This baby is never coming out

[Googy]

and I'm OK with that. I figure she'll come when she's ready. But my problem is that no one else in my life shares this philosophy.

I had an appointment today and actually asked for an internal just out of curiosity. : Anyway, I am 80% effaced but not dialated at all. I know these numbers often don't mean much, but I am interpreting this as I will most likely go overdue. I am honestly fine with this. I don't want to rush my daughter. I figure she knows when she should come and I should respect that.

But my DH, mom, grandmother, everyone is acting all disappointed. Making me feel like I am letting them down for not having this baby yet. And trying to freak me out that this baby will be too big for a VBAC (DD was 8 pounds 9 oz at 38 weeks). Its just kinda depressing and upsetting. I just want to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, enjoy my last days with one child and relaxing evenings in front of the TV and such. When the baby comes I will be so happy and not miss any of this, but I'm just trying to stay positive, you know?

[Dee-Groovy]

I know *exactly* how you feel. I'm overdue by 1 day or 4 days, depending on who you ask. Curiosity always gets to me & I've had internals at my last 3 OB appointments, only to find that I've been fingertip dilated for 3 weeks. :

I'm honestly OK with having the baby on the inside for a while longer, but everyone around me seems much more anxious about it. My mom kept insinuating that an earlier baby would be much smaller than a later baby until I finally sent her some stats about how growth practically stops after 38 weeks. I feel pretty good but I don't need other people messing with my head when I'm about to have a baby! I basically have to answer the phone by saying "no I haven't had the baby yet" and god help me if I need to call someone and my name shows up on caller ID. I know they're excited and basically mean well but wow, it's getting old already.

Phew. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better.

[Googy]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

Phew. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better.

Your vent made me feel a little better too! I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. It must be all the hormones--everytime I think about this I just want to burst into tears. Its so weird because I feel no pressure whatsoever from myself. Its feeling like I'm disappointing people or something that's upsetting me. Today DH made a comment that the baby coming so late was messing up his paternity leave, that he wouldn't be able to take as many days off because I am having the baby so late. Gee thanks.

[maisiedotes]

I wish I shared your feelings- I am still almost 3 weeks away and I am going to beg to be induced tomorrow. I want to have this baby! RIGHT NOW. Ya know, quit while I am ahead. I doubt my doctor will go for it- in fact, I expect the same reaction as when I asked her about doing a water birth- she said "NO F*&^# WAY!" (she said the F word though).

*sigh* I just want to be able to stop worrying!

[moonchiald]

I feel like this, too! Except, I am the one that is being impatient. I waited so long to get pregnant and waited through the whole long pregnancy and now that my due date has come and gone I WANT MY BABY!

I am getting the phone calls, and they are driving me crazy. Does my family really think that I would give birth and not call them?

[AKmomof2+1inNov]

I feel the same, I'll be 41 weeks tomorrow and my mom's been here since 10/23, so she's excited to meet her new grandchild, but I'm ok waiting since I don't have to leave on 11/30 and not see the baby again for almost a year.

And last night DH said to go into labor because he didn't want to go to work!

[Kontessa]

Hey, my labor support is actually MAD at me for trying to delay this baby. She clearly was not me last Friday night in all that pain over false labor for 12 hours! I am not ready and if baby was, baby would have come that night! My hubby is being really supportive at least when he calls. He actually said the longer baby stays in, the less time I have to do it all on my own. Isn't that sweet. Hubby should be home in about a month. Baby can not stay in that long, but hey, a girl can try right. I am finding peace in waiting, really odd. Baby will come when baby is ready and I just do not want more pain for nothing. I wish that on no one! Certainly no one here.

I do get the guilt though, I know friends and family mean well. But they are not me, not the baby, and really have no say.

You mamas just take care of yourselves ok! You know what you need better then anyone and if it is support, I hope you come here or can find it close by.

[dcgrl]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

My mom kept insinuating that an earlier baby would be much smaller than a later baby until I finally sent her some stats about how growth practically stops after 38 weeks.

Dee, would you mind sending some of those stats this way?

[Heather Marie]

I am definately of the thought that the baby will come when s/he is ready. I am just baffled by how imaptient everyone else is and how they in some odd way end up making me feel guilty. I am not even due until Saturday!

MY MIL called last night and left a message on our answering machine asking if we are any closer to having a baby yet and very matter of factly stated that it was her job to bug us and it was in the rule book in case we didn't know it : ! DH called her back tonight and said she may call to ask how we are doing, but may not call just to see if I am in labor or if the baby has been born or to 'bug' us! Weeks ago we called to get all phone numbers they may be reached at...work, home, cell. WTH did they think we wanted those for???

It seems that even after you tell people you will call them once the baby is born they feel the need to remind you 15 more times. Everytime I have called anyone this week before they even say hi, they scream out, "Are you calling because the baby is here?".

[Dee-Groovy]

Originally Posted by Googy

Today DH made a comment that the baby coming so late was messing up his paternity leave, that he wouldn't be able to take as many days off because I am having the baby so late. Gee thanks.

Aww Googy that sucks - he can't rearrange the timing? Childbirth isn't something you can schedule (usually) & it seems like his employer could be a little flexible. It's great that you're not pressuring yourself about giving birth! We have enough external pressure without putting it on ourselves. Take care of yourself & your baby, she'll come out when you're both ready.

Originally Posted by AKmomof2+1inNov

And last night DH said to go into labor because he didn't want to go to work!

Yup my DH is mentally already on pat leave. It's kinda nice b/c he wants to stick close by in case I go into labor, but OTOH I need him to work so he can take time off when the baby is actually here!

Originally Posted by dcgrl

Dee, would you mind sending some of those stats this way?

Sure Rebecca I sent her this chart from Babycenter.com. It's an exaggeration to say that growth stops at 38 weeks, but even at 43 weeks the average baby isn't ginormous - well under 8.5 pounds.

[iloveoregon]

Originally Posted by Googy

But my DH, mom, grandmother, everyone is acting all disappointed. Making me feel like I am letting them down for not having this baby yet.

Thank you for posting/saying this! I was feeling this way too last week and not sure if it was normal or not. I haven't been worried about going past due date, but with everyone so anxious and constantly asking, I was feeling guilty and anxious too. My mother keeps making comments like "the 3rd would be a good day to have a baby", then that days passes and now she says "the 8th would be a good day". She thinks it's funny when i get mad. And why do people not realize that we WILL call them when the baby is born? Haven't I already assured them of that a million times? I'm getting better at handling it-- getting more blunt in my comments...

thanks for letting me vent too...

[Googy]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

Aww Googy that sucks - he can't rearrange the timing? Childbirth isn't something you can schedule (usually) & it seems like his employer could be a little flexible.

Not really. He is an accountant at a major international accounting firm and they have "busy seasons" that cannot be rearranged since they are based on federal corporate tax deadlines. Right now things are relatively slow, so he has more flexibility to take time off. Soon things start ramping up, though, for the spring deadlines, believe it or not. Its not that his employer won't let him take time off (he actually works for two older women who have children themselves and totally "get" that he needs time off to help me and take care of the kids), but that the work needs to get done by a certain time and he's the only one who can do it. They are all assigned to specific clients (corporations), and he's the only person at his level who knows the specific issues of his particular clients--does that make sense?

Anyway, so now the pressure is on me to produce this baby soon before busy season starts again. Ugh.

[Googy]

I'm both sorry and glad that this thread hit a chord for so many women in this DDC. Sorry that everyone is going through this, but glad that we are going through it together, you know? I guess we are just going to have to stay strong and get our support from each other!

[Curlita]

I'm with you ladies. Haven't even hit my due date yet, and I'm already tired of people asking about my contractions, etc. Baby can take his time as far as I'm concerned. I would like to get in a few more sessions of prenatal yoga and continue destressing from work!

I just think it's weird that people assume you can't wait to be done with being pregnant.

When did pregnancy become a spectator sport????

[Dee-Groovy]

Googy, your husband's job situation makes sense but you're not even technically due for another week, right? Gosh I wish there was some polite way of telling people to back off, at least til you're overdue. I personally worry that external stress will cause internal stress and delay birth even more, but I have warped reasoning like that. I'm glad you started this thread too - I was starting to think I was a real oddball for being so calm and (reasonably) comfortable at this point. Sure I'll be happy when my daughter arrives and my body becomes recognizable again. For now I'm coasting and trying to enjoy my last days of life as I've always known it.

Erica that's a great description - pregnancy as a spectator sport! It's really fun to cheerily say "last Saturday" when strangers ask when you're due. Store employees start following you around like your water's going to break any second and they'll personally have to rush you to the hospital. What have movies done to people?

[Curlita]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

It's really fun to cheerily say "last Saturday" when strangers ask when you're due. Store employees start following you around like your water's going to break any second and they'll personally have to rush you to the hospital. What have movies done to people?

This makes me want to go to the mall tomorrow and wander around the department store, pausing occasionally to moan and clutch at my abdomen.

[Googy]

Ha! We went out for dinner the other night and the man at the front literally thanked me for not having the baby in the restaurant! Yeah, cause she could just slide out suddenly and without warning! I wish it were so easy!

[NaomiMcC]

Originally Posted by Curlita

This makes me want to go to the mall tomorrow and wander around the department store, pausing occasionally to moan and clutch at my abdomen.

Hmmmm....I may do this....sounds like fun!!! I'll letcha know what happens

[monocyte]

Waiting is the hardest part...I'm turning into a hermit, I haven't left the house since Sunday (except to go to the pedi, chiro, and mw/hosp). I don't answer the phone bc I'm sick of the "when are you going to have this baby..." as if I am ultimately the decision maker.

Googy -
We are against the clock a bit as well as far as DH job goes; he's been mostly working from home (2x this week already!!) since I have cx's all night long that never seem to go anywhere - but, he does have a trip planned for like the 25 of November...and I could not even have the baby by then given my track record (due yesterday - or it was the "official" date). Obviously he know's he'll be divorced if he does go; but, ugh, I was really hoping he'd be home to help out for a bit. I'm worried about driving DS to and from school since I'm a bleeder and am fighting anemia already.

Today was the day DH picked in his work pool...I'm not feeling that he's going to win. :

[TulikaEma]

'm joining with the PPs and saying thank you for posting this thread! Its nice to know that others are going through the same thing, even though I'm also sad that so many people are putting so much pressure on all of us.
I too feel like everyone but my DH is dissapointed that this baby hasn't come yet--probably because lots of people have said so directly. What happened to being happy that the pregnancy is progressing well, and that all indications are that this baby is healthy?
I've stopped answering the phone, and am just staying at home to avoid peskly strangers who look at me like I am ready to explode amniotic fluid. Its as if none of these people have ever seen a pregnant woman before, or known anyone whose given birth. I know its special and miraculous and all--but sheesh!, its hard NOT to tell people to just get a grip.
So--wishing everyone healthy, fully cooked babies who come in their own time.
Oh--one more grip--I pointed out to my mom (who has called me EVERY DAY for the past 5 weeks--yes, when the baby was preterm) to ask if I'm in labor, that constantly asking is not helpful, and that she's not the only one who does this--she responded by trying to lay a major guilt trip on me about how everyone is just so excited and happy for us about this baby..that I should be grateful for thier interest--ok, a good point, but why can't their interest be directed at our health and happiness, and not just labor...