need help w/ hostile OB -- UPDATE #36, update #62, birth story #71 - Page 5

[gratefulmama2isaac]

If it helps at all, I attended a very long and emotionally draining/difficult birth with my second client. After it was over, I said I was very glad it had not been the first birth I attended! All of the sadness and emotional hangover you are experiencing right now are completely normal. Even good births require processing, and it can take a long time for the doula to heal from a difficult birth. Give yourself some time, and remember what your sil said - that you had done a great job. It does not matter what anyone else in the family thinks, the woman whose labor you attended was very grateful for your presence, it sounds like. And it is very different that this was with family.
Let yourself heal a little bit, and trust that if you decide to continue, which it sounds like you should, the universe will bless you with a very different experience for your next birth!

[Christy1980]

thanks. I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I still haven't called b/c I don't want to disturn or interrupt them, or cry while talking to SIL. I think if they want to talk to me, they would call me...but I've been online, and we have dialup,lol, so maybe they have?? oh well, i guess I will call.

thanks for hanging in with me, guys. I know this thread started differently, and I know we are totally OT now, lol. I really appreciate the support here on MDC, that's why I had to post here as soon as I could. I figured you all would understand.

[MsBlack]

Yes, do call. You are family as well as their doula--and you can always say, when they answer, that you hope it's a good time to call, or would later be better?

Anyway, as far as hijacking your own thread--well, it was your own thread after all! Why not....

[Christy1980]

i tried calling, but neither of them answered, either of the phones.

I'm feeling better and I think part of my problem also stems from the fact that I am a perfectionist in my work, and I've never worked in this field before, and didn't know exactly what to expect, and it frustrated me a little...and also that I love my SIL so much, hearing what her so-called "loved ones" were saying about her was hurting MY feelings for her.

[Peppamint]

Honestly, it sounds to me like you did great with what you had to work with... and I'm glad for your SIL's sake that she's happy with how things happened for now.

It sounds like she was inhibited by being so surrounded by all those people... and how awful that they were making negative comments (esp in her hearing). I had a nurse who made comments like that during my first (and only hospital) birth and it was very discouraging for me.