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Queer TTC November 2007 - Page 20

post #381 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post
Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us
Just so you know, I had my first before I came out of the closet, and he was a big surprise, but I love him with all my heart, and he is very wanted. When I found out I was preggers, even though I had broken up with the "father", I was very excited and looking forward to having my baby. I put a lot of effort and consideration into the pregnancy and birth. I know you aren't trying to be mean, but please choose your words more wisely in this respect. That hurt my feelings.
post #382 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post
Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us
This kind of sentiment has never really made sense to me. And I've heard it several times--not trying to single you out Jen! But who's to say that any one child is more wanted than another, regardless of who the child's parents are? Every single parent I know, regardless of sexual orientation or biological status has very wanted children.

My dw and I certainly weren't "wanting" to have twins before I got pregnant. And it worked out perfectly in the end and we certainly want them now, but even with queer pregnancies, you can't plan everything. Dw was rather ambivalent about having a third child, and while she certainly loves him to death now that he's here, and she was supportive of me along the way, she would have been quite happy to just have the two kids. So to say that our third baby was among "the most wanted children in the world" would be false, at least in regards to my dw's feelings before the pregnancy.

Lex
post #383 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post

Kids of queers (both bio and adopted) and kids who are adopted, in my book, are the most wanted children in the world. Yay us
I agree with you Jen.

My partner and I went on an rfamily cruise and it was life changing. It was amazing to hear the stories of what some people were willing to sacrafice to have children. Others went through months of emotional ups and downs in efforts to have bio kids. The stories that moved me the most were those of gay men who were trying to have bio children with a surrogate; these men were spending upwards of $100,000 to become fathers.

I understood Jen's statement to be that these were children that didn't just happen after one lucky evening, these children were planned. They came from sacrafice and effort. You can really say that for all children. While I would not discredit anyones "wanting" of their children, I took this to mean the before the child arrived, not after it arrived, of course they were wanted once they were here.

terese
post #384 of 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelgirlz View Post
I understood Jen's statement to be that these were children that didn't just happen after one lucky evening, these children were planned. They came from sacrafice and effort. You can really say that for all children. While I would not discredit anyones "wanting" of their children, I took this to mean the before the child arrived, not after it arrived, of course they were wanted once they were here.

terese
Yes, but there are *many* more straight couples who struggle with infertility (and thus have very planned pregnancies) than there are queer parents all together! I mean, if queers are only 5% of the total population, what percentage of parents are queer? I live in a really queerly-populated place, and there are a ton of lesbian families here (not so many gay dads), but I'm guessing that overall, we are a small minority.
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