This thread moves way too quickly for me...
my girls are really sick, the baby especially. The nebulizer is keeping her breathing but she's got this horrific cough and while it was getting better for a bit it's worse again and she wakes up screaming hoarsely and coughing and...
: Nothing in the world makes me feel so old and impotent as having a sick kid and knowing that she needs more help than she's getting. BooBah is doing pretty well-- she wheezes but does well with the breathing treatments and she's still energetic, you know? The coughing is not as scary. The baby on the other hand... I was raised by a respiratory therapist, and I've heard this cough and seen this thing before. She's got pneumonia, she smells like she's got a bacterial infection, and I'm really nervous that the cards won't get here in time.
That said, I got a letter back from welfare *TODAY*, and my food stamp meeting is scheduled for the 4th. It means that when I bring them all my paperwork, the kids will be eligible for coverage on *that day*, and of course will backdate... so tomorrow morning, I'm making her an appointment for next week and hopefully she'll hang on and be healthy enough not to need to be hospitalized then.
: I just wish she was a little more pink... I keep telling myself it's the light, but I'm not 100% positive and I overthink and worry so bloody much...
So there are these major sorts of issues going on... but i'm still finding myself sweating small stuff. Like, I really wish I could go buy a bottle of that burt's bee's buttermilk lotion for Bella. She can't breathe right and that's far more important, but it still bothers me that I can't put anything on her skin because *everything else* that we've tried (read: anything that's inexpensive and available at WallyWorld) makes her break out in hives and she's so dry and itchy. And like, we've got lots of WIC juice in the freezer (a solid 80% of our family juice intake involves me pouring juice into mike when he's having a low blood sugar reaction
), but a fair bit of it is orange juice (sometimes that's all they have left in the freezer section, and we have no place to store the concentrates anymore) which Bean can't drink much of, because it's one of two things that can make him break out (the other being nickel/metal-- he can wear them now, but when he was a baby and overall buckles touched his skin, he'd break out).
I'm such a space case, i feel bad for ranting... things to be greatful for--
1. internet access. it's a good thing. scratch that-- it's a *necessary* thing.
2. sweet kids-- today, when asked, "what are you thankful for?" boobah answered, "I'm thankful for you, daddy, and for beanbean and bella and mamma."
: bella has been super-duper lovey (when she's not just whining because she's sick)-- hugs and kisses all the time, and she pats and snuggles. beanbean's been a real punk, but he gives hugs and kisses every night at least, and loves to snuggle up with us and his sisters. and you know... for all they argue and torture one another, all three of them love one another madly and would defend one another to the death. gods help you if you try to chastise one of them-- you're met with loud protests of, "that's my brother!" and "you leave her alone, let my sister be!" Frustrating and irritating, but very sweet. I'm glad they're so closely connected, that of all the things which i could have totally screwed up thus far, I apparently have not failed at allowing my kids to develop a healthy relationship with one another.
3. lantus. i've said it before, i'll say it again. that stuff is a miracle, and i am so glad to have some in the house again. thank you, thank you, THANK you.
4. iron supplementation. i can kind of think again.
5. bean's new school courses loaded, and we've gotten the materials for 2 of the 3. not only is it exciting to start something new (for both of us) but the new courses shoudl take a bit longer to complete. if all goes as i expect it to, he'll actually finish these courses just in time to have a bit of a break when the seamonkey shows up.
and wouldn't that just be perfect timing?
6. mike really tries to be helpful. he's been doing tons of laundry and dishes, and he still rinses poopy diapers in the sink before they go in the basket.
7. slip-on shoes. i've reached the point in this pregnancy where i can no longer tie my shoes, so i'm especially greatful to have a warm pair that i can slip into.
8. Agora again. I have a phone conference next week not with Bean's teacher, but with two others (including the head of the school) who are interested in making sure that Bean's needs are met. I didn't even have to initiate that-- Just asking the questions, and letting Bean do his thing, and they have made the time to speak with me. I read so much about parents of children with all kinds of needs struggling to have their kids' schools even acknowledge them, to say nothing of meet them, and we've got a school here that is just full of people who are eager to do everything within their power to support each and every child individually, according to their needs. Yeah, this is my first kid in school, but I know enough about them to know that this is *truly* something to be greatful for (even though in my opinion, it's the way every school ought to be).
9. That while I'm a bit of a mess, I'm relatively healthy. Yes, I could totally use a visit to a chiropractor and I'd probably commit all kinds of UA-Violating acts to get to a dentist, but it could be SO much worse-- I'm much healthier than I could be.
10. I found a bottle of conditioner that one of the kids had hidden in a closet. It's only 2/3 full, and will probably not last the year, but for the duration I will have pretty hair.