The importance of 'catching'? - Page 2

[barefootpoetry]

Originally Posted by MamaFranklin

DH intended to catch... but she shot out and across the tub until she ran out of tether.

: I had a great mental image of a bungee-jumping baby when I read your post.

[crittersmom]

My other babies the Dr was always the first to touch and I never got to see or touch the head as it was coming out because of all the drapes and stuff.It even took awhile before they put the baby on my belly and then it was a quick swoop for inspection by others before the baby came back to me.
This time I felt his head before he emerged and he came so quickly that I caught his head and my mom who had just come into the room caught the rest of his body and she passed him through to me since I was on hands and knees.It was so incredible to feel him before he was even really here.I still think about it and my mom still looks down at her hands in awe and says I caught my grandchild.I think that is such an incredible gift and I am glad that she was there.

[Astrogirl]

Originally Posted by MommaGreenBean

I see. It's more of a first to hold/control issue (in some cases) isn't it?

I didn't get that impression at all while i was reading through the posts. To me it seems more like a euphoria/excitement issue for most people. To say its a control issue is like oversimplifying I think - control is simply mental. That may be the initial motivation, perhaps for some people, but i suspect theres still a lot more to it. There's another, unsaid aspect to it - its mental, physical and almost spiritual. I can't speak for the other women, but for me there was this certain raw electricity as you feel and support your baby as they are birthing - the minute my hand touched her warm head I felt it and there was just no way I could let go after that. Its very hard to describe, but it was much much more and very different than a control or possessive thing, and I hope someone else will back me up on that!

I am a very nonpossessive person when it comes to birth or kids. I don't mind being touched by strangers, or even having strangers come up to my babies. I never would have thought it was important to catch the baby at all. But with my 2nd pregnancy, I thought about it and wanted to try it. My midwifes encouraged me on this thought and i did it and now that I have, I would never do it any other way for any future births. Its VERY important to me now.

[guest9921]

^ Its definitely a very ingrained control thing in many OB practices.
It relates to the mentality that OB's save women from childbirth.

Our culture panders to it - notice all of the 'Omg Dangerous Unexpected Birth' news articles that come out. Is the mother usually given 'credit' or is the person who swooped in and 'delivered' her?

[MommaGreenBean]

Originally Posted by Katfka

I feel most put the 'catcher' in this hero light - and it is irritating, to say the least.

The majority of the few people who know of our UC plans ask me if DP is going to 'deliver the baby.' He is aware he will do no 'delivering' of me, and I will be birthing the baby.

~~

That said, I hope to catch. I feel as though I'll want to labor alone.

My DH plays into that, as a joke. He knows very well that I did all the work, but he will say something about how much money I should have paid him for catching DD. But when he's around his friends he downplays it, he says he just came in and caught. He even unwrapped the cord on the way out, he must be specially trained

Originally Posted by dantesmama

I caught my own baby, and honestly, that was the most amazing experience of my life. After one or two pushes I reached inside my vagina and felt Jasper's head (and hand!) a couple of inches in. Doing that brought me into kind of a different realm, wherever that place is between being born and unborn - I can't find the words to explain exactly what I mean, but it was pretty out-there. Cradling him as he emerged and then immediately bringing him to my breast, with no one else touching him in the interim, just seemed like a natural progression from the womb to the world. It was about an hour until I handed him to DP for the first time (I was still on the floor and needed to lie down in bed).

That is beautiful!

Originally Posted by MamaFranklin

DH intended to catch... but she shot out and across the tub until she ran out of tether.

Originally Posted by Astrogirl

I didn't get that impression at all while i was reading through the posts. To me it seems more like a euphoria/excitement issue for most people.

I understand that. It was different for me, I guess. I was tired I'd felt her head for the past day (I was in labor for a while, she was posterior) and I was ready to be done with it. It seemed kind of down to business to me. I loved it, I was very excited to meet her and loved her absolutely, but I think the length of my labor might have interfered. if it had been hours rather than days, I would imagine I'd have felt differently

Cara

[momma4fun]

I really like the idea of just the earth catching the baby. Or a soft blanket. Or the bed where it was conceived. With mama in various positions the babe could come out nice and easy wherever it lands.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

It's just cool. My husband caught our first, and I caught our second. Everyone assumes a doctor or midwife will "deliver your baby." When mom or dad does it, to me it's another step in demedicalizing the whole process.

[Ruthla]

I think people are often still in the medical mindset of "delivering the baby" and saying "catch" instead of "deliver" is a move towards birth empowerment. But it still has an air of "somebody had to be there for the birth to happen."

There's nothing wrong with DP or Mom or sister or a close friend to be with the birthing woman and to "catch" the baby if that's what feels right at the moment of birth. But the implication that "somebody needs to catch the baby" is IMO a leftover from the medical model of birth.

Nobody "caught" DS. He plopped out onto the bedroom floor (which I'd prepared with several towels for cushioning and a chux pad on top) while DP watched from the doorway in awe and the big sisters were in the next room playing on the computer.

[Intertwined]

Originally Posted by momma4fun

I really like the idea of just the earth catching the baby. Or a soft blanket. Or the bed where it was conceived. With mama in various positions the babe could come out nice and easy wherever it lands.

I had to : at this. My baby was conceived in the middle of the living room floor!

[MommaGreenBean]

Yeah... birthing our next one on the couch might be a little messy co sleeping... what can I say?...

[Romana]

Originally Posted by MommaGreenBean

I see. It's more of a first to hold/control issue (in some cases) isn't it?

I don't think so. I think it has more to do with not hideously interrupting the natural birth and bonding process by collecting and removing the newborn from the mother. And that was more the drift I got from reading the posts that the above.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I'd rather catch mine than let them plop onto the floor Though of course they can be born that way. I have a video of squatting births and in one the baby just squirts right out onto the bed. People are always blown away by that esp if they're used to the head-yanking births on Discovery Health.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by Romana9+2

I don't think so. I think it has more to do with not hideously interrupting the natural birth and bonding process by collecting and removing the newborn from the mother. And that was more the drift I got from reading the posts that the above.

:

[crittersmom]

I wanted the first people to touch my baby to actually care about the beauty of the moment.My first was like that even though it was a hospital.The OB and nurse told DS welcome and gave us all hugs.My second was so assembly lined that it never felt like the miracle it should have been and I had no family with me so I should have felt more support.I want to be the first or whoever touches my baby first to feel the miracle and aknowledge it.

[onelilguysmommy]

i wanted to be the first to touch him as wel. since i was old enough to realize that my mom being asleep (general-emergency c) when i was born meant lots of people who didnt care about me - and my grandparents saw, touched and held me before her it is just so impersonal, and ...ugh. most people whos job it is to be a doc/nurse/mw have no problem with it and force themselves to take over and do whatever, and....
it has really bothered me. imo it should be the mom or dad ( or a friend, something, but really imo the mom) who is the first to see and hold ther own child.
my first, the doc, and i think 2 nurses held him before me, and im still upset about it.
my second, i had a uc and i caught (on my knees in the water) and im sooo much more happy about that!

[indignantgirl]

I knew I *could* catch my own baby (and I touched them many times as they were crowning, and as I was stretching my labia around their head to avoid tearing, etc...), but I enjoy the ritual of birthing the baby into my husband's waiting hands. It's an amazing act of trust and intimacy, and really gives the feeling of having come a full circle.

One of these times I may catch the baby, but so far I've done it the way I've felt led to.

[nolonger]

It's important to me that I catch this baby or else birth her on to a pile of pillows or towels or into the water.

dd will be available if I can't follow through; I'm a bit nervous about it because I gave over SO much control to the midwives for my first three births. I don't know who caught d and ds--I'm asuming it was the mws because exy was such a nuisance and so in the way and so fidgety, especially with ds, whoich was a nice, comfortable labour that I would have really enjoyed if he hadn't kept rushing me because he didn't want to miss the ball game on teevee.

With one birth, the midwife forceably moved my hands down to touch my baby's head while it was crowing and kept saying in a conescending tone of voice, "Do you feel that? That's your BABY!" and all I could think was "Stop touching me, you b*tch, I don't care what it is any more, I just want this thing out of my body!"

I certainly hope I feel differently with a UC and 15-20 more years on me, but like I said, I've got dd in an emergency just in case, and I really think it's because the bonding/birthing process was messed up a bit with all those people around.

Overall, I still think I had pretty good experiences with the midwife-assisted births, but I am learning that it's okay not to demean myself or trivialize the things they did that totally bugged me. They meant well, but for pete's sake when you trust someone to be around you at such a private and vulnerable part of your life, it's okay to get pissed off when they steal your watch (even if it was an accident), throw away one of your pillows (even if it WAS bloodstained) without telling you, and rearrange your living room furniture without asking permission!

[njbeachgirl]

Originally Posted by BinahYeteirah

When I had a midwife, I felt a disconnect from the lower half of my body, as if she was "in charge" down there. I don't think I fully experienced what was happening as my baby emerged, although what I did experience was amazing!

:

DH or I will be catching this next one I hope. I don't think DH will want to. He's more of a watcher, lol.

[sunnymw]

I don't know if DH will want to catch this one... I think it would really help him be more bonded and into the experience, and of course closer to the LO... then again, if I'm not birthing hands & knees, I'd rather just do it myself. I was the last person to hold DS, after every single family member, and it wasn't even a c/s.

[JesseMomme]

I guess it's important to a lot of people because there is some symbolism going on with the act itself. Catching by itself isn't as important, ds3 landed on the bed and he was cool. Dh caught dd, and I don't want to say that is the reason for their special bond, but Dh does have that extra special memory of catching his own dd, and I'm glad for that.