TV on to go to sleep?

[amcal]

I'm really ready to get my 4.5 and 5.5yos in their own bed. But, the mere mention of it is enough to send them into hysteria.

They beg me every night to let them watch a DVD while going to bed.

I was thinking about moving them into their bed and allowing them to watch a movie to fall asleep. I know, I know, it's not ideal but I need some motivation to get them into their own bed. I've read the no cry sleep solution, we've tried a bed by ours, moving it slowly etc... nothing works. They always end up back in our bed.

Is this a bad idea?

[jenni22]

I don't really have any experience with this except that sometimes it's a *rare* treat to watch a movie at bed time. It seems like it would be a bad habit to get into though. But I'm not in your shoes, so whatever works best for you is what's going to be right!

[zinemama]

That sounds like a really bad habit to get into and an extremely slippery slope.

In fact, I've never heard of anyone watching a movie to fall asleep!

How about letting them listen to music instead?

Have you figured out what it is exactly that freaks them out about being in their own beds? Is it fear of the dark or of something else? Maybe if we knew more about the situation, folks could give more concrete suggestions.

[alysonb]

When DS was around 3 he went through a phase where he wanted to watch a movie/show when it was bed time. I let him do so for a while only because I was trying to get the baby to bed at the same time and (call it a cop out if you will), it was the only way that I could do it. A couple of months ago his portable dvd player (which is what he would watch the shows on in his room) broke. I thought for sure that he would freak out, but it really hasn't bothered him a bit. Now he's back to wanting me to read to him, so he watches a show in the living room while I get his brother to sleep and then we go into his room and I read him to sleep. When he was watching TV at bedtime I made sure that it was quieter programs like Franklin, Little Bear or Thomas. The Little Bear Movie was especially soothing. Sometimes we'd watch it together and I'd always fall asleep first. I even use it myself occasionally when I need to relax.

[limabean]

I'd be really hesitant to get into that habit -- I'd be more likely to let them listen to a story on CD, or even to lie down with them myself until they fall asleep if they're fearful about sleeping without you.

[lindberg99]

Yes, it's a bad idea.

My neighbor did that and one night her 7 yo DD stayed over at my house. We only have one TV that is in the family room and my kids don't really watch much TV in the evenings at all. The neighbor girl was just flipping out at the fact that she couldn't watch TV while she fell asleep. It was seriously like she was addicted to it. It took her FOREVER to fall asleep that night.

[octobermom]

We sorta kinda do this. I have a DD who actually gets really calm when watching a video so much that unless shes ready to rest or sleep she doesn't want to watch TV So like I allow her to watch two shows for her quet time at night bedtime goes like this..
After dinner we do bath teeth PJs ect
SHe chooses a board game and we play a few rounds then she chooses two books and we read
After she gets to choose one pre recorded show or movie and gets to lie on my bed with me to watch it. Sometimes shes does fall asleep to it but mostly doesn't but it relaxes her and she knows that when its over shes needs to go to her room and sleep. She will basically do this on her own she shes not quite falling asleep to TV.
Often she also falls asleep when I'm reading to her.

[marybethorama]

We've done it

The phase passed. It was a pretty short one really.

[Hannahsmummy]

My thought would be absolutely 100% no. Our daughter is TV free so take my advice with a grain of salt though!

I think it's a really unhealthy habit to get into. It's a crutch to falling asleep just like any other. Kid brains process what happened to them during the day and experiencing TV before sleeping really interferes with that as they are having to process the flashing images instead of having a quiet wind down.

There are loads of studies about why having kids use TV as a sleep aid is a really bad idea. Here's just one article but you could find many:
http://www.ynhh.org/healthlink/pedia...ics_10_99.html

[Strong Mama]

:My son is 14 years old and has fallen asleep to the TV since he was 4.:

It never ended, the phase. He doesnt watch it, he likes the noise. We tried music, fans, white noise machines, etc. Only the TV would and still will do.?? He has always slept very well and it never bothers him.

[1xmom]

My dd doesn't, but I do and usually that is the only time the tv is on b/c we don't have a lot of time to just sit and watch. There is the occasion where she would come in my room and watch a show before going to sleep. She just watched "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.", special treats like that, but usually we read before she goes to sleep.

[Nature]

We all watch tv to fall asleep. We don't watch it, its just the background noise. For me it stemmed from childhood. My grandmother used to play cribbage with a friend at night while I slept and I'd always fall asleep listening to her talking and laughing. So hearing the tv in the background is soothing to me.

I can fall asleep without it though if I have to.

My dd's all prefer to fall asleep to noise like that. I don't mind. Dh doesn't mind. And it works for us.

Oh and the sleep timer is on so it goes off after an hour or so anyway.

[AllisonR]

For those of you who leave the tv on to fall asleep, what do you do if you go on vacation, i.e. camping, or stay at a friends house....

[Nature]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

For those of you who leave the tv on to fall asleep, what do you do if you go on vacation, i.e. camping, or stay at a friends house....

Camping is harder. So far we've only gone once and dd2 was still a baby so nursing her down worked fine. Friends houses are easy. Everyone I know has tv's in the bedrooms.

[amcal]

Just to be clear - the TV wouldn't be on all night. It would be one video and then the TV would be turned off. I think I'm just trying to create some sort of pleasant association with being in their own bed. I could lay down with them but, they share a bed so three of us in a double wouldn't be fun. And quite honestly, I don't want to lay down with them. I spend my entire day nurturing and caretaking. When I put them to bed, I want to be able to go back down stairs and read or watch a show with DH or just have some down time. Also, I don't see how creating a dependence on having to have me lay down with them is any different than creating a dependence on TV.

[mazajo]

All of my older DC watch TV while they fall asleep.

With my older boys, it started when they were about 6, 8 and 10, somewhere around then. A friend of mine stayed with me for a few months, and I moved all three boys into one bedroom. She'd brought her TV with her, which was nicer than the one I had in the living room, so we put her TV in the living room and moved mine to the boys' room, supposedly on a temporary basis. It started with the boys wanting to finish a show before they went to bed and then falling asleep before the show went off. They got addicted to it very quickly and now they have a hard time falling asleep without.

DSD was already in the habit of falling asleep to TV when I met her and DH.

They all seem to sleep just fine, so I just let it go.

Now my 2yo on the other hand, he doesn't watch much TV yet anyway and I am planning to keep the TV out of his bedroom for a long looooong time. Even though my older DC don't seem negatively effected by it, it just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

[sebandg'smama]

I just have to plug the book Sleepless in America.
http://www.amazon.com/Sleepless-Amer.../dp/0060736011
I just started reading it, and it is so much more helpful than I thought it would be!

[its_our_family]

Originally Posted by Transitions

:My son is 14 years old and has fallen asleep to the TV since he was 4.:

It never ended, the phase. He doesnt watch it, he likes the noise. We tried music, fans, white noise machines, etc. Only the TV would and still will do.?? He has always slept very well and it never bothers him.

Our son is almost 6 and has since he was 2. It is that ONLY way we ever go thim to sleep. We are talking to the point of waking every 15 minutes to scream for me. Once Bryce was born we had to work something out. Now that he is in Kindergarten he gets a short movie and he is normally asleep in the first 5 minutes. Then the tv goes off. Our youngest is the same way.
I would only do it if you had to. It drives me crazy. It drives dh crazy. The boys have gotten used to it. Music at night puts our oldest on edge.

Actually, now that I think about it...we do the same thing.

[vtgirl]

i agree with others that it can be a slippery slope. my dd age 7 has had a tv in her room(with just a vcr) for several years and we have in the past used it as a tool to ease bedtime(esp. after she weaned at 2yo).
it became a problem at different times (she would stay awake and request more and more videos -http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duck.gif my own fault - i know!!!) and we removed it for a while and then came to an agreement about how much she could watch.

for a couple years now she has one video at bedtime and she will have the same one for weeks on end b/c she falls asleep within 15mins. i think it has reached the point where its habit and she's just following a routine.

she also has no problem just listening to music but does not like that every night.

as for the question about what to do when away from home, my experience is that camping provides its own entertainment and the ability to really tire them out. also, if its a huge issue, you could always get one of those little portable dvd players. and at other peoples homes - well most people have a tv if you really need it but i found that dd understood that other people don't have exactly the same stuff as we do and she was cool with it.

i know lots of people frown on tv in the bedroom but for the most part it has worked for us. i, too got worn out from laying down with her after nursing her to sleep for 2 years. i guess you should try be very clear about the time limit at the beginning so there is no confusion. they are old enough to understand "one video only", right?

FWIW our dd still ends up in our bed 3 or 4 nights out of 7 so you may not get them out of your bed completely!!

[limabean]

Originally Posted by amcal

Also, I don't see how creating a dependence on having to have me lay down with them is any different than creating a dependence on TV.

Really? I'm totally with you on the "after bedtime I want to go back downstairs and hang with DH" thing -- I'm the same way. But on the occasions when DS does have trouble falling asleep, I see a huge difference between me going and lying down with him to provide physical comfort and nurturing, and turning on the TV for him.

Maybe it just comes down to a personal philosophy about TV -- we do watch a fair amount in our house, but I've never believed in having televisions in bedrooms. We have one television, in the living room, so TV just isn't available (for any of us) as an option for a falling-asleep crutch. Sure, it makes it a little more difficult on the nights when DS needs some extra attention at bedtime, but I'm not willing to shift my values enough to put a TV in his bedroom just because of that. Lots of families do allow TVs in bedrooms and probably wouldn't have a problem with what you're suggesting -- it's just a difference of opinion, I guess.