Doulas/Midwives..childcare solutions?

[AmieV]

I am hoping to take my first doula clients at the beginning of the year. I have 2 small children, at that point they will be almost 3 and 18 months. They go to mother's day out twice a week from 9-12 but that's the only childcare I have arranged thusfar. My husband can take a few hours off here and there but he has client meetings and things that can't be cancelled.

So, I have a few questions. For the doulas, how long are you typically at a birth? I know that is going to vary widely depending on the birth but do you commit to early labor and beyond, or mainly just active labor? Two, what have you done for childcare since it's not a guaranteed scheduled time? I am planning on only taking a couple of births a month intially. My SIL is an option, sort of...but she lives far from town so with dropping them off it would be 1.5 hours before being able to get there. My best option appears to be asking some of my SAH mom friends but they all have little kids of their own so I wonder how good of an option that is.

I guess I figure I can't be the first person to be in this situation so I wanted to see what creative solutions others had come up with!

[happyartmama]

I tried friends/family arrangements for several months but it always left me anxious since it wasn't a SET arrangment...most of the time it worked out, but then I had one birth where one person worked, another was on vacation, another wwas sick, etc. etc. and I was feeling panicky like how in the world am I going to make this work (and the couple was expecting to call back in a couple hours and ask me to join them).

That situation finally worked out, but after that I posted on a local moms board for occassional childcare needed. I described my situation excalty, that it could be twice a month for just a couple hours or possibly all day if mom went into labor overnight, and that I was looking for someone who already watched other children (so I could count on her being available) and who wasn't looking for full-time or even regular part-time work ((more like "bonus" or "dinner out" kind of money.

It took a little while because I didn't want a large day-care type place, but I finally found a mom who has two children similar age to mine, and who watches one other child. She's been great--available last minute, I really trust her, she's nopt watching ten kids at once, and I pay her well enough that she finds it worthwhile to do this sporadic arrangement. Hope that helps!

[Contented73]

I basically have the same arrangement as the PP. There is a woman in my neighborhood who has an in-home daycare. She does have a full load of kids (flexible schedule though with some part-timers) but she has agreed to take my kids on call. I really like her, and she has never ever said no. I do feel that I pay her well ($10/hour for my two kids) so hopefully she finds it to be good extra cash. I also have it set up that the kids go there for a few hours/week whether or not I have a birth; that way they all feel comfortable together and know each other for those times that the kids need to be there all day.

Then, for the occassional nights and weekends that my DH is out of town or unavailable, I have some relatives on stand by just in case.

Like the PP, it was very very stressful for me before I had a "set" situation lined up. I think what I have now is very good, although I still have those moments of wondering -- will the next time be the time that my daycare can't take the kids? Or DH will go out after work and forget to take his phone with him? As a back-up, I do have some SAHM friends who have said they'd help "in a pinch." For that, it's always good to just randomly offer to take their little ones for playdates and such, so that you have some trade hours stored up with them in advance and you won't feel so bad for asking if you need to.

[MidwifeErika]

I have done the paperwork for the drop-in care centers here. The kids go often when I am going to prenatals and such, so they are comfortable. The older two can go without me making a reservation, but until July when the youngest turns 2, I still have to call ahead to see if there is room for her. I also put an ad on craigslist and collected a few names of moms who are at home or watch a child or two who wouldn't mind me calling them (explained exactly my situation in the ad). I also have a good friend who had a baby today!!!!... she is planning on staying at home and I am sure I could call her in a pinch. Last resort is calling my dh home from work. Almost all births have happened in the evening/night for me so far, so that has actually worked out really, really well for childcare! (watch though, since I posted this now all the next women will have day labors!)

[iemaja]

I don't have children yet, and I often wonder how this will work. To answer your question about how long doulas are at births, I tell clients that I will come to them when I have been invited into the birthing experience and when I can be actively involved in the labor. So if it's early labor and they need to rest/relax/sleep then I will be doing the same at home.

[Peppamint]

This is a good thread to read... it gives me some ideas.

So far my mom is my daytime childcare and dh is the evening weekend and it's been fine for the eight births I've gone to. I'd like to have more backup but dh and I are really picky about childcare and haven't left our kids with anyone but family before. We are homeschooling and as we get to know more HS families, I'm wondering if we might find a teenager who would like to be backup childcare.

I have a dear friend who does childcare in her home but she is 40 minutes north of me so using her is only feasible if I'm going to a birth in that county/in that direction otherwise it could take me 2 hours to get to a birth 45 minutes away from me .

The kids want a smiley:

[MidwifeErika]

Oh, and to answer the how long question.... that really varies a great deal. I have never been gone for less than 6 hours. Usually I plan on being gone for about 14 hours.... 12 hours for labor or so plus about 2 hours of postpartum time. Now, obviously it could end up being a whole lot longer or a whole lot shorter, but I figure that is a nice middle number to keep in mind.

[vegemamato]

I am a sahm with two kids (3 and 6, with another due in Feb) and I have been nannying for a doula throughout my pregnancy. We met on craigslist and have had a wonderful relationship! We communicate often and her family is the only one that I am currently working with (I did provide in-home childcare prior to becoming pregnant but decided to take a break for a while). I need the extra income and she needs someone to be with her toddler two days a week and an oncall provider. Sometimes she drops her kids (2 and 5) off at my house and sometimes I go to her place, depending on what works best for everyone. There have been 3am calls but we always seem to work it out.. Also, the births have lasted anywhere from 3 hours to 2 1/2 days, which is hard on her kids but I bring one or two of my dc, along with art supplies, stories, games, et cetera to keep everyone busy. I really love working for her and I feel like we have a special bond (being mama's and lovin the babes!) Anyway, I hope you find someone.. Hopefully a mama nearby!

Good Luck,
Sara

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Also, I think that it is very important to create a bond between your dc and their new nanny/sitter before leaving them for an extended amount of time (such as one or two days per week of care) to help the kids feel comfortable and to make sure that you are happy with the situation. (get to know ANYONE who will be staying with them, including husbands, other kids, et cetera) Good luck!

[Contented73]

Sara -- the kind of arrangement you have sounds just wonderful, very much like something I would want to set up. Can I ask how you are paid? Do you just have a set per week or month fee, or do you go by the hour? When I've thought of a situation like this, I've wondered if the nanny would feel like it was worth it, or if it would be a problem because the money wasn't consistant, or something like that. If you get paid hourly, does it become a problem for you that it isn't a reliable paycheck each week?

Sorry if I'm digging too deep here -- obviously don't answer if you'd rather not discuss!

[Defenestrator]

I overpay my childcare provider, relative to what other parents have paid her in the past (she is worth every cent, though) and try to provide her with a set minimum number of hours a week. As a midwife, I have more prenatal hours to cover than a doula would (though I do doula work too -- most of the visits for those clients are at night), but when I'm not busy it is nice to have a little free time to grocery shop or do chores around the house.

She's a SAHM with two kids in my neighborhood. She isn't available 24/7 -- she goes away for a lot of long weekends, but having Tues-Thurs covered means that I only have to get backup for Monday and Friday. That is pretty easy to do -- I usually put one friend on call for each when births seem imminent.

As a homebirth midwife I am usually at the house for about 8-12 hours, as a doula it can be up to 24 hours.

[vegemamato]

Originally Posted by Contented73

Sara -- the kind of arrangement you have sounds just wonderful, very much like something I would want to set up. Can I ask how you are paid? Do you just have a set per week or month fee, or do you go by the hour? When I've thought of a situation like this, I've wondered if the nanny would feel like it was worth it, or if it would be a problem because the money wasn't consistant, or something like that. If you get paid hourly, does it become a problem for you that it isn't a reliable paycheck each week?

Sorry if I'm digging too deep here -- obviously don't answer if you'd rather not discuss!

Oh, you're not digging too much

For this woman I charge $5/hour/child during the day and $20 for sleeping hours (rather than an hourly fee when I'm sleeping too). For other families that I occasionally nanny for (which I'm not really doing right now) I charge between $7-$10 dollars per hour/child. So far, the pay has worked for us although we are moving next June and I am planning on providing either full time care for one child or part time care for two (depending on what would work best with two homeschooling/co-op kids and a new baby (and dp starting law school!). For now though, I am perfectly happy with our current arrangement. I think mama's who are looking to provide occasional care are the best way to go, then you won't have someone who is trying to fill 'spots', instead you have someone who is invested in providing a family-style environment and is, hopefully, happy to not have a full schedule.

Sara

[Contented73]

You're not moving to DC by any chance? You're exactly the kind of person I'm looking for!

I guess the hardest thing for me is the networking and finding the right fit. At least you've given me an ideal to shoot for. Though I do like my current daycare provider, it would be so nice to have someone who was truly on call for me anytime, and who would be willing to come to my house if necessary.