Nervous for my 5 year old (re: outside activity)

[CortLong]

This is going to sound dumb, but I'm going to get it off my chest.....

My 5 year old (will be 6 in December) has never been in school. Most of the children her age have gone to preschool and the like and now are in Kindergarten. I have NO REGRETS about homeschooling her- she is very advanced academically and is pretty advanced socially. She is outgoing and has a very caring heart. So.....

She has been wanting to do Daisy Girl Scouts (in addition to her piano lessons) for a while- so finally I gave in and told her I'd check it out. There is a local troop at the public elementary school (actually meets in the civic center in front of the school) every Tuesday from 2:25 (when they let out of school) until 4pm. The biggest issue I have is that she'd be with a bunch of girls from the same school. She'd be the only 'different' one. Now I know it's my job to teach her that different is ok, but are Kindergarteners going to be 'cliquey' (is that even a word? but you know what I mean)

DH says not to worry- that she'll be fine- but I'm afraid since they all go to school together she'll feel left out. I talked to her about it and she says she doesn't care. I've looked into other troops and the only one that is a 'mixed' troop meets at a time that isn't even an option for us.

Tell me to stop worrying, stop being so protective and let her do it! (or tell me the truth if it's different than that!)

[moonshoes]

well, I can't tell you what to do because I have the same issue with my DD. She is 6 and I know she would love girl scouts but I am afraid she will be excluded and/or subjected to cliquey meanness, KWIM?

it sounds like your daughter would be fine though....I don't know, I think I will let her try it and see what she thinks.

[mom2ponygirl]

I'll give you some advice stolen from David Albert. He used it in regards to music lessons. Set a time period, not too long in case the girls are awful but long enough to connect with someone - maybe 6 weeks to 3 months? When the trial period is over, if your daughter is not happy in this group, you can celebrate the end of your trial and moving on to a new chapter. If she is doing fine you can set another, longer time period and celebrate moving on to the longer committment. My guess is that she will be fine. There may be a few in that age group who wish to pick on anyone different, but if she is fairly confident that will get old fast. If she confidently speaks of her homeschool experiences when asked, she will probably hear more about how lucky she is rather than how different.

My daughter has regularly taken dance and tumbling, and writing camp with all ps kids and been just fine. Sometimes she connects with a friend, but even if she doesn't she has still enjoyed the class and wished to continue. I say let her try!

[carmel23]

I would also give it some time if she complains about a certain child... My son used to complain so much about a particular girl that I though they didn't get along... turns out they were best buds and he would complain about her because they were hanging out with each other so much!

Also, one day they are friends, the next they are not--I guess this is how they learn about friendship and how to keep it going.

Have fun

[Astromom]

Originally Posted by CortLong

but are Kindergarteners going to be 'cliquey'

In my observations, they certainly (and surprisingly) can be. However, I think you should go ahead and give it a try, and I bet it will turn out fine.

Does the school have multiple K classes? If so, even though the girls are from the same school maybe they won't all know each other.

[WuWei]

Could you start a Daisy Scouts for homeschoolers?


Pat

[Dana Hoffman]

Originally Posted by WuWei

Could you start a Daisy Scouts for homeschoolers?


Pat

That's what I was going to suggest. My 15 yo daughter did just what you worried about at 5--joined a daisy gs group at the local school, and she ended up in tears nearly every week, because the girls wouldn't pick her for games or teams, and the leader had them play games that they knew from school, and she wouldn't take the time to explain it to my daughter, so she was constantly left out. I have since found that, at least where we are, there are usually homeschol groups for most activites--4H, scouting, baseball teams, etc. And if you can't find one...Start your own!

Dana
Unschooling mama to Lauren, 15, Otto, 9.5, and new little one due in May!

[taradt]

My 5 year old just started Sparks (the youngest girl guide age in Canada) and she is having fun. It is a small group and she is fitting right in (she is very quick to make friends). The leaders know she is homeschooled and that this is her first experience away from me and have gone out of their way to make it pleasant for her

[zeldamomma]

Last year my older dd was in a Daisy troop with non-homeschoolers and it was fine. There's a nice homeschooler brownie troop in our area and she's switched to that troop this year. The girls didn't seem to care at all that she was a homeschooler. The other girls weren't all in the same class, and I imagine that helped. Sometimes I felt like the leader treated her a little differently, but my dd never noticed.

This year my younger dd is in Daisies. I wanted to start a homeschooler troop, but there wasn't enough interest, so she's in a troop with traditionally schooled girls. The only glitch so far was when the leader asked each of the girls to give her name and her teacher's name, and my little girl burst into tears when it was her turn because she couldn't figure out which teacher she was supposed to name (dance, Sunday School, homeschool gym...). : She bounced back fairly quickly though.

ZM

[FroNuff]

I am sorry that you've been worrying about this, but I'm glad because someone shares a similar worry as me! My DD is 5 and I've been wanting to sign her up for Daisy scouts, but have not found a troop yet. Initially, I wanted to find a homeschool only troop for her, but the ones I've found are really far away from us. I've given up and going to try to find a school-based one, but I'm nervous about how it will go for similar reasons as the OP.

I say sign your DD up and just carefully watch how things work out. I hope it's a positive experience for both of you! Can you please come back and post how it turns out.

[Linda on the move]

My DDs are 9 and 11, but were in school based GS/Daisey troops at that age. It worked out fine. The kids were in different classes at school and leader was great about helping the kids mix (so that they didn't just hang out with the same kids they did while they were at school). It takes a while to build friendships, though. Even if it is *working out,* it may take a few months before it feels relaxed and comfortable. The turning point for my then 5 year old was the Christmas Pizza Party.

We moved away and left those troops. Our next city had a homeschool GS troops for each level, and they turned out to be a nighmare.

How well a troop works is mostly determined by the leader. Their are great troops, and crappy troops.

Scouting, for the most part, appeals to families who value their children being kind and well rounded.

[Mary-Beth]

Your child wants to try so let her.

You won't know how this group of kids works out until you try. So go ahead and see if it's fun and what your dd wants!

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by Mary-Beth

Your child wants to try so let her.

You won't know how this group of kids works out until you try. So go ahead and see if it's fun and what your dd wants!

:

my dd is 6 and also has never been to any kind of preschool or school, but i'd let her try it if she wanted (in fact she was in daisies last year, but the troop leader was my best friend - so i wasn't too worried ) if it totally stinks, she doesn't have to ever go back, ykwim? they will probably even let her visit for the first time free.

my dd tries new things a lot and sometimes it's a bad experience & sometimes it's wonderful. she took ballet a couple of months ago and really hated it! it was the longest hour of her life i'm sure, but when class dismissed & she shared her thoughts..... i just hugged her and sympathized with her disappointment (i.e. she thought it would be fun and it wasn't). she never went back, and now we'll start piano this month. sometimes you never know unless you try hugs mama.

[UUMom]

My 8 yr old has never attended school, and has taken sailing lessons, summer camp art programs and does town soccer. She loves it all. She also participates in hsing activities, and we acutually had more issues with that group (no diversity, fewer interests are shared, the kids have known each other for years etc) than the outside group.

My dd is extremely intelligent and sensitive, and it's all worked out quite well. Wer handle issues as they arrise and my hsers are very self-assured and confident. The sometimes petty behavior of their friends (hs'd and not) doesn't phase them. Every child is going to face insensitivity and every child will at some point seem insensitive to another. (Fi, my dd does not like to play with certain children and I have been told that one child in particular had hurt feelings over a playdate we passed up (as gently and kindly as we could).

Our children do not need every moment of their lives to be perfect, and we do our kids a big disservice when we micromanage every nuanced child interaction, or blow imperfect interaction issues totally out of proportion. There is a difference between feeding our children to the lions, and letting them experience basic normal child development. Ime of hsing, even hs'd kids have 'normal' issues of not sharing, being a little exclusive at times, not wanting to play with everyone all the time etc.

[CortLong]

Thanks for all the support. Sometimes it's just nice to know that others might feel the same way you do.

I spoke with the troop leader this morning. Morgan will attend her first meeting tommorow afternoon. She is thrilled, so I'll let you guys know how it goes.

[yarngoddess]

When I was in Girl Scouts we had a few homeschool kids, and it was never a problem. The kids all go to the same school... but maybe not the same class. This can be a BIG difference in the elementary grades. If they were all from the same class, then maybe you should be concerned- but not overly so. Talk to the troop leader and stay close by- and tell DD that if she feels uncomfortable at any time that you will come get her. Give her a cell phone if that makes YOU feel better.