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Do you ever feel like "Attachment Parenting" is misnamed? - Page 2

post #21 of 30
Originally Posted by anubis View Post
Labels have a tendency to turn people off. Personally, I find the term "attachment parenting" overly twee, and I'm glad I read about the principles before I learned the term.
I totally agree.

Even though we do/did many things on the "AP" checklist, I would never, ever describe my parenting as "AP" when talking to someone else. First of all, not everyone knows what it means (particularly those without kids), but more importantly, I think it's an annoying, condescending label that implies that anyone who doesn't follow a particular set of rules is somehow not attached (or imperfectly attached) to their child.

Now, there are people who believe exactly that, but I'm not one of them.
post #22 of 30
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
What's PP?

In answer to your question: I've heard some parents say they follow the Ezzo's Babywise. Others "Ferberize" their babies.

I guess you're right that most of us don't go around "labeling" ourselves. I think the terms can be useful, though, in helping someone get connected to a wealth of information.

For instance, it was at my second LLL meeting, when my oldest was 6 weeks old, that a friend said after watching me with dd, that she thought I'd really love Attachment Parenting and to look it up on the internet 'cause I'd find a ton of stuff that would explain it better than she could in our limited time. I'm so glad she turned me on to it!
PP is Playful Parenting, which might be more of a parenting tool than a philosophy (I'm not too familiar with it, so don't quote me on any of that I'm sure someone who knows more about it can explain it better than me).

I do see where using the term might come in handy, but I'm also fairly sure that most of the people I know would just roll their eyes at me if I were to use it in their presence. I guess it's a case of knowing your audience and putting it in a way that the people you're talking to find appealing.

Ah, and of course there's the Ferberizers and the Ezzo lot, I completely forgot about that. I must say, though, that around here (UK) those terms are also pretty much unheard of. That's probably why the thought of calling myself AP or whatever seems a bit uncomfortable to me. It's a shame in a way, because it would be nice to have a simple way of describing your parenting beliefs. But in a way, it's also a blessing that people don't seem to subscribe to a set of rules as strictly and might sometimes be more open to different suggestions.
post #23 of 30
Mindful parenting, responsive parenting, continuum concept parenting, natural, crunchy.... No matter what term you use, it isn't going to fit perfectly, and it is going to be a stereotype, because you can only have a few words. I mean, in a discussion, if asked, you can't always answer with a paragraph of explanations, so you have to streamline it, and an unfortunate side effect of this will be some stereotyping.

I think the question to ask is: does anyone here refer to themselves as mainstream?

Do mainstream people refer to themselves as mainstream? The ones to the right of us, and to the left of Ezzo. I doubt it.

And who is left of us? And then we come into the whole stereotyping thing again, as I sit here and type "us" and "them." This is tough!

I personally don't mind the term attachment parenting, but I also don't really use it. Because I don't fit the mold, probably not even half of it. If asked, I often say I am crunchy. People get that - sort of granola, natural, tree hugging. And I'm not even that crunchy - for example, I don't cloth diaper. But I am natural in the way I react with my children - I read their cues, their needs, and go from there, not from some book that says I should do X, or my DC should walk at Y age or eat so much of Z food.
post #24 of 30
MIL loves to be mainstream. She is so go-along-with-the-crowd that it is amazing.

One day she was on her way home from work when she realized a candle-light vigil had started: all the neighbors had put a lit candle on their front steps. She ran home and lit a candle and put it out there, and then breathed a sigh of relief. And she had no clue what the candle was for!

She bought me a specific model of stroller, not the small one I had wanted because I could fold it and put it away, because that is what she saw everyone in central park using with THEIR babies. Even folded, this monster is huge. I can't put it away anywhere. It sits like a piece of furniture. It is only used by the cat as a place to sleep.
post #25 of 30
Allison, why the left-right scale?
post #26 of 30
Originally Posted by Lady Lilya View Post
Allison, why the left-right scale?
I dunno. Maybe because there are elections here and I'm in a political mood. It was just to try to explain mainstream in the middle (hence mainstream) with other methods overlapping, but out of the sides, so you may have AP / NFL on one side, touching mainstream, and Ezzo on the other, also touching mainstream, but because they are opposite sides, Ezzo and AP / NFL don't touch much.
post #27 of 30
Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post
I think the question to ask is: does anyone here refer to themselves as mainstream?
See my siggy!
post #28 of 30
Interesting which side you chose for AP
post #29 of 30
I really don't care for labels, since there are few things I can follow a checklist down and say I do everything. Especially when it comes to working with people, one size doesn't fit all. I do know a lot of the things I believe in fall in with AP, I don't believe in anything vehemently opposed to it, but there is that wonderful grey area which occupies pretty much all of life as I know it and I can't be black and white. I can't even tolerate too many people who think in black and white and tend to tune them out.

I don't know whether it's just the group of people I've managed to come across, but most people I know are pretty much on the same page of parenting. Responding to our kids physical and emotional needs asap, nursing, no hitting or yelling, slinging, etc. Maybe a lot of parenting philosophies that people have here are more mainstream in various areas than they think.
post #30 of 30
Originally Posted by darsmama View Post
I honestly despise "AP". I don't even use the initials any more. I figure people who understand how important it is to be reponsive and attached to your child will understand why I co-sleep or whatever, and so why give it an 'exclusive' name?

Attachment parent just sounds soooo...smug to me.
It always has.
Good point. I have seen the phrase "gentle parenting" and I like that better. I know parents who BF (even EBF), use cloth diapers, are fairly crunchy etc., don't spank BUT are not particularly gentle with their kids.

I also know plenty of "mainstream" parents who are very gentle with their kids and very respectful in how they treat them.
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