Your DP's reaction?

[nubianamy]

How is your partner (if you have one) reacting to the news?

My DH's reaction has been underwhelming. He's not extremely expressive even on the best of days, but I was hoping for at least a "Congratulations" or something. I did get a hug and a "Well, better start saving." :

I know what's going on. He doesn't want to get too invested just in case the baby doesn't stick. It's just frustrating.

[JunebugsMom]

My DH is happy and he did say "congratulations" a couple of times. He said he isn't going to do a "happy dance" until the baby is acutally born but seriously, he's also trying not to get too invested because we have suffered losses in the past. I guess we (as women) are likely to bond with the baby and get really excited much sooner, simply because we are carrying the baby.

[Spark]

I think men often react much differently than we do to the news of a new babe. I think of warmth & love and blessings to our family. My husband immediately thinks of paying for college, job security, house size. It's just the logical vs. heartfelt. In some ways, it's good that they freak a bit, because it shows their responsibility and desire to be a good "provider".

[prothyraia]

Truth be told, a week before I got my positive test we decided that maybe we shouldn't be trying to concieve right now. So his reaction was understandably a little bleh; he came around quickly though.

[delicious]

aww nubianamy, i hope he comes around soon. i am sure he will.

with my ds, dp was pretty nervous at first but he did come around. and he was a rock star at the birth. i really think that since i am a stay at home parent, he feels a great deal of pressure as the sole provider that i do not understand.

this time, he is pretty excited and was happy. he was stressed about our car last night (we drive a civic hybrid. it barely fits the four of us as it is.) but after we did some hunting around online and checked out our options, he felt better. i think he was afraid we would have to get a minivan, lol.

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

Dh was goofy happy, as he has been with each of our pregnancies He is a bit atypical, I know that. I think I am beginning to understand why his parents had 12 kids...his dad was probably the same as him: "That's great! Another baby! I'm so excited!" without ever thinking about those other ramifications It's nice, though.

[finnegansmom]

My husband is kind of like, "ugh, whatever - I'll believe when I see it". VERY heartwarming. ummm, not. I think men have issues with pregnancy since it's so far removed for them - you know? He can't feel it, it's not his hormones going crazy. He's already said he doesn't want to be there for the birth - he had a tough time when my son was born. Also, he was less than helpful for me so I'm thinking of having a doula this time. He might come around, we'll see.

[Ahimsa]

He is happy that I am happy. I think he is also happy he provided for me, because I was saying I how much I wanted a baby last month. I am sure he is feeling pressure too, because he is the breadwinner and is between jobs right now. He is definitely not exited the way I am.

[mrs rockstar]

Mine was bummed that we weren't going to have to try every month. Because we tried all of once and here I am. Poor man.

[quarteralien]

My DH was happy, but now that things are sort of on hold in the bedroom department, I think he's quite a bit less enthusiastic. TMI coming: I spot for part of my first trimester, and seem to have an abnormally sensitive cervix, so any depth produces blood. It's really frustrating, and quite a mood killer. And TBH, I'm not excited about a cooler sex life either, so I understand. Oh well. This was a very much planned and wanted child, so I think DH will come around again.

[morganstar83]

My DH cried. We have been talking about having a baby together for awhile and now I have given him his wish. It was really cute

[ekblad9]

Well, I feel your pain, nubianamy. We've run the gammot around here on reactions depending on which baby it was, LOL. At first (with the first four kids) my dh worried about housing, college, etc. After that he realized we weren't required to pay for college and our housing is MORE than sufficiant. Then his reactions were generally not great because of how sick I get. Last time (with number 7) he was SOOO supportive and kind. No happy dance, but I could tell he was excited to have another baby to hold. He love, love, loves kids. He's so great with them. This time he's again worried about my health and the impact on the family and me but he's excited to have another baby. He says he'd have 50 kids: he just hates when I don't feel well. We're already broke, have cloth diapers, clothes, slings, everything we need. So, there' s not much to worry about anymore

[nubianamy]

Thanks for all your feedback! I feel better now.

Amy, regarding the college, we have very generous grandparents, and they've agreed to put enough in the college fund for each kid so they will be at least partly taken care of. I think DH is thinking mostly about child care. I'm the primary breadwinner, and we just bought a second house (investment). I think he's just feeling the pinch, y'know? It'll be fine, though, 'cause as you said, cloth dipes and sling and the babe is pretty much taken care of!

Morganstar, that is sooooo sweet. DH was like that about our first one. I know he will cry the first time we hear the heartbeat.

Quarteralien and Mrs. Rockstar, that is a big bummer. What about, er, non-intercourse sexual activities? I bet DH would be satisfied with that.

Finnegansmom, that sucks! Definitely get a good doula NOW. I can't wait to start meeting with my midwife regularly (she is so great, I don't need a doula). I was a doula for a few years and it's a huge benefit.

Delicious, I guess with two kids we can probably fit into our two Hondas (Accord & Civic) for now. We're just about to pay off that last car and then, ahhhh, no car payment for a while!! I can't imagine buying a new car. Hope it's not twins!

Prothyraia, I can relate -- we were NOT trying with DD but once we got over the shock, it was fine. I know DH will be fine about this one, too.

[xixstar]

Thank you for posting this and everyone's comments -- I've been sort of offset by my partners lack of interest or response to the whole thing.

I'm clearly excited, and we had been trying, but maybe more for me than him? Anyways, I don't know what I was expecting, but something more than nothing.

Though, to his credit, when I bugged him about his reaction this weekend, his response was "you didn't notice all the nesting I did this weekend to get ready?" And he did get quite a bit done on the house -- not sure if this is good or not since he already has so much work stress on him (I work at home but he brings in the majority of our income, 97% since we moved) and out old house needs lots of work.


I'm sure things will improve, just hard being so excited right now and seeing little response.

[sdm1024]

DH was a little surprised, but happy.

and yesterday he was just so thrilled, he was practically glowing.

Actually, we had been discussing having another baby, going back and forth, and now that I'm pregnant and the decisions been made for us it's such a huge relief.

[LemonPie]

DH is cautiously happy. When I was pg 2 months ago, he walked around with a goofy grin on his face, rubbing my tummy whenever I passed. Then I had a M/C

This time around he's happy, but I'm having some light spotting again, so we're kind of both holding our breath. And my being pregnant is extremely attractive to him (esp the changes up top ) but we're kind of worried about being intimate until we see what my next HCG is. I know it probably won't make a difference either way, but I just don't want to see the inevitable bleeding afterward, you know? I'm freaked out enough.

Jen

[Mom2Lex&Cay]

It's great reading all the responses!

We were very actively trying and he was calling me to check on test results daily. When we got the results there was a shift. He's been rather quiet about it, but he has been showing more affection. I would love out and out excitement, but his way is a bit more quiet and subtle.

Like so many of you mentioned, now that it's real, I think he's feeling more pressure as the provider and trying to work things out in his mind. He's also not happy with his company after 5 years and started looking for other offers, so I think that is weighing on him. Poor guy!

My DH also connects better after he hears a heartbeat and is really in tune after the U/S. He seems to have the need to make it a bit more "real" in his mind since he doesn't live day in and day out with the growing baby inside.

[red_trillium]

my dh has been begging for another for a while now, so he was really excited. he's not showing it a lot, though i feel its there. he's been more affectionate and just helpful. he's a little scared after what happened last time with the miscarriage, but i don't think that's hindering his excitement. he loves babies.

he's having a pretty stressful month at work(his boss is out and he's taking over his job as well as his own this month), but i think this is just the boost he needed to get him through. he's a pretty excitible, passionate guy though.

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by mrs rockstar

Mine was bummed that we weren't going to have to try every month. Because we tried all of once and here I am. Poor man.

My dh too. He is happy. I think he just wishes it had taken another 1-2 months of baby-making in the bedroom.