Happy Second Birthday, November '05 Babies! - Page 6

[*Amy*]

Spughy, congrats to DH on becoming an "official" PhD!! What an accomplishment.

Oh, and happy due-date to you, Spughy. I was just looking at the birth announcements thread and saw that this was your EDD with Rowan. Do you still have special feelings about this date? I know November 24th will always feel kind of special to me!

As for the imagination thing, Brynn's been very much in the world of her own imagination for months now. She's always picking me pretend flowers, and eating/making pretend food, and she has great wonderful two-sided conversations with her animals & dinosaurs (complete with special voices for each!). But you know, I don't recall that she's ever imagined anything scary to this point (or at least, she hasn't told me about it if she has). I like FSM's approach though; just maybe clarify "real" vs. "imagined" to help distinguish. Or if she does say something is scary, ask her to tell you what is scary about it. Maybe she's using imaginary play to work out some of her real feelings.

Back to the weight loss topic, I have noticed something interesting lately. Our scale ran out of batteries a couple of months ago and I never replaced them so I haven't weighed myself in probably 2 months. Interestingly, I've noticed that my body image has improved dramatically even though I may have only lost a few pounds recently (if any at all). I kind of want to weigh myself to see, but I also kind of don't, because I like this feeling of relative body acceptance that I've been feeling lately and don't want it to evaporate if I see I haven't lost anything at all!

My other little bit of news is that a good friend of mine (a professional artist) agreed to do a gesture sketch of a nursing photo of me and Brynn (I don't think I have it uploaded anywhere, so I can't share it right now). Anyway, he just emailed me and told me it's finished, and how much he loved doing it. He does nudes, but he's never done a mama/baby pair before, and he said he felt that he is a part of my life "in some small way" and that he hopes that someday Brynn will love the sketch of the two of us. He lives in St. Louis, and he's mailing it to me, so I can't wait to see it!

[Gunter]

sarah- congrats to you! ez has surprised me, too with some of that imaginary play happening. she was pretending to diaper her penguin this morning. now that she is not nursing , she has really taken to nursing her babes. she walks around quietly for what seems like a good stretch of time just focused on nursing them. it's precious.

Re: weaning. I am more sad about it now that i was a week ago. here is how it happened...she didn't nurse for four days or so. then, she nursed once on the day before her birthday. then she nurse don her birthday (last tuesday nov 6). she has not nursed since then, really. she asks for milka and puts her mouth on my shirt and pretends to nurse then giggles like crazy. today, she tried on both sides for less than 30 secs but didn't seem to find anything worth her interest. so, she stopped and said, "this one's for buxton.", which is what we're calling the babe-in-womb.

it just seems she is soooo much more independent from me now that she's not nursing. we still get mad snuggles and cuddles. she'll sit in my lap and let em read four or five books to her. i love that time so much. and, we eat way more food at the table together now. but not nursing coupled with more independent play and sleeping in her own bed is making me miss her. dh feels the same way. OTOH, it's nice to have a physical break for my boobies before this next babe comes. reallllllllly nice. and, it's nice to have so much more space in the bed for a few months, too. she's slept in her own room in her own bed since last friday night. if she cries, i go in to help her settle. it's going so well; i am so shocked and surprised. it's just all happened so quickly and so easily that i am only beginning to realize it, i guess?

anyone else go through this?

[DreamsInDigital]

OMG Helen why did you have to remind me? The wedding is in 17 days! PANIC!

[flapjack]

Don't panic, Lydia, life is too short for that.

Gunter, I'm right there with you. Skye is so fiercely independent now, and so self-contained, almost: bedtime, she trundles off to bed, says nightnight, rolls over and that's it. Naptime is heading the same way and I just don't know if I'm ready for this,y'know? (saying that, she went to bed at 6 tonight because she hadn't napped.)

[kaspirant]

We get to go hear Alfie Kohn speak tonight!!! I'm so excited!


yep that's all.

[Gunter]

Originally Posted by kaspirant

We get to go hear Alfie Kohn speak tonight!!! I'm so excited! yep that's all.

oh, i am so jealous! anyone have his dvd that i could borrow? i should probably get my own copy, eh? i have only read "unconditional parenting" and bits of "punished by rewards" by i vibe with his ideas, totally.

in other news, i am so sick and crappy feeling that i never got dressed or showered today. my head is stuffy and my nose is so dry it hurts. complain, complain, sorry.

lydia- it will all come together. chant amy's siggy a few times when you start hyperventilating!

helen- don't you just miss her? aren't we glad to have another little snuggler coming along?

[*Amy*]

Originally Posted by kaspirant

We get to go hear Alfie Kohn speak tonight!!! I'm so excited!

Man!! I am so jealous too! He rocks.

Gunter, y'all crack me up. I mean, I don't mean to make light of your sadness about it, but just how a couple of months ago you were all, Get OFF. MY. BOOBS. You'll have a booby barnacle again soon, Mama.

And Sarah, Brynn must have been channeling into your vibe because TWICE today, she told me she was "a little bit afraid" of something (1. Roomba - it was eating her toes; and 2. A book. ). What up with that?

[3for3hb]

OMG, I am so behind on the thread. I've been going to bed entirely too late and not getting enough rest so I've been pretty much useless these past few days. Of course with no sleep comes roller coaster emotions so I had a bit of a hormonal meltdown today but was able to sit down, talk to dh and reconnect so I'm feeling better now.

Of course, then I decided to edit Gabriel's birth video (and download a clip to the yahoo group) and am a sobby mess all over again. Helen, we need to have a heart to heart. Watch the video first.

So tomorrow is the big day. We'll be spending time as a family. I'll take pics and hopefully post them soon.

Gunter - I know when Gabriel weaned I experienced one of the greatest heartaches I've ever known. He was so over it while I was so sad.

[Queen of Cups]

Weaning, weaning, weaning... Ellie's no where close to weaning, but I think Killy might have weaned himself. Its been at least three days since he asked to nurse. I'm feeling pretty at peace with it, 3 years and 5 and a half months is a pretty good run. I'm sure its also softened by the fact that Ellie still nurses a ton. Of course, now that I've written this, he'll probably wake up and ask to nurse tomorrow morning! I thought maybe he'd weaned a couple weeks ago when he went two days without asking, but then he asked again. He's been on and off since then, but hasn't asked since the weekend this time. He comes and gets in bed with us during the night, and in the morning he asked to cuddle, and then asked for cereal.

[spughy]

Originally Posted by *Amy*

Oh, and happy due-date to you, Spughy. I was just looking at the birth announcements thread and saw that this was your EDD with Rowan. Do you still have special feelings about this date? I know November 24th will always feel kind of special to me!

I totally forgot about the date. I was bedridden with hemorrhoids, hoping she'd stay in until they got a bit better. So, not so much with the special feelings.

Off-topic, does anyone have any ideas for dairy-free icing that doesn't involve some sort of nasty processed vegetable oil product (ie margarine, vegetable shortening)? I was going to try coconut oil whipped with honey. A couple of Rowan's little friends are dairy-free and their moms are saying "oh they don't need icing" and I think that's just mean They're getting whole wheat no-refined-sugar carrot muffin "cupcakes" - yeah, they need icing.

[flapjack]

Spughy, I did write a post that implied you'd missed the obvious by not just doing a lemon glace icing; but then I saw the no refined sugar bit. I, personally, would drizzle with honey 5 minutes before I took them out of the oven, but somewhere is a recipe for a tofu-based icing. (pureed soft tofu and something else, I think.)
Monique, heart-to-hearts work for me, but I'll warn you, I'm not making much sense these days.
And, guess what? Today is 2 days past my due date with Skye, 16 days past my due date with Alex and yet again I'm having irritating and infuriating Braxton Hicks. Boy, this sounds familiar

[MelW]

We're nowhere close to weaning, but I'm at a place now where I see how it might one day be possible. We have some days where she nurses in the morning and then not again until naptime, but more often another once or twice inbetween. And again all night long. I'm contemplating trying nightweaning again, or partial nightweaning. Since the begging not to chew off mamas nipples in her sleep is once again not working :

Neela gets scared by her imaginary things sometimes, too. We talk about them being pretend, and also work on asking them if they want to be friends. There is an imaginary horse in our bedroom that has been there for weeks now (it's the same one that dressed as a peacock for hallowe'en) that she used to be afraid of but is now "buddies" with.

She has also been reading books to us so much. I can't believe how quickly she remembers stories- she retold a rather long book this morning that we just got from the library last week. My current favourite is the runaway bunny, which is so adorable I want to squish her to pieces.

Monique, did the video bring back memories or were things different than you "remembered" (if that makes any sense). I guess what I'm asking is if you remembered his birth in the same way as it was on video, or if there were things that were different. Part of my decision not to photograph or video Neela's birth was a desire to just remember and be, rather than document. But I bet there are things you notice watching it again... Feel free to ignore me if this is unhelpful. Big hugs.

[Queen of Cups]

Originally Posted by MelW

Monique, did the video bring back memories or were things different than you "remembered" (if that makes any sense). I guess what I'm asking is if you remembered his birth in the same way as it was on video, or if there were things that were different. Part of my decision not to photograph or video Neela's birth was a desire to just remember and be, rather than document. But I bet there are things you notice watching it again... Feel free to ignore me if this is unhelpful. Big hugs.

You know, I couldn't stand watching the video of my wedding because it wasn't like I remembered it in my head and I didn't want to have another perspective messing up what I remembered. I got upset and had to leave the room when we tried to watch it a few months after our wedding. At that moment (years before I ever got pregnant) I knew that I did not want to have my births videoed. We took a few pictures during early labor with Killy and a lot right after, and Ellie's birth was so fast that we didn't any until after she was born - and I'm fine with it. I'll always remember it perfectly!

I'm so happy - it snowed today for the first time this year! On my birthday!

[*Amy*]

Happy Birthday, Jen!!!!!

Mel, we have mostly officially night-weaned, and it went really easily for us. I just felt like we were both ready. It took about a week of *crying* at 4:00am and one of us getting up to get cow milk, which was usually refused, but now she will nurse before bed, and then sleep in her own bed til around midnight, come to our bed *without even asking for milkie*, and then sleep til around 4:00. She still wakes up almost every night around 4:00 and will sometimes ask for milkie, and when she does I just tell her it's not morning yet, and she will cuddle back to sleep. Then she will usually wake up between 5:00 and 6:00, and then I do nurse her, and we sleep (lightly) til around 7:00. It's been working really well so far, and I've been really enjoying sleeping with her now that she cuddles so much! I love it!

Monique, are you having negative feelings about your birth experience? I have to tell y'all, especially with Brynn's birthday approaching, I still have a lot of grief about our birth experience as well. I still go through the same things in my mind, ask myself the same questions, get mad at myself all over again...not to mention that I still have pain and numbness around my incision area! So, yeah....I can understand where you're coming from.

We're leaving for Texas tomorrow so I'd better get off my butt and keep on packing. It's so annoying though because it's going to range in temperatures from lows in the 40s to highs in the 80s....so I have to pack pretty much everything we own. :

[HoneyTree]

We're four day's past the EDD and still 14 days to the birthday! Oh yea, I remember this time two years ago QUITE well, and I have the stretch marks and pitocin-worry lines to prove it!

This is from a few pages back, but I love cooking with Woody. His dad's a big cook, so when one or the other of us is in the kitchen working (which is most of the time), Woody's up on a chair "chopping" (with a butter knife and already-cut veggies) or stirring (flour in a metal bowl) or grinding salt or "washing dishes" (water, dishes, cloth, soap, but not so much the cleaning) or especially kneading dough. I'm baking two loaves of bread almost weekly now, so we always make Woody buns along with it.

And as far as the imaginary play goes, that is by far my most favorite thing now. He makes pretend fires in the backyard with sticks, even breaking them into smaller pieces and warning us not to step in the "hot fa-ya." He makes pretend food. He puts pretend things in a bag and carries them around. He pretends that he's a dog or a frog or a bus or a "big truck." I play along; we haven't veered into the unsettling pretend yet.

Helen, I was reading your upset posts and just feeling so sorry for you. It's the pits being stuck in a bad place and watching the negative energy pile on top of you. I'm glad things have been looking on the up and up lately.

Amy, you inspired me; this past weekend I painted my bathroom. Our walls have been white and mostly unadorned for 11 months, and it was time for some color!

[Gunter]

just wanted to wish you all happy nov birthday and a happy labor day for the mamas.

this will sound funny given i am now starting my six month of pregnancy...we have our first visit with the midwife at noon today. she's the same one who caught ezra and we've e-mailed some while i was abroad so it's not news to here or anything. i am stoked to see her! ez wants to tell her, "i want to help catch buxton" "when his head come out...and placenta". precious.

last night as she fell asleep (in our bed for the first time in a week), she told me, "buxton is in mama's uterus". why, yes, buxton is, you little midwife baby!

I am still fighting off a cold which has led to much online surfing for organic clothes and a few TP purchases over the past 24 hours. Uh-oh, gotta get better just to save some money. :

[Awaken]

I am just reliving everything this week...it's the 16th, and this was the week, 2 years ago, that I had quit my job for good (HA! So I thought!!) and had the only job-free week of my life since I was 14. It was awesome. I did all kinds of fun errands, had a pregnancy massage, took myself out to eat and to the book store, went out to the movies with Matt. I had no idea if the baby would be coming that day, that week, or weeks from then! And 2 days from then....BAM! He barreled out. I think we had just decided on his name a couple days before, too.

And, it was such a fun time in our DDC- watching the posts daily for baby announcements!

Amy-

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Monique, heart-to-hearts work for me, but I'll warn you, I'm not making much sense these days.

Yeah? Neither am I. Well. I guess I am... I'm just out of sorts. I guess I can open up to everyone here. I feel safe enough to.

Originally Posted by MelW

Monique, did the video bring back memories or were things different than you "remembered" (if that makes any sense). I guess what I'm asking is if you remembered his birth in the same way as it was on video, or if there were things that were different. Part of my decision not to photograph or video Neela's birth was a desire to just remember and be, rather than document. But I bet there are things you notice watching it again... Feel free to ignore me if this is unhelpful. Big hugs.

Oh, yes. Definitely. It was even different than what I remember watching last year or even the first time I watched it after Gabriel was born. I remember being so, so, so tired during labor and just wanting to quit (I know, transition... but I felt like that throughout). After all the "I think it's my time" misfires and prodromal labor I was just wasted emotionally and I remember thinking that I just didn't **want** to do it. So very different from the first time where I stayed with it and just let the labor take me where it needed to. I felt more centered (much more snappy to everyone around me) in my first birth than I did last time.
I'm glad we videotaped it. I noticed funny things like me yelling at the mw to not push the baby back in!!!! and asking if I needed a hot compress (to which she replied, no, you're in a hot compress). I guess I just have these perfectionistic ideas about birth, you know, the ones where the woman remains strong and is able to breathe through the surges and then has a huge smile on her face in the moment of birth etc etc. Not that I expect that to be my story everytime. I just felt so helpless. So out of control. And even though I expected to be out of control I still wanted to be able to go with it. I saw how focused I became when my mw locked eyes with me and just kept repeating affirmations over and over. And when my body started to shake (with the last contraction or two) she got my attention and did it again and it just calmed me. It really irritated me how annoyingly clingy I was emotionally and so pulsitilla-like in nature. And how much my voice sounded like my own mother (who moaned and cried just about everyday of my childhood... she's needed psychological and emotional therapy all her life and has never gone). I think maybe part of my clingy, needy actions were just a part of my hidden fears of abandonment and rejection mostly surrounding the lack of relationship with my mother.
So yeah, there's fear now that it will be more intense this go around. I remember exactly how I felt during those contractions. I kept catching my breath in sobs as I listened to my voicing through them. Like partly in awe of the power of birth but partly afraid for myself that I won't be able to do it again. I really thought I wouldn't make it last time. And I'm afraid that I won't have the support I want (even though dh was LOADS more supportive during my second birth as opposed to my first where he was more the bystander). I realized that we WILL NEED someone to be here with the kids (I was kind of hoping to skip that and just have it a family affair). I have someone in mind but it so goes against the intimate UC I have in my mind... that darned perfectionistic idea that I can't shake, not because it feels right but because I feel like I've come short if I do less. How can I feel this way after two beautiful and peaceful homebirths. It's all about perspective, isn't it?
Granted, I'm comparing myself to an iconic standard of who knows what. I don't really have a realistic idea about what birth really is like apart from birth in my own home. And all the UC stuff I've read has made me feel less than in terms of feeling like I want and need the emotional anchor that only another woman can provide. I was in birthing heaven last time, what, with dh supporting me physically in the tub/birth position, one midwife keeping track of baby's heartbeat and holding pressure on my sacrum, and one bobbing around here and there, making sure I was anchored emotionally. And yet I acted like a freaking wimp. And that's what really ticks me off. How I acted. I wanted to give birth and be able to stand on my own and get out of the tub on my own and **help** myself rather than need to be helped. It was that part of it all that caught me off guard and disempowered me.
There's also fear in the part after the actual birth where I'm in the tub, holding Gabriel, leaning back on Chris and my head sort of starts bobbing up and down and my eyes start closing and I can hear just enough edge in my mw's voice to know that it wasn't a good sign to them. I was in a hormonal high (but not feeling too good about it) for quite a while and I just wanted out. I drank and ate a TON afterward (as soon as I birthed the placenta and urinated) and kept it up for about three days. I couldn't stop the hunger. The actual postpartum time was so special. I slept skin to dewy skin with Gabriel that first night. He was such a good nurser. and so peaceful. Such a little bundle of peace.
I just feel like I need some perspective on all of this because I just don't feel ready this time.


Plus.. and I feel okay saying it here... I don't have the support I did in our ddc with this new one. I'm there enough to know the regular posters etc but I just don't feel the wonderful feminine mothering energy of Fern, or the sage advice of Helen and Kavita, or the animation and fun of Aubrey, or the bright happy energy of Amy and Honeytree, or the sweetness of Awaken, or the levelheadedness of picnicbear, or the go-get-'em ness of Gunter and samsmama... (please no one feel left out if I didn't name you) I could go on and on. I'm glad there are a couple of us in the new ddc together but there's no real kinship goin' on. just blugh. I'm awful aren't I????

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by Queen of Cups

You know, I couldn't stand watching the video of my wedding because it wasn't like I remembered it in my head and I didn't want to have another perspective messing up what I remembered. I got upset and had to leave the room when we tried to watch it a few months after our wedding. At that moment (years before I ever got pregnant) I knew that I did not want to have my births videoed. We took a few pictures during early labor with Killy and a lot right after, and Ellie's birth was so fast that we didn't any until after she was born - and I'm fine with it. I'll always remember it perfectly!

I'm so happy - it snowed today for the first time this year! On my birthday!

happy belated birthday!!

I get pissed off when I watch my wedding video. It totally messed up my perspective of what I thought was the most beautiful and perfect time.

[flapjack]

Monique Not ignoring you, just got to get some sleep right now and I need time to string a sentence together. I'll be back in the morning, 'kay?
Loves to everyone.