Your mother is with you, and with your babe, in a way that is more complete and more beautiful than you can imagine. What people wrote about both of them being in both worlds--that's true. They are.
I believe your mother is with you to help you guide this baby into the world. You seem to believe that, too. Is it possible, though, that her way of guiding the baby into the world may not be as you pictured? That perhaps this timing, while incredibly sad, is the way in which both of them needed to meet and to guide each other? Whether your mother guides your baby into your arms, and into life, by a physical presence, a spiritual presence, or something in between, I believe that the way it happens is the way they (your mother and your baby) need it to be. They both need guidance, and a birth, and perhaps they're guiding each other between these new phases of life.
My mother passed, very suddenly, three years ago. She was 57 and in the prime of life. For years her loss has been a deep, sad, painful place for me. I've learned to move on, and be happy, but I never felt at peace with her loss. I never saw any good reason why she should be gone and not with us.
Then my son died a month or so ago, and now (this probably sounds strange), I'm actually glad my mother is dead. There's no one else in heaven or on earth that I would rather care for my James, and the comfort it gives me that SHE'S the one caring for him, that he's not alone as he starts this new, long, unknown part of life, is such peace. I feel so much uncertianty about his death, and about where or what he is now, but I have a comfort thats miles deep knowing my mother is with him.
I'm not suggesting anything will happen to your baby.
That isn't the point of this at all....I hope you understand. What I'm saying is that your mother will guide your child into your arms, safely, in the form (physical or spiritual) that both she and your baby need. Your baby and your mother will be safe in each others' hands. And there's something beautiful, really, that their spirits will be so close and so tied to one another.
I know you wish the beauty of your child's birth, and of your mother's remaining time, could be the way you want it. I really, really, really hope it is. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts.