Putting limits on something they really want

[wendizbaby]

My ds has recently become obsessed with our fireplace. He constantly is now asking for it to be on. If I'm cold, that's fine, but now he seems to want it on all the time (and I don't want to waste gas). Problem is, it's in our family room where we are all day, so he constantly asks for it to be on. I was thinking of maybe having a rule that it can be turned on twice a day for a half hour at a time. I could set a timer and then turn it off when the timer goes off. My ds is 20mo. do you think this is something that he could comprehend?

TIA!

Wendi

[Deir]

This just doesn't seem like something a 20 month gets to decide on. If it is cold, you use the fireplace otherwise- no. I'm sire it will start to lose its appeal once you begin using it regularly anyway,

[wendizbaby]

Originally Posted by Deir

This just doesn't seem like something a 20 month gets to decide on. If it is cold, you use the fireplace otherwise- no. I'm sire it will start to lose its appeal once you begin using it regularly anyway,

Exactly....hence the meltdowns. We've had two in the last hour and one lasted for 30 minutes.

[dawncayden]

At 20 months we started playing lots of pretend of what ds wanted but couldn't happen. For example, he wanted to water the plants everyday in the summer, but my plants would drown if they had that much water, so every second day we would pretend to water them with our watering cans and a 'shhhing' sound.
You could make his own little fireplace with fire out of construction paper and tape it to the wall, then sit by it and pretend it makes you all nice and toasty warm.

[WuWei]

I believe it cost about $1 per hour to run the gas logs. Fire is pretty fun to watch. I'd rather turn it on every. single. time. he. asks. than have ds try to do it when I'm not watching. And 2 year olds are smart. We just have a switch to turn the fire on. Problem is, it is in the fireplace. I don't want ds trying to do it alone. So, I am happy to do it every. single. time. he. asks. Which was about 10 times for a few days and occasionally, thereafter.

Oh, I kinda caught the house on fire when I was 5 y/o trying to use the cigarette lighter "when I wasn't supposed to", because I wanted to, but wasn't "allowed". So, I'm kinda passionate about fire. :




Pat

[swampangel]

I love the idea of making a pretend fireplace. Toddlers are usually pretty distractable...maybe that would work?

We have a similar issue with running the water...this is something I won't budge on because it is wasteful and water is a precious resource (as is gas, btw, regardless of cost). I struggled with this idea of wastefulness when my first was a toddler, too. Personally, our values are not to waste natural resources and we talk about why.

I would try distraction and if that doesn't work, find a fun activity to do in the kitchen or another part of the house.

[dawncayden]

I'm like that with water too. If he wants to play with water, I can fill up a small tub that he can play with/in, but no constant running water and playing in that.

[mamaduck]

Originally Posted by wendizbaby

was thinking of maybe having a rule that it can be turned on twice a day for a half hour at a time. I could set a timer and then turn it off when the timer goes off. My ds is 20mo. do you think this is something that he could comprehend?

So, what about when you want it on? Or when its cold and you decide you need it on? I think having a strict schedule will end up being self-punishment.

What about telling him WHEN you will turn it on. "Yes, we can have a fire, after lunch." Or "Yes, we can have fire.... in a little while."

I have also seen fireplace screen savers for the computer. That might hold his attention for a bit. Though, I guess having him stare at a screen for a long time might be a bad idea too.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I've recently become a big fan of "Lets try this instead!" and if it isn't acceptable, finding a way to make what DD wants to do safe. In the fireplace situation what worked for us was to say, "let's have candles instead!" then stick birthday candles on our food, sing a song about something (this week its "Happy Halloween to You"), blow out the candles, and eat. She currently finds this more fun than the fireplace. I can also say, "Yes! We'll have candles at dinnertime! What should we celebrate this time?"

I can't wake to sneak in those candles that keep re-lighting

Anyway usually we can find a way to delay, distract, or make safe without having to say "no."

[wendizbaby]

Thank you everyone for your great advice! I think I'll first try to make it a non-issue by turning it on when he asks (and since he gets distracted pretty quickly with something else),turning it off as soon as he's not looking.
If the excitement of it doesn't wear off, I'll try the distraction some more. I did use the positive statements like someone else suggested ("we'll turn it on later") and that didn't work. But a little pretend fireplace might be good!

Wendi