or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › A saleswoman put her hands on my ds!!! Update post 16
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

A saleswoman put her hands on my ds!!! Update post 16 - Page 2

post #21 of 60
Your response to the clerk was great! The only thing that came to my mind would have been to add something like:

"If you were concerned you should have spoken to me. If he would have broken it we would be required to and would have paid for it. What you've just done is assaulted a child. Never touch another person's child. I need the name and number of your supervisor."

Hugs to you. I'm glad they responded to your email the way they did. They need to take it seriously. Keep us posted.
post #22 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheshire View Post
If he would have broken it we would be required to and would have paid for it.
Actually, my understanding is no, you don't have to pay for it - that's why they have insurance, regardless of their signs and what they tell you.
post #23 of 60
I'm willing to bet that the candle holder was that unbreakable "resin" stuff, anyway.

The salesperson probably has a problem with anger. I think sometimes people like that, especially young adults, see how kids get treated by their own parents - mainstream discipline, public yelling/spanking etc - and erroneously conclude that kids are fair game for everyone.

Especially considering that a lot of parents would have said "oh, they don't want you to touch that, Johnny!" and apologized to the salesperson.
post #24 of 60
My family owns a small retail store with a gift department. We sell all sorts of candles and breakable things. We *do* have signs up asking that customers not bring the big carts into that part of the store and to not leave their children anywhere in the store unattended. That said... there is NO WAY we would ever ask a customer to pay for something that was broken by accident. There is no way that any employee of the store would touch or threaten or reprimand someone else's child. No freaking way.
post #25 of 60
What a refreshing response from corporate! I would follow up with corporate and with the store manager .. that type of insane behavior needs to be handled. I'm sure your son is far from the only child ever to go into that candle store and touch something, kwim?

You showed excellent restraint and had a perfect response. The few times we've had incidents, I'm usually in shock and have nothing to say. Then I sit and fume about it for days, thinking of all the smart responses I could have said!
post #26 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
I just got an email from the store:

Hello,

My name is xxxxxxxx and I am the Consumer Affairs Manager for the
xxxx xxxx Company. I just received the E-mail you sent to us and I
simply cannot imagine what our employee was thinking. I have contacted
the district manager in the Florida area as well as the store you
visited for their feedback to this. Please understand that we are
taking this very seriously and apologize for the inconvenience that this
incident has caused you and your son. Please feel free to call me
anytime during the week at 1800-xxx-xxxx

Sincerely,
xxx xxxxxxxx
Consumer Affairs Manager
Retail Operations
This must be very scary to CS because the employee was acting directly as an agent of this company, and trying to protect the companys interest in their actions. This employee has in the last few hours been identified as a loose cannon. (I would not call them or anything just yet. See what they say. My $0.01, not even $0.02, because it is such unsolicited advice to electronic hearsay) I learn alot from MDC!
post #27 of 60
I'd like to think I'd of stood up to her like you did, I probably wouldn't have though. Isn't that sad? I think I would have found that whole situation intimidating and just left and never gone back. I wish I had the gumption you do...at least you told here what was what.

I've never had someone do that to one of my children although there have been plenty of times it could have happened. I did get thanked (sincerely) once for for removing my child who was raising a ruckus in a store.

I just can't believe that someone, a stranger, would touch your child. : That's pretty ballsey.
post #28 of 60
Wow. I'm so impressed that you were able to say anything to her. Good for you! Did you manage to get her name, too? I always forget to ask for people's names!
post #29 of 60
[QUOTE=Gremco;9610333] Children are just that, children. They often do not realize they have over stepped their bounds and a gentle reminder is all it takes.QUOTE]
Handling a dispaly is not stepping over bounds is it?
I handle stuff I like and consider buying everytime I go out. Dd always does too, she is 5.
No one has ever said anything to dd or I about it.

I am glad you stood up for your child. That was wrong of that salesperson to interfere at all.
I like the response you got though!
post #30 of 60
Quote:
Okay ladies, is it just me or does attacking the saleslady seem a little much? I can understand anger and letters to the company, but violence? I thought returning hurt for hurt never got anyone anywhere.
Yeah, I'm really uncomforatble with some of these reactions. Apparently being gentle only extends to our own children.

This is a really good reason to keep an eye on our kids in stores. If you don't appear to be doing it, you open the door for someone to do it for you. It may not be right, but clearly it happens. I'd way rather keep my own child close and help her investigate things than have some stranger do it for me.
post #31 of 60
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
Yeah, I'm really uncomforatble with some of these reactions. Apparently being gentle only extends to our own children.

This is a really good reason to keep an eye on our kids in stores. If you don't appear to be doing it, you open the door for someone to do it for you. It may not be right, but clearly it happens. I'd way rather keep my own child close and help her investigate things than have some stranger do it for me.
Well in this case he was right next to me.

I think some of the mamas are just saying what their initial instinct is. Not that they would follow through with violence.
post #32 of 60
I think everyones reaction was a little overboard. It is fine to tell her that she may not talk to your child that way or to touch him. it is fine to tell her if she has a problem with you she needs to take it up with you. it is fine to never shop there again. it is fine to contact corporate. But to threaten violence or legal action? a bit much in my opinion.

You said she as young. You said you weren't watching your small child and he was messing with stuff. I can see how this could be very stressful for the sales lady. worst case scenario is not him breaking something that the store has to take a loss on (and no, insurance does not cover stuff broken in our store. we throw it in the garbage and take full loss on it. and breaking isn't the only way to ruin merchandise.). worst case is him dropping someting, breaking something, or pulling a shelf down or over on him and hurting himself. which you would no doubt sue the store over.
post #33 of 60
Quote:
I think some of the mamas are just saying what their initial instinct is. Not that they would follow through with violence.
I understand, I'm not worried that the sales lady needs to be warned that several pitchfork-bearing mommas are heading her way It's just...it's very uncomfortable language and not very funny. Trust me, I've been in retail. People DO get violent (even in the nice neighborhoods, even if you're a nice sales person), make threats, throw things, and try to put their hands on you. So...you know, just not cool.
post #34 of 60
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
I think everyones reaction was a little overboard. It is fine to tell her that she may not talk to your child that way or to touch him. it is fine to tell her if she has a problem with you she needs to take it up with you. it is fine to never shop there again. it is fine to contact corporate. But to threaten violence or legal action? a bit much in my opinion.

You said she as young. You said you weren't watching your small child and he was messing with stuff. I can see how this could be very stressful for the sales lady. worst case scenario is not him breaking something that the store has to take a loss on (and no, insurance does not cover stuff broken in our store. we throw it in the garbage and take full loss on it. and breaking isn't the only way to ruin merchandise.). worst case is him dropping someting, breaking something, or pulling a shelf down or over on him and hurting himself. which you would no doubt sue the store over.
Honestly you weren't there so you are doing a bit of assuming of the situation. He wasn't "messing with things" There was a candle holder shaped like train that he was looking at for a while and then picked up, probably to show to me. I was standing right next to him. He wasn't in any sort of position of danger. There were no shelves to pull on top of himself. People should not be putting their hands on other people period, regardless of age. Luckily we have laws to protect us against people who do, regardless of whether you feel that is overboard. Where do you draw the line? How violent should someone get before the police are called?
post #35 of 60
Quote:
Luckily we have laws to protect us against people who do, regardless of whether you feel that is overboard. Where do you draw the line? How violent should someone get before the police are called?
Honestly? This wasn't violent, but it was obnoxious. I don't think it's anywhere near a "call the police" situation.

I think you handled it exactly right.
post #36 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gremco View Post
Okay ladies, is it just me or does attacking the saleslady seem a little much? I can understand anger and letters to the company, but violence? I thought returning hurt for hurt never got anyone anywhere.
I was wondering that too.

Quote:
But to threaten violence or legal action? a bit much in my opinion.
Not threatening violence I can see, but I'm glad the OP is pursuing this with the company. The employee was totally out of line grabbing her son. She (likely) would never have done the same to an adult.
post #37 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post

You said she as young. You said you weren't watching your small child and he was messing with stuff. I can see how this could be very stressful for the sales lady.
No, she said she didn't have her eyes on him every second. I don't know about you but I can easily know exactly what my two year old is doing even with my back turned. If she is right next to me, even if I am looking at merchandise, I am "watching" her.

Also, every parent knows what their child is capable of. Mine is perfectly capable of handling breakable items in a store and putting them back on a shelf intact. I let her "shop" and she has never broken anything.

I have seen plenty of adults break things in stores though. In fact the other day I fell over a display and knocked over a bunch of things sans toddler.
post #38 of 60
Quote:
Not threatening violence I can see, but I'm glad the OP is pursuing this with the company. The employee was totally out of line grabbing her son. She (likely) would never have done the same to an adult.
I have worked in several major retail chains (only two geared towards children) and in all of my training, "never, ever under any circumstances or in any way touch a child" always comes up. ALWAYS. So this person will be at least written up.
post #39 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
Where do you draw the line? How violent should someone get before the police are called?

Honestly? For me, I would have picked up my dc, and called the police right then and there. Or, at the very least, walked over to mall security and gotten someone to walk back over to the store with me. Yes it woudl have made a production and a scene, but I woudl want dd to know that someone being physically rough like that is NOT ok and we dont stand for it. I woudl want the sales person to know that you dont touch someone else's kid, ever, period.

TO the OP... I think you handled it perfectly. I too am impressed by how articulate you were with mama protective instincts flairing. I doubt I woudl have been! I am so sorry for your ds, it sounded like he was scared by the way she treated him and I hope he is doing ok. How was he after you left the store?
post #40 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka View Post
I think everyones reaction was a little overboard. It is fine to tell her that she may not talk to your child that way or to touch him. it is fine to tell her if she has a problem with you she needs to take it up with you. it is fine to never shop there again. it is fine to contact corporate. But to threaten violence or legal action? a bit much in my opinion.

You said she as young. You said you weren't watching your small child and he was messing with stuff. I can see how this could be very stressful for the sales lady. worst case scenario is not him breaking something that the store has to take a loss on (and no, insurance does not cover stuff broken in our store. we throw it in the garbage and take full loss on it. and breaking isn't the only way to ruin merchandise.). worst case is him dropping someting, breaking something, or pulling a shelf down or over on him and hurting himself. which you would no doubt sue the store over.
ITA.

I think that the woman was completely out of line. However, I can see how it can be stressful for a salesperson when a small child is handling things, especially when there are a lot of breakables. I used to work at Bath and Body Works, and I can't tell you how often we had kids who's parents said that their little ones were "just looking at things" who broke things, or moved them to places where they shouldn't have been. We used to burn candles in our store, and one day a small child who was handling things ended up pulling down an entire display -- with lots of breakables and burning candles -- on top of himself.

I realize that everyone's comfort level is different for this kind of thing. Some people are ok with kids touching stuff in stores, and some are not. Personally, I am not really down with kids handling breakables, but I would never respond the way that the woman did. A gentle reminder, or even an offer of something that he could handle would have sufficed.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › A saleswoman put her hands on my ds!!! Update post 16