promoting breastfeeding very gently...

[captain optimism]

I work for a non-profit. We provide a lot of different kinds of help, but one thing we do is to help teen moms with their parenting, and a big part of that is promoting breastfeeding. Okay, great. But if you look at our STAFF, we have a huge class divide. Staff members who were raised in affluent families breastfeed, staff members who were raised poor or working class use formula.

One of the nicest people who works here, who used to be a childcare teacher and is now working in an administrative office, is expecting her second. She is very experienced in caring for children. (And she's really caring and good at it, I have seen her with children and she's great!) But she told me today that she gave her first child solids when he was four weeks old because formula didn't seem to satisfy him : and that her doctor said that was fine . (She knew this would disturb me though, since I had just told her that I just started my baby eating solids at six months...)

She's a great mom in most ways, but why didn't she breastfeed? I don't want to lay a big trip on her, and we don't have the nice IBLC lactation consultant on staff anymore. She knows I breastfeed because I'm totally open about it.

Maybe I can talk about my grantwriting when she's around and spout off a few reasons why we promote breastfeeding? we aren't close but I really like her and I know that it would be great for her to experience this good thing. Any ideas?

[BowenTherapist]

who knows whatever reason she didn't bf her first...it's not too late for her to bf the second
maybe saying that to you was a way of reaching out to a bf'ing mama she knows. you could always talk to her about how you wish mamas knew that after the 3-6 week learning curve bfing iis soo much easier than abm feeding
maybe ask her to be a sounding board fpor the grant. and talk about the benifits of bf'ing.

you could always lend her a sears book, like the baby book (i think it talks about bf'ing...didn't read it) or maybe the 25 things every new mom should know by martha sears.

[kama'aina mama]

Tough one. nak

Perhaps you can sit down with her one day and just politely say "Hey, we've discussed a few parenting issues before and I would really like to pick your brain. You know part of my job here is to encourage our clients to breastfeed. I am curious what your thought process was in choosing how to feed your DD/DS?" I would avoid saying anything like 'not breastfeeding' to her because that is going to sound judgemental. Now... andthis is the hard part. Listen to her answers, clarify as seems appropriate with specific questions, ('Okay, and how many hrs/week when you returned to work?' etc...) Then thank her for her time and assistance and walk away.

If you try to correct her you will be treating her like a client rather than a respected co-worker who is helping you out. Just let it be after that. My guess is that at some point she will come to you with questions and interest. You will have helped her do that by opening the topic between you in a non-threatening way. Good luck!

[jackson's mama]

I would definitely try to find out why she didn't bf before sprinkling your conversations with helpful tips. She may have a valid reason, and might take your comments offensively. Just a thought .

[captain optimism]

Originally posted by kama'aina mama
"You know part of my job here is to encourage our clients to breastfeed."

I wish! Then I would know how to do it!

Actually, my entire job is to write things that raise money. I don't even do direct asks, beyond occasionally calling foundations and blurting out awkward gaucheries at them...

There are other folks who promote breastfeeding who are direct service providers. They are very cool, but they all eat lunch together to be mutually supportive so we non-direct service people don't socialize with them all the time. (Sometimes I sit with them just because they are more accepting of the kind of parenting I'm doing than the other admin. folks.)

I'll just keep having little chats with this nice woman when I see her and maybe eventually I'll ask her if she might try bfing with this one now that she works in the offices and could potentially have breaks to pump. I don't want to pressure her or make her feel bad, but I do want to let her know how incredibly supportive our workplace is when you bf. It's a tough balance. Kind of like when you have a coworker who smokes, except that I think smoking is about 8000X worse than formula...

One of my other coworkers was totally open that she really couldn't bf because of some weird anomaly her doctor said she has--no milk? I really wonder about that. She has actually expressed envy of me because...formula is so expensive and I'm saving money this way!

[mocha09]

Class divide

I know there is a stigma among many poor/working class communities (the one I grew up in included) about breastfeeding because when formula use was at its peak, it used to be that women only breastfed if they couldn't afford formula. So breastfeeding became a symbol of sorts for poverty/low living, and for many people from these communities, that stigma is still strong.

Perhaps attitudes will change when people of all classes see women of all classes (not just Lula Mae) breastfeeding.