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What do you wish you had known before giving birth? - Page 3

post #41 of 69
11/5/07 at 10:12pm
I wish I had known that my midwife wouldn't show up to my birth till it was too late.......

I wish I had told someone that my baby was posterior.

I wish I had been at home instead of a birth center.

I wish I could do it over again.

I wish that I had read up on c/s instead of being overly confident that I would NEVER have to have one!
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post #42 of 69
11/6/07 at 12:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robinna View Post
I just realized I didn't actually answer the question.

The main thing that I wish I had known is that you get exactly the birth that your caregiver believes you should have. Having a midwife is not necessarily an opt-out; it's not automatic protection against c/s for breech, twins, or vbac. If your trusted caregiver is scared, you will end up scared, and you will end up doing what s/he suggests, because it's very hard to have more faith in a piece of paper representing research than it is to have faith in your trusted, beloved MW who is looking you in the face saying, "it's your choice, but..." Having a MW is not enough; you need a MW who has the same priorities as you do or else you end up having HER birth - not your own.
Wow. I've never heard that said so perfectly! ITA!!!!
post #43 of 69
11/6/07 at 1:03am
I wish I had known that even getting the "perfect" birth I wanted, with a midwife, no drugs, and a lovely, supportive little hospital, I could end up so physically exhausted, with strained muscles and a bad tear, that I couldn't lift my own baby for days, that I only wanted them to take her away so I could sleep. I wish I hadn't listened to all that overblown fantasy about "the perfect birth." :-)

I wish, when I sent my husband home to sleep, that I'd asked someone else to come stay for that lonely, painful first night at the hospital.

I wish that at the time I had had a friend, any friend, who knew her way around babies - my mother didn't remember anything, and I was the first of my group to reproduce.

I wish that I had set up a meeting for the lactation consultant for the MINUTE my milk came in. It would have made things so much easier, less painful, and my daughter would not have spent the first week going hungry.
post #44 of 69
11/6/07 at 5:13pm
I wish I had known that tearing is better than an episiotomy, and then I might have said "NO!" when the midwife said she was going to cut me!

I'm expecting baby #2 next month, a homebirth with a different midwife who does not cut. Even though it's better than an episiotomy, I'm still hoping I don't tear.
post #45 of 69
11/6/07 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tammyswanson View Post
That is SO TRUE! I felt like I was trying to push out 30 lbs of hardened concrete!! Much different than I expected!
And as an addendum to that ... I wish I'd known that, for several days post birth, I would feel like someone in steel-toed boots had kicked me repeatedly in the butt.
post #46 of 69
11/6/07 at 7:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by spero View Post
And as an addendum to that ... I wish I'd known that, for several days post birth, I would feel like someone in steel-toed boots had kicked me repeatedly in the butt.
LOL I totally forgot about that part - yeah, my bum was freakin' sore. :
post #47 of 69
11/6/07 at 7:28pm
I wish I had specifically told the ultrasound technician NOT TO REVEAL MY BABY'S GENDER TO ANYONE, NOT EVEN THE MIDWIFE! after she had completed the biophysical profile

I wish I had known that my midwife was going to BLURT OUT THE SEX 5 min. before I even started pushing the baby out. I waited 9 whole months to be surprised.

I wish I had known that she would (purposefully) break my bag of waters and say "oops" afterwards, even though I said NO! seconds before she did it.
post #48 of 69
11/14/07 at 9:36pm
I wish I had never had the epidural. I had planned a med-free birth and I caved, I asked for ALL of the details before I got the epidural and thought I had them. I would have never agreed to something that required a catheter(sp). After 3 tries the epidural still didn't work, but that didn't stop them from shoving a catheter in me. I wish I had known that they would put a catheter, fetal monitor, and contraction monitor thingy inside of me. Do they realize how annoying it feels when after every push those cords that had started to come out, suck themselves back up there? Really makes you feel like you are making progress!! I wish I had known that my milk was ok, my daughter was getting enough, and my hospital would push bottle feeding. If I hadn't worried about her and listened to him, we would still be bfing. It is kindof sad that the stitches healed long before my uretha(sp) bruising...
post #49 of 69
11/15/07 at 12:57pm
I wish I would have known not to do it in a hospital!!!!

Also I wish I would have gone to the hospital later with #1. I thought I was further along than I was. This time we are planning a homebirth though. Yay!!!
post #50 of 69
11/15/07 at 1:27pm
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post #51 of 69
11/15/07 at 1:32pm
I wish I stayed out of the hospital. Although I had a fabulous, respectful OB, an amazing nurse present at the birth, and a surprisingly progressive hospital, once that intervention snowball started rolling, the birth I wanted became totally lost.
post #52 of 69
11/15/07 at 6:20pm
I wish I had known that I didn't have to go to the hospital when my water broke. As it was, we waited about 8 hours, and then DH was getting paranoid. Wish I'd stayed home until CTX started... or just UC'd!
post #53 of 69
11/16/07 at 4:48am
I wish I had known that it can take a LONG time and still be NORMAL! That just because you have been in labor for over 24 hours, doesn't mean that something is wrong.

I wish I had known how much it would mean to me to have someone "official" give me reassurance. I picked up on my midwife's concern a lot, and if I had had another experienced woman there to reassure me that things were going fine it would have helped me relax a lot more (my midwife's assistant would have been perfect, but I didn't ask her for comfort because I didn't realize how much it would have meant to me until afterwards). My dh and best friend were there to reassure, but neither of them had given birth before...
post #54 of 69
11/16/07 at 5:37am
For my first birth - I wish I had known that homebirth existed.

For my second birth - I wish I had known more about nuchal cords.
post #55 of 69
11/16/07 at 4:31pm
I wish I had known that, despite what I was told, even if you don't have an iota of fear, it will still hurt like

And I *really* wish I had known that there's absolutely no reason to test an asymptomatic newborn's blood sugar just because they're big. I knew I was going to have a big baby, but I didn't come across ANY references to this 'routine' procedure in any of my research about birth and babies beforehand.:
post #56 of 69
11/16/07 at 4:33pm
I wish I had known that I didn't HAVE to give birth in a hospital and that I do, in fact, know what is best for me and that I'm not just crazy.
post #57 of 69
11/16/07 at 4:46pm
well the first time i never gave birth had a cs, and i cant really say i wish i knew anything beforehand. i knew they were going to pressure me to go agianst my wishes, i jsut wish i was stronger to say no

the second time i wish i knew it was going to hurt for me. i though everyone else was wusses and birth really didnt hurt since i got to 6cm with no pain and i've heard of women asking for epidurals at 1cm now i know every one is different but i dont get any pain till 7cm luckily!
post #58 of 69
5/7/08 at 3:34pm
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This is great, thanks guys. More Please
post #59 of 69
5/7/08 at 3:40pm
I wish I'd been more aware that midwives tend to get more hands-on than they will admit during birthing and that, despite what some midwives encourage, it is essential to have a birth plan at a midwife-assisted birth.
post #60 of 69
5/7/08 at 10:44pm
Quote:
I wish I had known that I was going to have to work a lot harder to have things the way I wanted them *after* the birth (while still in the hospital) than *during*. My care providers were remarkably hands-off and completely respectful of my birth plan during labor and delivery. After that, though, it was all "her temp is down, we HAVE to take her and warm her up" and "we are just going to take her for ONE MINUTE to weigh her" and crazy confusing breastfeeding info when I asked for help...that was really awful. The birth did not go how I planned but I felt empowered by it and in control. Afterwards I felt totally out of control and I regret the way things happened (not saying "NO, YOU WILL WEIGH HER LATER, GO AWAY" or "I DO NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE HER TO BE WARMED", etc.) - even though these were very small things in comparison to what many people go through, they still bother me a little.
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