cant wait for next months thread when I will be in on it from the get go.
Sad to say, but glad to hear that others are like us. All my friends are dr's wives or the like and it just makes me feel like a big peice o crap ya know. It gets frustrating this time of year with dh and dd having birthday added to the holidays. We are simple with small desires but when I have to budget a freakin skein of acrylic yarn for a gift it kinda irks me ya know! Thank goodness we have always lived simple and light and my kids arent ones to expect extravagance, then I dont feel like I let them down as bad. Anyway didnt mean to rant jsut to say hi.
post #1232 of 1296
Welcome caitlinsmom

Sorry you have to be here (I mean that in a nice way I promise lol)

but glad you are reaching out for support. Wonderful group of women here.
post #1233 of 1296
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain crunchy View Post


I don't want people all flaming my momz but for real, she is just so clueless and like, there is no other word for it but "old school". I mean, she is not a *mean* woman, it is more like the old idea (that still is so pervasive) that if you are poor, it is your fault completely, and you deserve it because you are not doing something right or working hard enough or whatever and if someone else helps you out then that means you have no motivation to get yourself out of it kind of thinking.

....but I don't care, if it were my daughter I would not see her go without if I had it to give. I just wouldn't. Sure I wouldn't be homeless and naked to feed my daughter's crack habit or something -- but barring extremes like that, I would help her.

No flames. I have a FIL who is similiar except that he does help out (heck he is covering our entire mortgage at the minute and has for the past several months). In the past 5 years since we moved to Maine he has probably floated us close to a 100K and that is no exaggeration. The catch is he is old fashioned and feels you should just take a job and work at it.. problem is that the type of work he did that allowed him to get financially comfortable is not our current day world. Needless to say despite his help, there is a major discomfort between us (he can not understand why I have a M.Ed but am chronically underemployed.. duh cuz the new world of work sucks) so while I am grateful that we still at least on the outside look pretty solid, I am personally conflicted over his help, its like there is a constant elephant in the room.

Its actually why when the fridge broke I was willing to rent one rather than add more thing to the financial list of debt to FIL.

I think a lot of older folks frankly don't get it, those of us in our 30's have a pretty good chance of having a worse financial life than our folks did. Hell, many of us are sattled with crazy student loan debt, companies have no loyalty so gone are the days of do your 30 years and get a pension and a gold watch. I was canned from my job not because I did anything wrong, I simply cost money the boss decided to save... when I was being let go I was actually told I was a great worker :, well if I am so great how come I am being let go.

No, a lot of them don't get it.

Shay
post #1234 of 1296
Ugh, so we have been living okay, really. I keep up with this thread for the motivation factor and because I feel like I have a ton of stuff I don't "need" and am always looking for people who need it. But now....

We took a huge, huge, huge pay cut when we came back to the States. I've always managed all the money so my dh is kinda clueless when it comes to budget and bills and all that. So, I've always paid all of our bills through our bank's automatic pay program thing. I thought it had always worked! Well, even though we've been here since May, our mail just caught up with us yesterday....

Turns out we used our ccs a little too much when we got here to finance the lifestyle we were used to before we took such as a drastic paycut. Whenever my dh wanted to do something I told him we could afford it, of course, and then slipped a few credit cards in my wallet to afford what he wanted to do. Don't worry, I didn't suffer at all (hee, hee) doing all of these semi-extravagant things like taking out son to Sea World, the Zoo, the shark tunnel in Vegas, etc.

So I mentioned the mail caught up with us, right? Well, turns out I've been paying hundreds (ugh, hundreds) less per month on our ccs than I should have been based on their new balances. My dh came home yesterday with a letter that a creditor had sent to his boss trying to make him pay. How embarrassing for him. Here he thought we were doing fine and then he gets called out for being a s**tbag who doesn't pay his bills at work. Lucky for me he's very understanding and wasn't upset with me at all. He's such a good guy that all he said was that he wished he made more money so these things wouldn't be an issue. Yeah, I'm in love!

So now we have to "cancel" Christmas. I'm having a yardsale and like someone else mentioned, plan to sell everything that isn't nailed down!

I can't believe I let this happen to us!

For that rant (thanks for listening, btw) I'll add things I'm grateful for in the spirit of this thread:
1. That we don't "technically" have bills like rent, water, gas, or electricity (they're autmatically deducted from my dh's paycheck so there's no way to not pay them or to have anything shut off)
2. That we spoiled my ds to such a degree while overseas that he's actually asked me to get rid of some of his toys (pretty sweet for a 3 year old, huh?) so he's not upset at all that a ton of stuff is being sold.
3. That we had already bought four construction trucks for ds for christmas so at least he will have presents to open.
4. That I can vent about this to someone else before dh gets home from work!
5. That we do have extra stuff and free medical care and cheap dental care so I don't have to do without anything necessary for my family (especially ds and dd2be).

Thanks! I think I feel better already.
post #1235 of 1296
((hugs)) thats my dads answer to everything "Well, Renae, you gotta get a job!" yes, because thats completely feesable.

Lets see, I'll get a job, and say I can sweet talk one of my friends into babysitting, I'll still have to pay her. Probably? What? $75 a week? Then, since I have no education I'll be working at Wal-Mart or Hy-Vee so obviously I cannot pump for Aldria so I'll have the formula expense of what? $40-50 a week since we'll loose our WIC. Okay, so thats $115-125 a week just to allow me to work for...lets see minimum wage in Iowa is $6.20, I won't get full time, I'll *maybe* get 29 hour, right? That'll allow me to net right around $140 or a take home pay of $18-30...yeah thats *almost* worth it.

Okay, things I'm thankful for:

1) Josh has a really good Christmas bonus coming so we'll have enough to give our kids a Christmas and still have a bit of a cushion to put in savings

2) Our apt is electric heat and budget billed at $50

3) Our car payment is to my grandma so we don't have a due date, we just pay it every month, when we can

4) My LL is actually a nice guy and doesn't really flip out on us for paying late or in installments
post #1236 of 1296
Quote:
Originally Posted by shayinme View Post
The catch is he is old fashioned and feels you should just take a job and work at it.. problem is that the type of work he did that allowed him to get financially comfortable is not our current day world.
Mom & I were discussing this a couple weeks ago. She is really happy that she can help my bro & I out some because it's all just TOO much!

She was saying that it really scares her how the world is now. She & Dad started out back in the early 70's with $5000 with which they put up the house DH & I currently live in. She put herself through nursing school waitressing, and yes that means tuition, books, $$ going out with her friends, room/board, gas for her car, etc. Everything is just so crazy now. Schooling is scary expensive. There is no stability in most jobs. Insurance is insane. And the list just goes on and on and on....

She honestly feels bad for us because we're so screwed in so many ways that they just didn't have to deal with when they were our age. I'd love to disagree, but unfortunatly I think she's right...::
post #1237 of 1296
Welcome to all the new mamas!

First, I want to let everyone know that I started a new Yahoo! group. It's called "Low Income Families Together" or L.I.F.T. Probably don't need to explain why I liked that abbreviation so much or found it so appropriate for a group like our's! The link to go check it out is:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Resour...pport_Respect/

I was not thinking of it as a replacment for this thread, but as an "addition" to this thread. I'd really like to start compiling things like links to site we've found helpful, let people post stuff they have FSOT, stuff they have to donate to others, maybe things like ISO & IHA lists, some fun polls, etc. I've run co-ops before so there's a possibility of us all getting together & saving each other money that way as well. Everyone who joins has to be approved by me, so we shouldn't get negative people or spammers on the group. If you decide to join please just include your MDC name in your request. And please feel free to pass it along to family or friends who you think would be helped by it as well.

In other news our Explorer didn't pass inspection. It needs pretty much all the brakes, springs, a new tie rod, ball joints, etc. So it's looking like that will be another $1000 onto the credit card. : We discussed our other options, but honestly a car payment is just NOT an option right now. Another used car would be all the $$$ to buy the car, plus get the ppwk done, plus hope *it* would pass inspection. At least we know what's wrong with the Explorer, and at least it was given to us by my ILs. They had it fixed up some & inspected before they gave it to us, so it hasn't cost us anything this past year besides oil changes, ppwk to get it on the road, and gas.

Oh, and now DD1 is starting to cough. Excellent. We should hear back from the PA tomorrow or Monday about the lab results & know for sure if it's pertussis. At least we all are feeling better otherwise. The cough is annoying, but with inhalers & some script cough meds we'll get through. I'm going to have to take the antibiotics though because I *work* at WIC and simply can't work with families until I'm not contagious. Even if they only shorten that time by a week or so that's one week sooner I can start working... And at least the script is covered by our state insurance so I only have to pay the $3 co-pay on it.
post #1238 of 1296
This thread moves way too quickly for me...

my girls are really sick, the baby especially. The nebulizer is keeping her breathing but she's got this horrific cough and while it was getting better for a bit it's worse again and she wakes up screaming hoarsely and coughing and... : Nothing in the world makes me feel so old and impotent as having a sick kid and knowing that she needs more help than she's getting. BooBah is doing pretty well-- she wheezes but does well with the breathing treatments and she's still energetic, you know? The coughing is not as scary. The baby on the other hand... I was raised by a respiratory therapist, and I've heard this cough and seen this thing before. She's got pneumonia, she smells like she's got a bacterial infection, and I'm really nervous that the cards won't get here in time.

That said, I got a letter back from welfare *TODAY*, and my food stamp meeting is scheduled for the 4th. It means that when I bring them all my paperwork, the kids will be eligible for coverage on *that day*, and of course will backdate... so tomorrow morning, I'm making her an appointment for next week and hopefully she'll hang on and be healthy enough not to need to be hospitalized then. : I just wish she was a little more pink... I keep telling myself it's the light, but I'm not 100% positive and I overthink and worry so bloody much...

So there are these major sorts of issues going on... but i'm still finding myself sweating small stuff. Like, I really wish I could go buy a bottle of that burt's bee's buttermilk lotion for Bella. She can't breathe right and that's far more important, but it still bothers me that I can't put anything on her skin because *everything else* that we've tried (read: anything that's inexpensive and available at WallyWorld) makes her break out in hives and she's so dry and itchy. And like, we've got lots of WIC juice in the freezer (a solid 80% of our family juice intake involves me pouring juice into mike when he's having a low blood sugar reaction ), but a fair bit of it is orange juice (sometimes that's all they have left in the freezer section, and we have no place to store the concentrates anymore) which Bean can't drink much of, because it's one of two things that can make him break out (the other being nickel/metal-- he can wear them now, but when he was a baby and overall buckles touched his skin, he'd break out).

I'm such a space case, i feel bad for ranting... things to be greatful for--

1. internet access. it's a good thing. scratch that-- it's a *necessary* thing.

2. sweet kids-- today, when asked, "what are you thankful for?" boobah answered, "I'm thankful for you, daddy, and for beanbean and bella and mamma." : bella has been super-duper lovey (when she's not just whining because she's sick)-- hugs and kisses all the time, and she pats and snuggles. beanbean's been a real punk, but he gives hugs and kisses every night at least, and loves to snuggle up with us and his sisters. and you know... for all they argue and torture one another, all three of them love one another madly and would defend one another to the death. gods help you if you try to chastise one of them-- you're met with loud protests of, "that's my brother!" and "you leave her alone, let my sister be!" Frustrating and irritating, but very sweet. I'm glad they're so closely connected, that of all the things which i could have totally screwed up thus far, I apparently have not failed at allowing my kids to develop a healthy relationship with one another.

3. lantus. i've said it before, i'll say it again. that stuff is a miracle, and i am so glad to have some in the house again. thank you, thank you, THANK you.

4. iron supplementation. i can kind of think again.

5. bean's new school courses loaded, and we've gotten the materials for 2 of the 3. not only is it exciting to start something new (for both of us) but the new courses shoudl take a bit longer to complete. if all goes as i expect it to, he'll actually finish these courses just in time to have a bit of a break when the seamonkey shows up. and wouldn't that just be perfect timing?

6. mike really tries to be helpful. he's been doing tons of laundry and dishes, and he still rinses poopy diapers in the sink before they go in the basket.

7. slip-on shoes. i've reached the point in this pregnancy where i can no longer tie my shoes, so i'm especially greatful to have a warm pair that i can slip into.

8. Agora again. I have a phone conference next week not with Bean's teacher, but with two others (including the head of the school) who are interested in making sure that Bean's needs are met. I didn't even have to initiate that-- Just asking the questions, and letting Bean do his thing, and they have made the time to speak with me. I read so much about parents of children with all kinds of needs struggling to have their kids' schools even acknowledge them, to say nothing of meet them, and we've got a school here that is just full of people who are eager to do everything within their power to support each and every child individually, according to their needs. Yeah, this is my first kid in school, but I know enough about them to know that this is *truly* something to be greatful for (even though in my opinion, it's the way every school ought to be).

9. That while I'm a bit of a mess, I'm relatively healthy. Yes, I could totally use a visit to a chiropractor and I'd probably commit all kinds of UA-Violating acts to get to a dentist, but it could be SO much worse-- I'm much healthier than I could be.

10. I found a bottle of conditioner that one of the kids had hidden in a closet. It's only 2/3 full, and will probably not last the year, but for the duration I will have pretty hair.
post #1239 of 1296
eilonwy

same for all the other mamas who need it. janerose,mamajaime,jamesmama....

i just got an email from school....there's a mumps outbreak on principle I didn't give them imm. records....but a letter of philosophical exemption.
i don't actually have records.......i emailed my doc asking for a 'quickie titre'....lets hope she can deliver

theres no way in hell i would get the shots

and i'm sure their 'outbreak' is 1 person who got mumps from the shot:

ahhh, principles.....don't you just love 'em?

joy is kinda shortlived:
post #1240 of 1296
[{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}






eilonwy............... hun just take her into the ER, tell them your cards are coming. They can't turn her away and your insurance will back date.

Don't take the chance.... just take her in! {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}







I will try to answer more tomorrow.
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