Active Alert kids

[Kleine Hexe]

Let's talk about our "active alert children." I'm reading the book Living With Your Active Alert Child and it describes my second child perfectly.

Two days ago my 3 yr ds smashed a glass beer bottle in the back yard on a shovel. Why? Because he wanted to see how it would break, he told me. When I told him he could never ever break glass again because it's dangerous he said, "No, it's otay, mama, I no getted hurt. See?" as he lifts his hands to me. I go on to explain that he *could* get hurt and he rolls his eyes and says, "I no care, mama cause I knowed I not get hurt."

I can't begin to express how terrifying the thought is of him smashing glass with a shovel. It's a miracle he and no one else in the yard was hurt. I'm sure there's still glass out there in the grass somewhere.....

[greenmama]

Well, I don't actually think my dd would qualify as an active alert child but I think the reality of children learning about the many dangerous things they can do without getting hurt can apply to all children.

The risk assessment described here is more for an older child, but maybe you can find a way to work it through with a younger, maybe not. I suspect for your son it is really more an issue of impulse control than risk assessment, which to my way of thinking just means being glued to young son for a couple of years. Hard but maybe necessary.

There are many things that are dangerous that we do all the time with out getting hurt. Run equipment without safety gear, climb rocks without appropriate gear. Bike/skateboard etc. There are alot of times that I tell my daughter, if you do "A" you might get hurt and you might not, but if you do it 50 times you probably will get hurt eventually.

We talk about what type of injuries are likely for the possible activity. Some times we decide that there is a chance that she will break an arm or leg, but its not that big of a chance (ie jumping off high rocks or trees) Right now she is learning to use a pocket knife we talk about how to use it safely, but she is aware that there is always a chance she will cut herself.

Sometimes its a high chance but a small impact- those we sometimes do.
Other things the chances are low but the impact high ie: a car accident. We never ride without a seatbelt.
Other times the risk is to someone other than yourself. It would not be fair to others to undertake a risk that could hurt someone else. This is probably the trump that I would use in your glass smashing example.

Good luck

[Needle in the Hay]

I haven't read that book but I probably should. I think it's kids who are spirited plus high energy, right? So far I've read the book about spirited children and the one about explosive children and they've both been helpful.

[Kleine Hexe]

Yes, spirited children with lots of energy is a way to put it. The book is great.
It helped me understand that my ds simply does not recognize boundaries.

Greenmama, that's a good way to talk about danger and risk assesment. He has broken his arm by jumping off a ledge and he has told me he will never do that again. And yes, that impulse control is about impossible for him.