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WWYD if you had sextuplets? - Page 6

post #101 of 221
Quote:
Who is the victim in IVF?
Well, plenty of people here have said that they would abort if they were pregnant with higher order multiples. Many would say that those children are the victims.
post #102 of 221
Well, I highly doubt that I would find myself in that situation, but who can say for sure. Thankfully I've never had to make that kind of decision. But... if I had that many kids I would build a playground in my yard and invite all the neighbourhood kids over to play so that they would have opportunities to socialize without having to schlep everybody to the playground every day. Then I would give all the parents a cup of coffee and a basket of laundry to fold!
post #103 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Well, plenty of people here have said that they would abort if they were pregnant with higher order multiples. Many would say that those children are the victims.
You could transfer one embryo - fertilize just one egg.

I understand some of the arguments against destruction of embryos or selective reduction - but this is NOT the norm and even if it were, one could choose to do THEIR particular IVF without these things. So in that case, then where is the victim?

Saying you're 'against' IVF because *some* people do things you consider is unethical is like saying you're against driving because *some* people speed and drive wrecklessly or drunk.
post #104 of 221
One thing that always bugs me about these threads. The question was "what would you do if you had sextuplets?"
Not, would you keep the sextuplets or would you reduce? Not, would you do IVF or IUI?
The question was what would you do if you DID have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.

I think the IVF/infertility bashing on this thread is just awful, whether or not it was intended.
post #105 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn View Post
One thing that always bugs me about these threads. The question was "what would you do if you had sextuplets?"
Not, would you keep the sextuplets or would you reduce? Not, would you do IVF or IUI?
The question was what would you do if you DID have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.

I think the IVF/infertility bashing on this thread is just awful, whether or not it was intended.

Ok, for arguments sake I had them, I would adopt them out to separate families that could take care of them.
post #106 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe View Post
No way you'd be allowed to go vaginal. It's not common for docs to be OK with triplets vaginally (and even then everything needs to be perfect).
allowed? *scoff*
post #107 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by poxybat View Post
allowed? *scoff*
My sentiments exactly! Thank you poxy!

Okay, to answer the question at hand:

I would be over the moon happy. You have no idea.
DH would probably be shocked speechless for about a week, and Not Happy after that, but he'd come round eventually.

Pregnancy: I would eat, eat, eat all the time. And rest. And take my vitamins. And try to find an OB/GYN who would continue having me as a patient knowing I would birth vaginally, even if any of the babies were breech or came early. No way would I consent to routine surgery. Worst coming to worst, and not having a care provider willing to take me on, I'd exercise my rights under EMTALA and birth vaginally anyway, with whatever care provider happened to be in the hospital at the time. I expect I would give birth in a hospital, only because I think it's pretty much a given that labor would commence unstoppably before 36 weeks. If by some miracle I did get past that point, I would birth at home. The Dionne sisters (spontaneous identical quintuplets) survived at home, with no birth injuries. I'd probably not find out that there were so many until fairly well along in the pregnancy due to UP (my complete molar pregnancy wasn't diagnosed until 17.5 weeks for that reason, after weeks of abnormal size for dates - no regrets here, btw). After which, I would seek medical assistance, possibly cerclage, maybe pelvic elevation on one of those special tilt beds. I'd also get my breastfeeding support arsenal in line. Steel-cut oats, fenugreek, blessed thistle, alfalfa, liquid chlorophyll, Medela Classic, several Lact-Aid assemblies, shotglass for cup feeding, finger feeder, NO ARTIFICIAL NIPPLES, and as much frozen donor milk as possible from MilkShare or wherever else I could get it. With the exception of the extra Lact-Aids, these are measures I'm taking anyway , since I'm determined to do everything I can to get breastfeeding going right. Oh, and with a singleton, I'd have the dom on hand but not take it unless we were having trouble. With multiples, I'd start taking it immediately after their birth and consider taking Reglan as well.

Birth: The usual plans would apply, minus the UC if the birth was premature, and minus the lotus birth if the hospital were involved. No immediate cord clamping: 5 minutes minimum, until cessation of pulsing if logistically feasible with more babies emerging. Resuscitation (if necessary) at the delivery table with cord intact. No Pit, no Cytotec, no other drugs including IV antibiotics, no routine IV, no routine heplock, no withholding fluids or food, no vacuum, no forceps, no episiotomy, no "delivery traction," no routine nuchal cord manipulation, no bright lights or shouting, no routine suctioning, no eye goop, no hep B shot, no vitamin K, and no circumcision or retraction. If at hospital, one DH plus 5 close friends/family to accompany each baby everywhere, assuming such transfer were medically needed. If NICU stays were needed... - that would be truly awful. We would try to have all the babies accompanied as much as possible and get them breastmilk and kangaroo care as much as possible.

Postpartum: - with help from as many friends as possible. I would also hire at least 1 or 2 helpers (preferably wetnurses, but they are hard to find; more likely teenagers), in addition to DH, to carry the babies and help with household stuff. I would wear and nurse 2 at a time, as much as possible. Maybe DH could figure out how to wear 3 (1 in mei tai on back, 2 in wrap on front?) I would have DH or the helpers log all feedings and weigh the babies regularly to make sure they were all getting fed enough. I would use as much donated breastmilk as we got, but unless we got a prescription for banked milk and insurance covered the cost, I would still expect to have to supplement with formula (though not artificial nipples. hate hate hate artificial nipples. lact-aid, sns, cup, syringe, spoon, dropper, in that order.). DH would still be the SAHD, I'd still go back to full-time WOHM after 3 months' leave; the upside is that the household income can support a full-time hired teen helper or two. I'd pump or direct-feed babies at my 3 scheduled breaks, and get 2 Classics so I didn't have to tote a 16lb object back and forth to work (which is my current plan .

I would EC (and show the helpers how to EC) as much as it reduced our work in changing and washing diapers, rather than adding to it. As constant as EC would be with 6, I would expect it to way outshine changing diapers on six four-year-olds. I would mount a warm-water dish sprayer next to the toilet to rinse small bums directly into it. I would still use cloth diapers, probably AI2s. I would use a diaper service if there were one anywhere near me (there isn't). I would probably get 6 or so clothes processors (machines that wash and then dry with no transfer. We have one at the moment). I would put them next to the toilet so I could empty the poo into the toilet and put the diapers right into the clothes processor. No reason to keep a pail when you're generating laundry loads that fast. I probably would not dress the children in clothes, only their diapers, so no baby clothes to wash, except for special occasions. It's always warm here. And we won't have any carpets, either.

I would get a really big dishwasher to sanitize pump parts and take care of our dishes. I would babyproof a whole floor of the house so the babies wouldn't need to be penned or strapped into contraptions to be safe. I would sell our cars and get a (used) van.

I can't see feeding or putting the babies down for naps on a schedule. Schedules tend to add complexity to my life, not reduce it. I'd have enough to do caring for 6 babies without keeping after a schedule too. Records, yes, so I could keep track of who hasn't eaten in a while. Schedules, no.

I'd do a room in wall-to-wall mattress with waterproofing. Or I might get 3 cosleepers to hold 2 each, or try out Amby beds. (I was considering all those options for a singleton, too.) We'd definitely family bed once they got to be toddlers (DH and I sleep like logs), but during infancy I'd first try other ways of helping them sleep without CIO, since I'd be concerned about keeping from overlying 6 infants at once. They would still definitely not sleep in a separate room.

Let's see.. what else? We'd still unschool. We'd still get lots of outdoor play equipment and cool indoor toys and invite neighbor kids to play. We already eat a lot of prepared (though whole) food from Costco and the health food store, spending 30 minutes or less on food prep each day, so I don't see that changing. We'd still do some American Sign Language in addition to speech, and read to our babies, and try to keep junk food and commercials out of their lives. We don't have a TV, and would not get one. There is no way I would ever allow non-gentle discipline, or CIO to sleep.

I guess the main things that would be different from one baby would be more equipment; planning to let babies hang out on the floor with toys when they're happy with that instead of constantly in arms; asking friends and family for much more daily help; hiring help; and a greatly increased level of constant activity caring for the babies. A much more drastic change would be if one or more of the babies had special needs. But I'm not covering that here. It's plenty long enough already.
post #108 of 221


yeah i was thinking i would finally get to eat placenta because i dont think id attempt lotus birth with six...

maybe i would... i am pretty crazy...
post #109 of 221
If I had sextuplets, I would give some of them up for adoption. I wouldn't have sextuplets though so it doesn't really matter.
post #110 of 221
if I had them, I would do whatever worked for our familys needs, even if that ment formula feeding, cribs and schedules. I would do it in a heartbeat if my singleton child needed it, so with 6, I would definatly do it.
post #111 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn View Post
The question was what would you do if you DID have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.
Well, really the question is irrelevent most likely to all of us, since NONE of us will ever have sextuplets and therefore cannot say what we would or would not do with any degree of certainty.
post #112 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy View Post
Well, really the question is irrelevent most likely to all of us, since NONE of us will ever have sextuplets and therefore cannot say what we would or would not do with any degree of certainty.
: I would be scheduling a reduction for ASAP. I just don't have adequate family help to care for sextuplets. In fact, right now I don't have the bandwidth to deal with one more child sadly.
post #113 of 221
Well, to just put a realistic spin on it : Generally speaking people who have sextuplets make headlines and get LOTS of help and free things from people and companies. So when it comes to things like affording clothes, although it would still be expensive, you would have SOME help.
Now...I would say that I would probably breastfeed as many of them as I could handle, and then look for milk donations for the rest. If any weren't thriving on BM alone, I would supplement with formula.

I would cosleep, even if it meant (if my room was big enough) putting two king sized beds side by side. There is something you can buy to put two beds together (my friend hooked two twins together to make a bigger bed) so there would be no risk of a child falling through the crack at all. I would sleep in the middle and cover the crack "just in case", I wouldn't want any risk of them going in and not being to get out and suffocating.

I would be sure that when I did get media attention (which is bound to happen) that I mentioned how I'm AP. First because it would get out the concept and maybe make others look into it. And also because those who knew what it entailed would probably send companies my way that had AP philosophies behind them.

I can honestly say I'm not sure if I would cloth diaper or not. It was tough even with Jacob, I can't even imagine doing it with two much less six.

I would sling them but obviously not all at once.


I know that much. But in the end who really knows WHAT they would do?
post #114 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by JavaFinch View Post
As someone else already said, almost all HOM are IUI or fertility drugs with sex, not IVF. Also I just wanted to say (just FYI - not to be snarky) that unless you are also infertile (and your kids are all adopted) it IS offensive to say you don't 'believe' in IVF. It would be like a healthy person telling a cancer patient they don't "BELIEVE" in chemo or radiation and that they should just accept their diagnosis.

I mean, how can you not 'believe' in it? Suffering women and men desperate to have the ONE thing that even crack addicts and child abusers can easily obtain. DO you know what it's like to walk into a TARGET (or a million other places) and see baby bucket isle after isle and pregnant bellies at every turn? It's like a nightmare. To have doctors out there willing to HELP you have a child ... how can you "NOT BELIEVE" in that? Maybe you could help me understand how someone could "not believe in IVF"?

Ok, I'll clarify, it is against my religious beliefs to do IVF so I wouldn't do it. I do have infertility issues and I have had two losses in 2 years. It has been rough, however, I cannot do IVF so I should have said that differently. I do not want to offend anyone, there are people that choose IVF and that is fine with me. It is just that in my personal beliefs, I cannot do it. That's whay I said it the way I did.

Take care,
post #115 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
I'm not the person you are addressing, but I "don't believe in" hormonal birth control. But, I would never try to force my belief on anyone because it is a personal conviction that I have (and my husband shares it.)
FRISSY!!!!! Hi!

(sorry to hijack thread, I know her from another board)
post #116 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe View Post
I could morally never participate in adoption.
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they are morally opposed to adoption. Could you explain why?
post #117 of 221
I would selectively reduce to 0-3, if I had a 4+ fetus pregnancy, which apparently do occur naturally.
I looked it up and the highest # human pregnancy ever was ELEVEN fetuses! :
I LOL'd at the image of a mama on roller skates being pulled by six harnessed toddlers, though.
post #118 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonnenwende View Post
Have to also agree with the people who would selectively reduce. No thanks.
:
post #119 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarski View Post
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they are morally opposed to adoption. Could you explain why?
I'm not the person whose comment you replied to, but I am opposed to adoption. I don't feel that it's ethically handled, for one thing -- it's the commodification of children. Infant adoption in the United States is entirely corrupt, coercive tactics are used to procure babies for waiting adopters, and the effect on children (and surrendering parents) is very, very negative.

Here's an article that I wrote on the subject: The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens

I've been involved in the anti-adoption movement for ten years now, I literally wrote a book on the subject, and I'm happy to answer any questions you have (though it's probably better to do it via PM since it's OT for this thread).
post #120 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Well, plenty of people here have said that they would abort if they were pregnant with higher order multiples. Many would say that those children are the victims.
Which is why most of the world does its darndest to NOT get anyone pregnant with six at a time.

Quote:
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they are morally opposed to adoption. Could you explain why?
Oh, that would be loooong and way OT. Suffice to say I used to be as gung ho as anyone about it, until I started to read adoption blogs - birth mother, adoptive parent and adopted children blogs. It is not the fairy story I'd been led to believe all my life. It could be done ethically, and I'm sure many are, but the way the system is, you'd have to fight hard to do it that way. And to reform the system starts with reforming the society - a job that's too big for me to do. And, in the heirachy of harm, own gamete IVF and donor egg IVF are easier to do well, and we were always one step from the backup plans when ttc, so I never had to figure out exactly how to organise an ethical adoption.

Sorry, I'd search through some of the blogs I read for posts explaining it better, but it's Saturday afternoon, so I have to go and do family stuff.
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