just a vent...

[karlugato]

I just need to vent a bit, I think. Yesterday I had my 2nd OB visit but this was the first time I met my doctor. My first visit I just saw a nurse practitioner who asked a lot of questions I had already answered on the forms I had filled out and tried to get me signed up for a formula club which I had declined. Yesterday my OB sees me. She's doing an internal exam and pap smear or whatever but it's a bit awkward because all my kids are with me. (husband's schedule changed last minute.. ugh) She was gentle, but afterwards, while my legs are still up and I'm exposed she starts telling me that I should do the gestational diabetes test which I had told the nurse practitioner previously that I'd rather not do. I start explaining my reasoning behind not wanting to do it and she got a bit aggressive, telling me that I am putting my baby at risk and that she needs to do it. I tell her she is putting me in an awkward position by talking to me about this while I am half naked so she tells me to get dressed and she will be right back to talk. Okay... over half an hour later she comes back, is in a rush, and tells me we can talk about it the next visit since they don't do it until next month or something anyways. I felt like she was punishing me by taking so long since I didn't agree with her. Obviously this is just going to be an argument after argument if I continue to see her. The kids were really good considering we were there for such a long time. I don't want to go back. I want to have a homebirth. My husband is leaving for Iraq next month and won't be back for the birth. I just don't want to do everything alone but looks like if I want to do things the way I'd like I'm going to have to. I think I mostly feel violated by the way she approached that topic, while I was in a very vulnerable position. I'm feeling a bit lonely about the whole thing. I'm excited about this baby but to my family it's almost a non-issue since it's my fourth. Well, I feel a bit better venting, I guess I just needed to get it out. Thanks everyone.

[rmzbm]

I wouldn't go back.
You want a homebirth but don't want to be alone? That's perfectly understandable...how about finding a terrific midwife to assist you at home?
Good luck!

[Stacymama]

Aww hang in there. I too would think about switching to another care provider. GD testing is done in the 28th to 30th week right? Seems kinda early to be talking about that. I have had 2 beautiful homebirths and would vote for that of course.
Do you have family near you? Help with the kids and someone you really trust to be there for you at the birth, if you were to do a homebirth? I'm sorry your dh can't be there. Just remember this is YOUR birth not anyone elses.

[LaffNowCryLater]

I'm sorry mama

Question- I'm assuming you have tricare? Do they not use midwives? I had my first 2 on Tricare and eveyone saw a midwife unless they were highrisk.
Could you switch clinics? I'm not sure how things are where you are but we could go to several different clinics, they usually sent you to the one closest to your home but I'm sure you could switch.

[karlugato]

Thanks everyone I think I will ask my mom to have the kids over for the birth. I would have liked to have them around but she doesn't really like the idea of homebirth and if she was here I think she may get scared and insist I go. I haven't had any problems with any other pregnancies though so hopefully this one will go smoothly too. I would love a midwife but we can't afford it and tricare is so complicated about the matter here, at least it seems that way from who I have talked to. Their was only one midwife in the system locally and she doesn't do homebirths. If I stay away from doctors I will probably feel better about everything. They always make me feel doubtful and nervous. I hate thinking that something may be wrong and they perpetuate that with their scare tactics. I know all of them aren't like that but I just have not had luck. Thanks for the replies, it's surprising how much just knowing someone is there listening can cheer you up. Lisa

[Irishcupcake]

hugs to you, mama! I hate pushy HCPs!

[lovingmommyhood]

I just want to give you a hug. I hate when HCPs think they know everything and just get flabbergasted that anybody would DARE disagree with them. Stand your ground and find someone new. I am so sorry you DH won't be able to be there with you.