Originally Posted by easy_goer
My own personal definition of 'punishment' is "I don't like what you did so I'm going to do something to you that will make you uncomfortable/unhappy so you learn a lesson."
I have a very similar personal definition of punishment, and I think it is very likely that a child feels a type of love withdrawal when you intentionally make then uncomfortable/unhappy, especially if your main intention IS to make them unhappy to teach them a lesson. That probably applies more to unrelated consequences and punishments, than to related consequences, in many ways.
I imagine it would feel pretty cruddy to know that your parent is TRYING to make you unhappy.
When it comes to more related consequences, especially ones that are done specifically to keep someone safe, and there are talks about how to work it out so it is at least somewhat agreeable to dc, then I would think that not all of that would be felt by the child as love withdrawal.
So, if ds hits someone with a toy, and won't stop, and I take it away long enough to find an agreeable solution, I'm sure he might not perceive that as love withdrawal (though he may, as well).
It seems to me that there would be a difference between if Parent's main goal is to make dc unhappy (regret what you did), and if Parent's goal is to solve a problem while trying to find a MAS, but not stressing too much if they don't. I dunno... Maybe there's not that much of a difference.