What do you wish you had known before giving birth?

[Veritaserum]

It can be anything, major or minor.

For first-time moms, what questions do you have about giving birth?

For me, I wish I had known that I have choices in birthing. When I gave birth to my first baby, there were a number of things done to me during the labor and birth that I didn't like, but I didn't know I could say "no thanks" or that I should be asking questions.

[cheeseRjedi]

I wish I would have known that squatting increases your pelvic opening by 30%.

[georgia]

I just bumped this thread

I wish I'd known that hospitals were not a safe place for *me* to birth!

[HerthElde]

I wish I would have know that "feeling a bit pushy" and being fully dilated does not mean it's time to push! After #2, I realized that I started pushing too soon with #1, and that's why it took so long (and why my uterus got boggy). DON'T PUSH! Your body will do the work

[meggles]

I wish I would've known just how many contractions it takes to fully dilate. I was in labor for 40 hours, so maybe I'm on the extreme end of normal, but they just kept coming and coming! I wasn't really prepared for the sheer number and intensity of them. In hindsight, I wish I'd take a hypnobirthing class.

[Robinna]

OK I've got the giggles now because I just figured out who you are.

[Storm Bride]

I wish I'd known that my baby had flipped breech, that the doctors would in fact do a c-section for that, even after I'd said "no"...and that there actually were midwives in my city, even though they weren't licensed...

[rmzbm]

That normal birth has NO place in a hospital.

[2bluefish]

I wish I would have known that going into labor is far more complex than just getting contractions. I wish I would have understood that alot of "information" out there about how "normal" labor progresses is based on "managed" births and does not adequately describe the progression of many truly natural labors.

[Twinklefae]

I wish I'd known that I should have a back up plan. When I got into trouble and got the epidural DF didn't know what to do! We hadn't discussed it because I wasn't going to get one. Medical interventions do have their place, and for me that place was after 36 hours of labour, 4cm dilated and with a baby in a strange position that was making me push and swelling my cervix shut. Expect the unexpected!

[Patchfire]

I wish I had known to turn off the analytical portions of my brain, and to stop trying to analyze my labor while I was in the midst of it. I wish I had given more credence to letting my instincts take me through it. Once I did, with the second - oh, what a difference.

[nummies]

I wish that I had known to seek more support. DH is great but he really couldn't give me the kind of support that I needed then. My midwife was horrible and didn't show up at the hospital until after I gave into the pain for an epidural. I wish that I had hired a doula and birthed at home. :

[Romana]

I wish I had known that it would take more than 2-3 weeks to get my body back. It came back great . . . by 6-7 mos pp. It was kind of scary and disheartening and depressing at the beginning. If I'd just realized it wasn't going to be permanent, I would have felt better.

I wish I had really listened to myself earlier in the pregnancy when the doctor we were seeing sent up red flags/alarm bells. I was so desperate for my homebirth that I was willing to disregard those alarms . . . but I really needed to listen and find a different HCP sooner. Trying to switch at 37+wks (and going into labor at 38 wks) is not an easy thing.

I wish I had known that you could do everything "right" and be unafraid and still have an extremely painful/difficult/complicated birth.

I wish I had really understood that basic logic/lore/knowledge of childbirth is just that - general knowledge. That common assumptions can always be trumped in birth by mother nature's quirks. That nothing is guaranteed (for me, this most particularly referred to "everyone having an uninhibited birth will have a pushing urge if she just waits long enough" and "even if you never have a pushing urge, your body will just push the baby out on its own"). I have a greater and deeper respect for birth now that I really understand, through experience, that what is *usually* or *almost always* true in birth will not necessarily be so for me.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by Patchfire

I wish I had known to turn off the analytical portions of my brain, and to stop trying to analyze my labor while I was in the midst of it. I wish I had given more credence to letting my instincts take me through it. Once I did, with the second - oh, what a difference.

Sound advice!

[hanno]

That's it's okay for a placenta to take a long time coming out and not to let the midwife scare you into forcing it out. I now have prolapse
I looked up just about everything else and just assumed the placenta would just come right out in 20 minutes.

[pampered_mom]

I wish I would have know that getting to the part where you actually "get to give birth" was not as easy as one might expect...that being able to go into labor isn't something that one gets to do automatically and that there are providers who would rather you didn't for one reason or another.

That there are choices and that you don't have to take your care providers word for it (and probably shouldn't just take their word for it). That you really should double check what they're telling you and even possibly consider getting a second opinion.

[Funny Face]

Originally Posted by rmzbm

That normal birth has NO place in a hospital.

Yeah, it may sound a little snooty or whatever but I've realized just how true this is. I really thought that I could have the birth that I wanted in a hospital with a midwife and that if I told them what I did/didn't want they would listen.

I work in L&D and newborn now and see how much happens that the patient doesn't know about, isn't informed about, isn't included in the care. A thousand little things that add up to a VERY unnatural birth process for mom and baby.

I had dd in a hospital and went into working in L&D with a very open mind, but there is no way I would choose to birth in a hospital again. It's great when it is truly necessary, but apart from necessity it isn't a good place for mom and baby.

[Magali]

That even if you go into labor naturally and everything is progressing as it should, if u are in a hospital they will try to get you on pitocin at some point (probably purely for their own convenience), then you will most likely need an epidural and so much for your natural birth. Like stated in a pp normal birth has no place in a hospital.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

This may seem small and petty compared to some of the other things in this thread... but here goes anyway. The bleeding is not that bad. I was dreading all of the pp bleeding. It wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. This time around I will use mama cloth instead of disposable items, but even with nasty Always pads, it wasn't nearly as annoying as I thought it would be.

[LaffNowCryLater]

Originally Posted by cheeseRjedi

I wish I would have known that squatting increases your pelvic opening by 30%.

wow really!!?? I will def. keep that in mind in a few months!