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TTC #1 in Our 30's Thread-NOVEMBER - Page 2

post #21 of 224
Thread Starter 
Laura.... Feel better okay? I know how you feel when you feel that it's your month and then AF comes with a vengence. It's like the wind gets taken out of your sails. I agree that if you plan on doing the Fertell test, CD3 is the day after tomorrow so I'd go and get it. Do you have a CVS in your area? They sell them there. So take it easy and I hope that you continue to dream big.

I just wanted to thank everyone for your well wishes for this month. I'll definitely take triple threadkeepers luck because I think that I needed to get some more since the first time I was threadkeeper didn't quite work for me.

As for DH's Fertell test, we still haven't taken it. Basically we've both been busy and DH insists on me helping him out in this area. Though I'm flattered and touched that he wants to share this intimate experience with me, I'm still feeling a bit tired of putting it off for another day. Also I wanted to make sure that DH's sperm were nice and awake so I told him that we should wait until the morning to take the test. Basically his job is to make with the semen and that's about it. You would think that would be easy, right? Well I hope that he's in a sexy mood tomorrow morning because like it or not he's going to have to make with the sample. I'm basically at the point where I'm like, "You either give it to me or I'll take it!!!!" Well I think that is it for now.

I'll talk to you all later. I hope that your evenings are going well.
post #22 of 224
Much to reply to here! First, Laura, I'm so sorry, no SOOOO sorry. It's awful to get AF and it's awful to get it during work. Hugs and more hugs to you.

Kemi, may the luck be with you! I hear you on the SA apprehension. Maybe those DHs can't quite admit but it must be very scary for them or potentially demasculating...not that we don't have to manage the lion's share of it all...but somehow this one's hard for them. Hope tomorrow is your day and all is well. An aside, you might want to get your estrogen checked on CD3 in concert with your FSH? As I understand, the relationship of these 2 together can be important. Just a thought.

Michelle, good to hear from you. You are in my thoughts and I hope that you get more comprehensive answers as you progress. I started reading the book about reproductive immunology: "Is Your Body Baby-Friendly" based on Dr. Alan Beer. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone but if you suspect any immune-suppressing factors (i know you mentioned lupus before), I think it could be worth a look.

Mischievuim, Really glad to hear that your OB appt. was validating for you and you feel good about the next steps to take. It's so important to feel like you have a clear and supportive plan. Much care to you.

Jencat, Happy that you're feeling a strong mama vibe. When this all takes a while, feelings about motherhood can swing around as well and I'm glad you're feeling positive and affectionate. But, yeesh, that 's a lot of work you're doing. Do something nice for yourself too--a massage or something.

Jem, I found it helpful to check my cervix position as a fertility sign. It rises and softens as you get close to O and then quickly lowers and becomes firmer afterward usually for the rest of the cycle. I wasn't comfortable with this at first, but then it kind of liberated me.

Aimee, Your program sounds wonderful. Healing yoga...the best. Lately I've been doing a lot of the Sarah Powers style of YinYoga, which supports opening the energy channels as in chinese medicine.

Well, I've had a up/down week so far. As I mentioned before, I had another migraine over the weekend that lasted for about 72 hours and then I looked over my charts and figured out that about 1/3 of the last few weeks have been consumed with headaches and that I can't live like this. So tomorrow I am going to my reg. doctor to field some theories around. Also, I met with OB Monday and we did an ultrasound to see if I have any cysts on my ovaries and she didn't see anything. She did see tons of swelling functional cysts that are eggs ready to release, at least 8 visible on one side. At times, she's thought I'm not ovulating based on the progest. but then she looks at my biphasic charts and all these follicles and says yes I am. She said we could do the HSG and the Clomid but that I should really see an RE, becuase my problems don't really add up. Low prog. usually indicates lack of O or is relfected in short LP but I don't have either of those things. : Of course NONE of this stuff is covered in my $250 health plan which I pay for myself. So DH and I decided last night to dip into our baby fund if we have to--it was for me to stay home the first year, but with no baby, what good is it? So that's where we're at. Still enjoying the good regular non-ttc sex though. What a challenging series of weeks.
post #23 of 224
Laura!! I DEFINITELY know that feeling of 'knowing' it's your month, and then *poof* nothing... Feel free to vent and rant all you want!

Kemi - Yeah, my DH was dragging his feet for a while on it too - I had to tell him - okay, we are doing this on this day - save up the swimmers, eh?? : good luck for you!!

- Wow, you got the whole shindig done!! Here's to hoping you won't make it to CD3!!

- I don't really have any O symptoms - I think I have o-pain, sometimes, but I'm never REALLY sure (Hrm, I need to note that pain last night). If you aren't checking CM, I don't know what else can give you a 'heads' up - nothing else happens consistently for me.
I've read that trying every day around your suspected O time is about the best - every other day if you are concerned about the amount and quality of sperm, as the day break gives the fellow a change to recharge, so to speak.

- Has it gotten colder recently? How'd the CM end up?

Jen - Oh, I so know what you mean about feeling more 'mommy-like' - I try to keep it in check, because otherwise it drives me insane, but sometimes I just wanna cuddle a wee person, ya know?

- I'm not sure how much you need - taking the recommended dosage on the bottle is most likely more than enough, though, I would hope.....

Where are you at in your cycle: CD28 - I think I'm about to O soon..
Appointments: Friday - my last accupunture appt for three weeks, as we're going out of town for Thanksgiving.....
Symptoms if they apply: Nada.
Testing: Nope - still avoiding the OPK's.....
Thoughts: *shrug* Coasting, really.

So, holidays are coming up, and that equals family time. We haven't told DH's family that we are TTC'ing, because - well, they're mean, basically. They get a certain 'thrill' out of watching DH fail (or predicting that he will fail, or claiming that he failed when he didn't *sigh*) and I don't want to give them any (more) ammunition for snide remarks & other BS.
Have ya'll shared amoung the families that you are TTC'ing? Any wise words of how to handle the 'Are ya'll next??' questions from family gracefully and evasively?
post #24 of 224
Thread Starter 
Michelle- Sorry about the abnormal pap. I hope that things get remedied soon so that things can come together for you.

Alright for the news that everybody has been waiting for. My DH may have some issues with his count. We barely got a line. It was so faint that we had to put it to the light to see it. So he will be calling his ND today to see what the next steps will be. Basically it will be a formal SA in an MDs office and then we'll see what else we can do to get things going. Basically, I'm not all that worried. In the instructions it said that stress can impact sperm count and quality and we've had it in spades in the last few months. Also it also said that no matter how faint the line, everything is normal, but we're just going to say that since we needed to turn on all the lights to see the line we need to see for real what is going on. Maybe they're sluggish, or maybe they can't get out of the semen goo stuff that comes with the sperm. I don't know. So basically, DH is off to get things done and I'm just going to stay with the Chinese medicine so that things stay optimal for me. I mean, really it only takes one sperm to get pregnant anyway. I'm sure that our BFP is right around the corner.

Anyways, I'm off to do other things for now. I hope that you all are having a wonderful day.
post #25 of 224
Kemi, on Fertell. I hope the health of the swimmers improves soon!

Kiya, I hear you on the family time holiday situation. My husband's brother, sister-in-law, and newborn nephew are coming to town this weekend to have their baby blessed, and I'm anticipating *a lot* of that same "So when are you two going to have a baby?" First of all, I think people who say that should be severely punished , because they have no idea how awful that can make people feel, or they once knew and have forgotten, and need to be reminded what psychic pain feels like. Oops, did I just say that?

We're not telling anyone that we're trying, and I'm determined that I'm not going to tell anyone if/when I get pregnant until it's just impossible to keep a secret anymore.

So here are some replies to the awful question (if, like me, you prefer not to tell the truth!):
  • We prefer to just borrow other people's children.
  • We can't afford to--we're saving for a boat.
  • We're not sure how to do it. Will you show us?
  • Oh, you know us--we're such free spirits! We can't settle down!
post #26 of 224
I LIKE the boat line!! That might work, too - some version of 'we can't afford to'..... now, how to get DH and his blabberlips on board.... *sigh* As much as he KNOWS his family - he still has hope, ya know? *sigh*

Yeah, I think the only people who will know IRL BEFORE I start showing are my really good friends, and my momma. We'll tell them once the baby is here. :
post #27 of 224
post #28 of 224
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Marywin View Post
Hi - can I join? I'm 39 and we're currently trying for number three. My last two were concived incredibly easy, but it's been an up hill battle trying to conceive the third. Next week will tell whether we've been successful (my gut instinct tells me AF will be visiting again). And it's getting mighty annoying when I have certain friends ask 'well you fell pregnant so easily with the first two, what's your problem?'

Honestly, some days I could just strangle these people!
Hello Marywin,

This is a thread for women in their 30's who are trying to conceive their very first baby. None of us have children at this point and quite a few of us have been having difficulties conceiving. It may be a better idea to join the ONE Thread where there are all sorts of mamas who have more than one baby and also those who are trying to conceive their first. None of us here can really understand how one can conceive easily and then have problems since quite a few of us are currently having issues. If you would like to give us some encouragement that would be good. I don't want to sound elitist or anything, but the ladies here are just getting started out of the gate. This is my second time being threadkeeper the first time it was back in April and the ladies who got BFPs are having their babies next month. I'm still here. Please feel free to make comments, but I don't think that we will understand your unique situation.


November Threadkeeper
post #29 of 224
Sorry Kemi - I'll edit my post. Thanks.

PS Sticky vibes to everyone on here and baby dust all around.
post #30 of 224
Hi everyone, just checking in...I'll be testing next week. DH just told me that we're trying my way for TTC for 3 months and if that doesn't work, we're going to try his way for 3 months. His way consists of having sex every day for a month. It's an admirable goal, but the very thought of it tires me out. =)
post #31 of 224

Kiya, great to have you back and glad you got finished with that awful AF and were able to have some

Kemi, I'm sorry the Fertell test wasn't 100% dark, but you're right. Given that you got preg. before and there is a faint line, this is a remedy-able thing for sure. You may want to look into the Stanford Fertility Blend (they have one for men too and is supposed to strengthen swimmers--what Kiya's DH takes I think?). I have heard DH having caffeine before DTD can help too...

Cupcake, LOVE your excuses. Funny I've been trying to plan some out to have ready to go as well. This is a tricky part of TTC but I like your creative approach! Any new stuff with DH and job?

Went to doctor today and she allayed some fears about why I'm having all these headaches...I think she got a kick out of me, but I wanted to leave "no stone unturned" yk? So maybe I don't have a tumor on my pituitary gland and so forth....probably just all the hormone imbalance. But people really better stop telling me to relax. With all the meditation, yoga, self-massage, I've never been so damn relaxed in my life!!!
(okay maybe i'm not 100% relaxed if i am fantasizing about all these horrible things being wrong...but still!)

Hugs y'all!
post #32 of 224
OK Ladies, well I went to CVS on my 3 hour return trip home from a conference holding my pee so tightly my eyes were yellow and got the fertell test. So, lastnight I read the instructions thoroughly, this morning rad the instructions thoroughly and held me tinkle from 5:11 am for fear I would fall back asleep and miss the hour window. So I pee on CD3. And guess what?!?!?! It was a dud! No control line, no test line! Nada! That freakin figures that the one dependent on such a small time frame wouldn't work for me. I am pretty sure I already did the FSH at the doctor's office though so I have a call into them for the actual numbers. (Just got off the phone with doc's office - FSH in September was 6.5 - pretty darn good!) One thing I don't like about that office is he gives me a yeah or na and not specifics. I WANT SPECIFICS! Anyways, maybe DH will be more willing to do a SA now that it is at home. He was going to bring in a microscope from the school where he teaches and look... geesh, just because he has a science degree, and despite his perception, HE DOESN"T KNOW IT ALL!!! Today is his 39th b-day, I'll be gentle! Anways, they are sending me a new test (ought to for $100).

Poet - Ahhhh, I too was self diagnosed with a pituitary tumor... it accounted for my galactorhhea (sp?), 3 chin hairs and headaches! Of course my grandmother dying of a brain tumor didn't help either! I did get an MRI and was diagnosed with migraines... don't get them too frequently and they seem to be triggered by sudden changes in baromentric pressure. I keep a gel eye mask in the fridge, use Mygra-Stik or if I have waited too long I resort to Excedrine Mingraine. I never filled my Rx medicine as I onle get maybe 5-9 per year.

Kenaji - Does he realize there is only a small time frame to which conception will take place and that if he has a low sperm count DTD everyday isn't good... besides the fact that after DH and I did for 9 days in a row, his, well, unit was sore and chaffed... lol!

KJad29 - GL with SA and a search for increase! I have heard about Fertility Blend as well.

Earthy - Hugs for DH's rude family!!! A few people know we are still TTC after the m/cs. My best friend roots me on from Texas and my Mom acts like I am pregnant 24/7 anyways with not wating me to lift, move furniture, etc. I tell DH's sisters because they are supportive but I have not told his mother anything since our 1st m/c. I actually go out of my way NOT to tell her because she has not an ounce of support and empathy for me. Oh yes, she is a devout Catholic woman with lots of good deeds to spread around to everyone else, but to me she is rude, snide and fake!

Fiber- Did they tell you what looked abnormal about your pap? GL with the follow ups! Have you had an HSG yet? How are all the fun duties of living on your farm going?

Jencat - yeah for positivity! Reading your entry made me realize why I continue to put myself through this emotional rollercoaster - because I want to be pregnant, I want to birth a child, I want to be the best Mom I can!!! And I want to know that I have given it ever shot (no pun intended) I could. THANKS for bringing me back to the light

HI and GL to the rest of the ladies- lurkers and Vegan, Mischievium, Jem...
post #33 of 224
Thanks for the input ladies, I have been trying to put off charting as I work shifts and there is no routine to what time I get up in the morning but there is no real reason why I cant check my cm or my cervix's position so will see if I can find a website that explains how to do that!

I'm about to go into the 2ww, without a lot of hope tbh....I realised this cycle that the 18 months we have been trying do not really count for much with there only really being the 3 day window in which I am fertile, some may think I have been niave to think that I could concieve 'unscientifically' but I guess I just really wanted it to be totally natural....I'm sure some of you will understand that.

The good news is that this seems to have brought me and DH even closer together, which is lovely as I didnt think we could get any closer. He's being very sweet...after BD 2 days ago he stroked my back and said 'swim, guys swim'. I nearly cried!
post #34 of 224
Ahhhh Jem, that is very sweet! Its great when wonderful things can come out of trying times! Brought a tear to my eye. This past month DH was extremely supportive with BDing whenever I needed, using Preseed and he even once asked if he could get me a pillow so I could prop myself up... I about fainted!

I just called the doc's office and he would want to do the surgery next week but I have reviewers coming in so I can't really. I asked if we can put it off until december : It makes me super nervous and I really want to feel like we have tried everything first. I have a call into the nurse to ask him to expand more on the "you can continue to try until we schedule the surgery" comment!
post #35 of 224
Originally Posted by earthymama2b View Post
Have ya'll shared amoung the families that you are TTC'ing? Any wise words of how to handle the 'Are ya'll next??' questions from family gracefully and evasively?
I've told my mom who by now I'm sure has told my dad. I chose to tell her because she's an acupuncturist and can provide a unique perspective that my ILs can't. I'm not going to be having a "typical" American pregnancy or birth and it's easier to just not talk about that. Besides, my ILs are the ones who are clamoring for a grandbaby and my parents have been really low key and respectful of letting us have our own space and deciding when we are ready. I left the decision of telling the ILs up to DH, though because they're his family and he wants to wait.

We've turned the inevitable questions into a joke. DH's family has a pool on who is going to get pg first...me or SIL (who is 6 years younger and just got married in September). I think they'll be surprised if it happens soon because we've done a good job of making them think we're not planning on trying until after I'm done with grad school.
post #36 of 224
Originally Posted by Wanting2BaMom View Post
Kenaji - Does he realize there is only a small time frame to which conception will take place and that if he has a low sperm count DTD everyday isn't good... besides the fact that after DH and I did for 9 days in a row, his, well, unit was sore and chaffed... lol!
Yes, he does...because I've told him many times. He knows the theory is the same when we're charting to avoid or charting to get pg. There was alcohol involved on his part last night and I think he's afraid that the second I get knocked up I'm not going to want to have sex ever, because a couple of his friends told him that is what they're dealing with right now. I think he just wants to make sure he has lots of it, lol.
post #37 of 224
Kemaji - at DH and the sex everyday bit..... I told DH we could have sex every day for two weeks - but not for the whole dang month! My bits wouldn't be able to handle it....

Kemi - I think that if ya'll got a faint line (no matter how faint!) that's a really good sign, and your DH might not need all that much tweaking to up his quantity/quality.... good luck!

Poet - *LOL* Yeah, I've been glaring at the 'just relax!' ones too....it's REALLY hard to relax AND TTC at the same time....

Laura - oh, that SUCKS!!! Dang, after all that - a dud! Well, it's good they are sending you another one - hopefully, you won't need to use it! And yeah, my GMIL is a 'good Christian woman' too - but oooooh, she's MEAN. And controlling! I don't plan on having the 'usual' American pregnancy either, and I reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyy don't feel like having THAT conversation with them/her.

Jem - oh, yeah, night shift work really messes up temps - but you can definitely do CM/CP checks. The Billings Method is a good one for CM checks, and a lot of details. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a REALLY good book that I think all women should read - TTC'ing or not! She gets pretty detailed with the CM descriptions....
And that is SO sweet of your DH.... mine is slowly and surely becoming more 'interested' in the process.

I got coverlines today! And a test date of......... Thanksgiving. *lmao* Which, after my 'family' question yesterday, is just EVER so amusing to me. Here's hoping that I'll have something to be EXTRA thankful for this year. :
I'm also getting a cold. *sigh* I've been debating marking the 'illness' checkbox on FF, but I don't FEEL sick, my nose is jsut stuffy, and one would think that mouth breathing would cause your temps to go DOWN, not uber up. So. Yeah.
post #38 of 224
Ok, well the temps after the really odd one have "normalized" and I'm pretty sure that based on the CM and everything, I'm about to O within the next few. DH is out of town until Sunday! Of course. Ah well, I think I'm ok with not trying this month because of the testing etc., and because of the trip to Mexico we're going on in December-Jan, I think I'd kind of like not to be pregnant then and worry about it (and, have some Tequila!).

Now, the countdown to having my bloodwork and the first part of the recurrent miscarriage testing begins! Maybe next Fri-Sat its looking like.

Oooh, and I just noticed, new moon, that would be cool if my body is sort of luna-cycling...

Kiya Test date of Thanksgiving! Hee. That is quite ironic after talking about all the family stuff. Yay for crosshairs!

kemaji I don't plan on having a "typical American" birth/babyraising either...and this has already become a bit of an issue with the in laws (FIL is a Dr.). Luckily, my mom had a planned UC homebirth with my sister and is very much understanding of my choices. Honestly, if I hadn't have been pregnant already and told everyone, we probably wouldn't tell at this stage either.

Laura I'm so with you, I'd want to wait and try everything first too before surgery, and would be nervous as well! Hugs. That sucks about the defective Fertell! I'm glad they're sending you a new one. They didn't tell me why specifically the PAP was abnormal, so I'm not sure.

Jem www.fertilityfriend.com has free software and charting info, they can help you keep track of your CM and CP if you're interested. Getting closer with your hubby is wonderful!

Poet Glad that the Dr. visit was reassuring. The relax part is so...arrrrghhh! I don't know...I *feel* relaxed, yet at the same time I know that I'm not because I'm worried about things deep down, which makes relaxing more challenging. Hugs.

VeganCupcake I like your responses .

I think that a line...is still a line. And that means the swimmers made it! But, I do think that further testing will at least give you more information to work with, you know? Hugs.
post #39 of 224
Thread Starter 
Hello All,

Thanks for the encouragement. Sorry that I can't do the personals like I would like to. I'm feeling much better and quite hopeful that things will have a happy ending.

I will be out of commission for the next 4 days, well 3 1/2 really because DH and I will be travelling to VA for a wedding banquet on Saturday and also taking the time to see and hang out with family and friends. Well only a few friends. So anyways, I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend. I'll try to catch up later and if there are any BFPs, please let me know....Could anyone volunteer to give me a summary of the next few days Monday evening? That would help a lot! Alright, I'll talk to you all later.

I do have a feeling that we're going to have a stream of BFPs this month....
post #40 of 224
Hey ladies,

Just wanted to check in and say hello. I've been reading and keeping tabs, but not being so vocal lately. But, I'm still here rooting for everyone!

Jem- Welcome to this board! I second what others have said about "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." It's a great book, and very helpful. Also, temping is important for the big picture (Am I ovulating? Are my cycles "normal"?), but doesn't really help you predict when to do the deed. If I had to choose one over the other, I'd focus on CM and cervical position or opening. I actually use a speculum and mirror to check mine, and I find that this is one of the best pieces of data I've gotten. The downside is that it can make babymaking a little clinical, or so I imagine. Not such an issue for me, since my sperm arrives in a tank!

Michelle- I'm sorry about your abnormal pap, and I hope that this week's testing provides some answers. I'll be interested to hear what you find.

Laura- Big hugs for AF. I'm so sorry. I do know what it feels like to think that this might be the month, only to be faced with AF...

Poet- I think I'll scream if one more person tells me to relax! I do hope those headaches clear up for you, without too much intervention. I also love your new signature line- the idea of letting go everything that isn't love is beautiful, and very appropriate as we open ourselves up to the possibility of new life.

Kemi- on the SA. Though, I agree with the others- a line is a line, and having been pregnant once is a good sign. I'm thinking positive thoughts for you both.

Kiya- Yeah, I hear you on family pressure. Most of my family knows, and sometimes I wish they didn't. For several months, my mother would call and begin conversations with, "So, did you inseminate yet?" I finally pointed out to her that that would be an incredibly inappopriate question if I were ttc in a more traditional manner. She also seems to choose the crampiest, most miserable day of my period to call up and ask if I'm pregnant. Finally I had to declare a moratorium on her asking about it. (Though not, however, before she called up one day and told me that she was very concerned that I wasn't going to get pregnant if I didn't make sure that I had an orgasm after every insemination. This is actually something that I do, but please...if you couldn't get pregnant without having an orgasm, would we really have so many unwanted teenaged pregnancies? And more importantly, whose mother calls to ask them about their orgasms???) In any case, I hope you have good Thanksgiving news, regardless of whether you share it or not! I personally am dreading the inevitable "turkey baster" jokes... And Vegan, I loved your "reasons"!

Kemaji- I'm with you on not wanting a typical birth/babyraising experience, and that is really hard to explain sometimes. For me, it's also been a challenge to ttc in a way that feels sort of organic and natural, since I'm using frozen sperm. I faced a lot of pressure to have a much more clinical experience, and feel very grateful that, so far at least, I've managed to make this happen in a way that feels loving and authentic and spiritual. What are you in grad school for? I'm writing a dissertation right now, and hope to have a baby in my final year of writing...

Anyway, all is well here. I'm in my happy post-AF, pre-OPK place. My sperm arrives today, so I'll probably start testing tomorrow. We switched donors this time to someone with a mega-high sperm count, which I'm hoping will help. I had a bit of a panic attack when I realized that both of my nurse-friends who have done my inseminations at home for me were going to be out of town this weekend. But, I found a great homebirth midwife who is willing to come and do them, so I feel very good about things. I was thinking we'd be inseminating over the weekend, but now, I'm thinking it might not be until Monday or Tuesday. I'll keep you all posted!

Alright, back to work with me. I apologize for those people I missed- I really have been eagerly reading everyone's posts; just stepping back a little on posting...

Baby dust to everyone!
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