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WWYD if you had sextuplets? - Page 10

post #181 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
******* Not a mod here, but: I'd think we should stay away from the reduction/abortion talk as to keep the thread open. *********
Talking about reduction won't get the thread shut. If people try to debate and argue people's choices, that is what would get the thread shut down. You can't have a thread about what one woudl do with hom without talk of reduction.


On that note, I would definitely get a reduction.
post #182 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ks Mama View Post
Sextuplets don't just land in your lap.

I wouldn't have implanted that many embryos.
IVF mom chiming in here, because this misconception seems to keep popping up in discussions about high order multiples and it's driving me bananas.

HOMs are almost always (well, 99.9% of the time) the result of IUI, not IVF. IVF is actually done in part to control how many embryos actually implant in the uterus as a result of Assisted Reproductive Techhologies (ART.) Families like the Gosselins, Dillys, and others all used IUI, not IVF to conceive their children.

Please, please, please, stop lumping all of us who needed IVF to conceive our children into the same category. IVF and IUI are simply not the same thing, it's unfair to continue spreading this kind of misinformation about HOMs and attributing them to IVF when it is just not the truth.

(As an aside, I don't personally take issue with those who do resort to IUI as treatment for their infertility. There are lots of reasons why IUI is used instead of IVF, in large part because it isn't as intensive, invasive of expensive as IVF. It's all about personal choice, folks!)
post #183 of 221
I think I would just do my best. I think Jon and Kate are doing their best. I think it's funny how many threads I see where people think they could do it better.

I have a hard time keeping up with one teenager and all she needs to do.

I give them credit for coming up with something that works for them.

But, Kate could stand to loosen up a little.
post #184 of 221
I would be scared but excited. Put me in the 6 toddlers would be a hoot camp! As far as their baby-hood. I would schedule, schedule, schedule. With 2 young ones i need schedules, with 8 (tups plus my 2) i would have to have schedules. I would nurse as often and as many as I could and put out the call to all the local MDC moms that I needed pumped milk, or come by and nurse a baby (or 2) when you have a chance!

cloth diapers - no way i heck would i even try to put that burden on myself.

co-sleeping - by necessity I'd assume i'd end up with 4 + kids in my bed a night.

Voluteer helpers/freebies - bring it on, show up at the door with your clean background check and i'll invite you in with a smile and a chore list!

My big fear with that many would be, i would spend so much time and energy on the few that were smaller/sickly-er that the robust, healthy babies would get ignored. Knowing myself like i do, I'm sure i would create some sort of list to keep track and make sure the lower-needs babies still got mama time.
post #185 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lolagirl View Post
IVF mom chiming in here, because this misconception seems to keep popping up in discussions about high order multiples and it's driving me bananas.

HOMs are almost always (well, 99.9% of the time) the result of IUI, not IVF. IVF is actually done in part to control how many embryos actually implant in the uterus as a result of Assisted Reproductive Techhologies (ART.) Families like the Gosselins, Dillys, and others all used IUI, not IVF to conceive their children.

Please, please, please, stop lumping all of us who needed IVF to conceive our children into the same category. IVF and IUI are simply not the same thing, it's unfair to continue spreading this kind of misinformation about HOMs and attributing them to IVF when it is just not the truth.

(As an aside, I don't personally take issue with those who do resort to IUI as treatment for their infertility. There are lots of reasons why IUI is used instead of IVF, in large part because it isn't as intensive, invasive of expensive as IVF. It's all about personal choice, folks!)
Sorry, apparently I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't even understand half of the abbreviations you've used in your post.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, spread misinformation, or mistruth!

I was simply responding to the post. And trying to get the message across that 6 babies at once doesn't "fall into anyone's lap" as was suggested by the OP. As you personally know, it's a decision that people who are encountered with using fertility treatments come to consciously.

AND as such, I was saying that I wouldn't DO anything that would put me in the position of having 6 babies at one time. I believe that to be an irresponsible decision, and a multiple pregnancy like that is unhealthy for the mother and obviously unhealthy for the babies who obviously are going to be born very premature in need of all sorts of treatments, and as has been stated here on this thread, the likelihood 6 babies would be able to be breastfed or treated as every baby has the right to be (i.e. worn, nursed on cue, coslept), is slim to none. So that's not right, and its not a decision I would make. That was the point I attempted to make the first time, without being so darned verbose.

Sorry to have offended. It wasn't my intent.
post #186 of 221
I would strongly consider reducing to 3 or 4. But having said that, the question wasn't what would I do if I was PREGNANT with 6, it was what would I do if I HAD six.

I wouldn't co-sleep. I would let them cosleep though, putting two or three babies in a crib since they're so used to it from the womb. 6 mobile babies would not sleep well together in the same bed. One would constantly be waking the others and there's no way I could get good rest with 12 hands and 12 legs potentially hitting and kicking me throughout the night.

I would bf as many as I could and hope for donor milk for the others. While they're in the NICU, I'd pump like a mad woman to get my supply as high as possible and take any and all supplements I safely could. The weaker ones would get more milk, but all babies would at least get some milk - hopefully a little everyday but that would depend greatly on the health of the others.

I'd definitely cd. Out of all the AP things I do, I'd think that would be the easiest. We'd hopefully be gifted a service, but if not we'd keep it to prefolds and covers. It'd mean more laundry, but it'd be the easiest of all of it with no stink issues, we wouldn't worry about stains, no folding, etc.

I'd wear one in the sling at all times and two when they're little. Ideally, dh and all helpers would as well, but who knows if they would. I'd ask for as much help with housekeeping, etc as I could get so I could spend more time taking care of my kids. For all helpers, I'd have two giant dry erase boards hung on the wall of the main room. One would be for the baby crew with who ate what last, diaper changes, and general schedule. The other would be for the housekeeping crew and have a list of things that need to be done. Erase as needed and if you find something that needs to be done but can't get to it, write it up there.

We'd have to have a schedule, no two ways about it. You eat when food is offered or you don't eat (toddlers and older, obviously). We wouldn't be strict with it - if none are hungry til 8am but we usually eat at 7:30, no biggie. If it's close to meal time and some are starting to get hungry we won't wait til it's time. Naptime and bedtime would always be at the same time to keep me sane. We would sleep train, no doubt. Can you imagine getting up 6 different times during the night - and that's all of them just waking once? Yeah, again, schedule. It'd be the only way you'd get anything done.

I would have to research vaccines and HOM/preemies before saying for sure, but most likely we would not vaccinate. Definitely no hep b or eye goop, etc.

Things I wouldn't budge on - gentle discipline, baby led solids, cloth diapering, not spanking, leave them intact. I don't think you have to do bf, cd, cosleep, etc to be considered AP. AP to me is loving your children and treating them with the same respect as adults, while doing the best you can.
post #187 of 221
What would I do with sextuplets? To be honest, I have no clue. We'd have to move. I don't know how we'd even afford a place to live, let alone clothes, etc. Ugh.

What I would definitely try to do:

Breastfeed to as great an extent as my supply would allow. That would mean rotating babies, so that they all got at least some breastmilk. I have no idea how much I'd be able to manage and how much ABM would be required, though.

I'd definitely cloth diaper. At least my washer and dryer are in my house. I don't want the hassle of having to go out and buy diapers every other day. I can't handle the expense. I'd also try a lot harder to help my children potty learn at an early age...but if they were all like ds2...I don't know...

Cosleeping would be awfully tricky. Maybe I'd have them all in my room and switch around which ones were actually in our bed? I don't know - think I'd have to see how that one worked.

I guess I'd have to do some scheduling, but that would be hard. I suck at schedules.


Survive. Survive. Survive. That would be my main mission. When I look at how crazy things are here right now, with one teenager, two little ones, and a baby-under-construction...cannot even imagine coping with six all at once!
post #188 of 221
Even though it's been a year since I last posted in this thread, and now all of my children are in school for at least half the day...even better rested and with more distance, I still think that I'd have to have a suicide prevention strategy in place.

I thought I understood sleep deprivation until I had twins. And as a twin mom I cannot even begin to fathom triplets. The complications and energy drain does not multiply, it goes up exponentially. I don't think it's possible to exclusively breastfeed beyond 3. I nursed 3 for awhile, and nursed my twins until they self weaned (none of my kids did cereal or baby food, we went straight from the breast to table food, chopped/smooshed as necessary of course). I grew healthy kiddos but I was extremely depleted after weaning, it took me a couple of years to truly recover, and nursing twins and comfort nursing a toddler is NOT maxing yourself out like hom would be.

I'd like to think that I could selectively reduce, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't. I couldn't even make a decision that would have guaranteed the life of one, I chose instead to risk them both. Luckily for me and them it worked out, but it took me years before I wasn't daily haunted by that either--so I know that I probably wouldn't have the guts to reduce. (after having been through my experience, I must say that i have one hell of a lot more respect for parents who decide to go for reduction or abortion--I too believed that was the 'easy way' out until I had it stare me straight in the face, now I know there ARE no 'easy ways out'.)

It's true that you'd probably get some commercial help as long as you've got the right look (HOM families of color in general do not receive as much public attention and assistance).

For me personally though, it would be devastating. I am an introvert. I am a shy person. Having a ton of helpers in and out of my home all the time (and yes, that would be necessary for quite a long time) would put me through the wringer emotionally when I would be already physically drained. I guess i'd be a little more able to deal with the extremely painful readjustment of AP expectations now that I already had to do that with twins. But it'd still be painful.

My only hope would be to arm myself with whatever I needed to do just to survive that first year/year and a half. It can be done, taking one step at a time, but...for me that would be a very hard journey. It's not even really all that fun for me to think or fanatsize about.
post #189 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ks Mama View Post
Sorry, apparently I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't even understand half of the abbreviations you've used in your post.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, spread misinformation, or mistruth!

I was simply responding to the post. And trying to get the message across that 6 babies at once doesn't "fall into anyone's lap" as was suggested by the OP. As you personally know, it's a decision that people who are encountered with using fertility treatments come to consciously.

AND as such, I was saying that I wouldn't DO anything that would put me in the position of having 6 babies at one time. I believe that to be an irresponsible decision, and a multiple pregnancy like that is unhealthy for the mother and obviously unhealthy for the babies who obviously are going to be born very premature in need of all sorts of treatments, and as has been stated here on this thread, the likelihood 6 babies would be able to be breastfed or treated as every baby has the right to be (i.e. worn, nursed on cue, coslept), is slim to none. So that's not right, and its not a decision I would make. That was the point I attempted to make the first time, without being so darned verbose.

Sorry to have offended. It wasn't my intent.
High multiples happen in medicated IUI cycles that are not monitored well enough by the docs. But also in Clomid cycles that are not even monitored a lot of times because they are often without IUI.

You can only know much risk you are willing to take with fertility treatments when you are actually infertile and really face the choices. Going through infertility makes you stretch what you are willing to do to have a child IMO.

Carma
post #190 of 221
I would move to Nebraska.



























Kidding, people. I'm kidding.
post #191 of 221
The first thing I'd do would be call my best friend and tell her she'd be moving in ASAP. And ask if she'd be willing to induce lactation.

After that ... I don't know. Take my ideal, figure out which parts would work with that many babies, and then wing the rest.
post #192 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCVeg View Post
I would move to Nebraska.
post #193 of 221
re: comments about "not putting oneself in that position".

The Dionne quintuplets were born in 1934. The family was poor, and already had five children. I doubt highly that they attempted any kind of fertility measures, even of the folklorish variety. They most certainly didn't have IVF or IUI or anything else of that sort in 1934. Five children. That's HOM. The only thing they did to "put themselves in that position" was have sex.
post #194 of 221
hum..

I would ask my sisters to induce lactation. I would move into a bigger house
I would CD, to me diapers are diapers. I would cosleep, how else would you get sleep!

I would probably reduce. I can't say for sure, but I would have to think long and hard about it.
post #195 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCVeg View Post
I would move to Nebraska.



























Kidding, people. I'm kidding.
I live in Nebraska.....not the best place to be
post #196 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
High multiples happen in medicated IUI cycles that are not monitored well enough by the docs. But also in Clomid cycles that are not even monitored a lot of times because they are often without IUI.

You can only know much risk you are willing to take with fertility treatments when you are actually infertile and really face the choices. Going through infertility makes you stretch what you are willing to do to have a child IMO.

Carma
Thanks for the clarification.

I can only imagine infertility would make a person questions one's decisions.

But I can tell you for certain that my beliefs are such that I would not ever choose or have chosen to have the possibility of 6 children, infertility or no. I certainly am grateful never to have been put in the position of even approaching those discussions in my life, but not having been there in person doesn't mean if I were that I would drastically change my perspective on the fairness & rightness of treatment of babies.

In the same way as I knew long before having a baby that I'd never let any future baby cry it out - because that's just not how you treat another person. I didn't need to have a baby to know that.
post #197 of 221
If I found myself with six babies in my tummy I would not reduce, I just personally could not CHOOSE which babies to keep and which ones go, that is not for me at all. I really don't know what I would do after the birth, I guess I would have to wait and see what is best for the family at the time. Sometimes we never know what will DO until we HAVE to do it.
post #198 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
re: comments about "not putting oneself in that position".

The Dionne quintuplets were born in 1934. The family was poor, and already had five children. I doubt highly that they attempted any kind of fertility measures, even of the folklorish variety. They most certainly didn't have IVF or IUI or anything else of that sort in 1934. Five children. That's HOM. The only thing they did to "put themselves in that position" was have sex.
Okay, but don't you think its farily safe to assume currently the large majority of multiple births (we're not talking twins or even triplets here) are because of fertility treatments, not random chance, right? The story the OP was talking about was 6 babies born at once, because of fertility treatments, as I understand. Correct? And so they made a choice to put themselves in that position. And so, no, I wouldn't make that choice. I think that's a realistic statement to make.
post #199 of 221
I would honestly probably reduce.

If by some weird miracle I ended up with sextuplets naturally with no fertility treatments and I somehow didn't find out until they were all born (yes, I'm stretching here!) I would probably cry, then I would enlist the help of EVERYONE I know and find a way that DP could stay home and we could still make enough money.

I probably wouldn't co-sleep unless it was necessary for a specific child's comfort. I don't think I'd schedule meals because I can't work on a schedule.

I would try my damndest to breastfeed all of them. I love nursing, I make 3 times as much milk as my baby needs anyway, and I think it'd just be totally freaking awesome to BF multiples. I know that realistically it's probably no fun at all though.

I really admire moms of multiples. I had nightmares when I was pregnant that it was twins. It must be really tough. I know I'm just scraping by with one!
post #200 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ks Mama View Post
Okay, but don't you think its farily safe to assume currently the large majority of multiple births (we're not talking twins or even triplets here) are because of fertility treatments, not random chance, right? The story the OP was talking about was 6 babies born at once, because of fertility treatments, as I understand. Correct? And so they made a choice to put themselves in that position. And so, no, I wouldn't make that choice. I think that's a realistic statement to make.
I don't think it's a realistic comment. The question in the thread title was "what would you do if you had sextuplets?". If people don't want to address that, that's fine. I just don't see the point in holier than thou comments about putting oneself in that position, when it could conceivably (ouch - bad pun) happen to anybody. I'm currently pregnant and this will be my last baby. I've always wanted four and my family will be complete once this baby arrives. That doesn't mean that nature couldn't throw me a curve ball in the form of twins or triplets...or even quads or quints...

Is it likely? No. The likelihood of having HOM doesn't have anything to do with what I'd do if it happened, though. It's a hypothetical question, so I don't get why people are addressing it solely as an issue of fertility treatments and choices. It could happen without those treatments, and the question is about how we'd handle it if it did happen...not about whether we'd put ourselves in that position in the first place.
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