transitioning help needed!

[ZoshaMosha]

To say my two year old doesn't transition well is the understatement of the year. Life around our house is getting very tense.

It's almost impossible to leave the park, her daycare, a birthday party without an insane tantrum. I usually give her warning--"we have to leave soon, just a few more minutes and then we have to go." And she seems to understand, but she still throws a fit.

It's the same thing when we've reached the end of t.v. time, story time, etc...

I have to admit I have not been always dealing with this is the most patient manner, especially when this is the fifth fit she's thrown in a day.

I would love any advice! Thanks.

[~PurityLake~]

Only five?



Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

[ZoshaMosha]

Only five???? : I definitely couldn't handle more. They also tend to last up to an hour sometimes.

[~PurityLake~]

Yeah, sometimes Abigail's last for an hour.

The only thing that seems to work is to ask her to help with something.

Say we're leaving somewhere.

I ask her to help find her shoes, etc.

She usually says no.

But sometimes she helps.
She likes helping.

I try to meet her needs for hunger and sleep first.
Usually she tantrums when she's tired or hungry.

If those needs for hunger and sleep are met, and she's still having issues, I give her two choices. She can either .... or .....
If she doesn't choose one, and continues to tantrum, I tell her again, choose... or ....
I praise her if she chooses something and usually join her in that activity.


Sometimes her problem is over-stimulation.
I call it too much input, and she needs a break to process the input.


If she's still flipping out, I say, OK, you're upset, mad, etc whatever I think she's feeling at the time, so let's go in the bedroom for a time out, OK? She sometimes yells no, sometimes says okay through the sniffles. I set her on the bed (I found out that hugging her makes her worse, but you can try hugging first, like I did) and stand by the door, waiting. I tell her, I know, you're mad, go ahead and hit the pillow and yell. Since it's ok, she gets it out of her system.
Then when she seems to be calming down, I go to her, hug her, brush her hair out of her eyes, kiss away her tears, tell her I love her and offer one of the two choices from earlier. By then, she usually picks one excitedly and everything is OK again.