I don't think I will ask for birthday ideas again...

[Rainbowbird]

I often ask moms what their child is into before I go shopping for a gift.

I asked one mom last week for ideas and she gave me just one certain item her DD might like.

Well, I couldn't find the item and thought it might also be too expensive, so I bought one of my fall-back ideas: a bird feeder that sticks to your window and some birdseed.

I emailed her to let her know that I hadn't bought gift A (in case she had her heart set on it) and had bought the birdfeeder instead. I said I hoped that would be alright and to let me know if she already had one etc.

I guess I was naive...I wasn't really thinking she would tell me not to bring it to the party.

Sigh...she said, "Well, we have a big birdfeeder in our yard so I don't think she needs one."

So I have to go shopping again. I can keep the birdfeeder for another child, or might even give it to my DD for Xmas. But....next time I am just buying a gift I think the child will like and if they don't, the parents can return it!

Live and learn!

[AutumnMama]

Wow. How rude of her!

[Rainbowbird]

Originally Posted by AutumnMama

Wow. How rude of her!

That's how I feel. Although, I did ask her if it would be okay. But I guess I was banking on the fact that she would say fine. Which is what I always say if someone asks me. Oh well. What can I do? Now I really can't bring it. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

[LynnE73]

Totally rude of her! We almost always get a book as a gift for parties.

[True Blue]

Wow that was rude! She could have at least been gracious and returned it herself. Geesh!

[Rainbowbird]

A book is a great idea. Thank you for the comments. I don't even really want to go this party. DS isn't even friends with this girl, but being four wants to go since the invitation was really cool....of course he wants to see all his friends, the whole class is invited. So I said yes. But now I'm kinda regretting it.

[jstar]

wow that was crazy-rude! give it to her anyway and don't say a thing. a gift is a gift! if she says anything to you just say you didn't have time to go buy another present and you thought the girl might like this one because it would be more interactive for her.


my step-MIL just asked me for christmas ideas and i wrote her a long email list of our kids interests (and my wish for more natural unleaded toys). i felt really guilty after i sent it like....it was rude of me to be so specific. but she emailed again that they had gone shopping with our list and had a lot of fun. so that was nice! i would obviously have appreciated anything they bought.

[Hannahsmummy]

It's a lovely gift and way out of line for the mother to make a rude comment like that. I also think it's rude that she essentially "asked" for a specific item when asked for ideas instead of just giving generic things the birthday child is into.
Sigh, I hope the party goes better than the encounter so far has!

P.S. My daughter would love the bird feeder and yes we already have two others in the garden!!

[celestialdreamer]

I would either go and bring the birdfeeder or a book or something. Seriously that was incredibly rude of her!

[Rainbowbird]

The one thing this confirms for me is that I have good reason to feel like I don't care for this woman. She has always rubbed me slightly the wrong way, perhaps my intuition knew something I didn't....

[onlyzombiecat]

I don't think she was rude to answer your question honestly. She probably thought you wanted to know since you asked if they had one. Maybe her child is scared of birds.

I wouldn't bother asking about gifts when there is a birthday party. Have your dc pick something out for their friend.

Books are nice gifts IMO.
Art supplies are also nice.

[Marcee]

wow...

[apmama2myboo]

see, it's rude attitudes like that that would make me get something like Moon Sand or something messy the kid would love and the mom would get crabby about, just to get a dig in. but then, i'm pregnant and hormonal and sick to boot, so that's what I'd do. For sure art supplies. How about some NICE MESSY FINGERPAINTS?

[Rainbowbird]

Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat

I don't think she was rude to answer your question honestly. She probably thought you wanted to know since you asked if they had one. Maybe her child is scared of birds.

I wouldn't bother asking about gifts when there is a birthday party. Have your dc pick something out for their friend.

Books are nice gifts IMO.
Art supplies are also nice.

I'm sure she didn't intend to be rude. Clueless though. I'm sure Emily Post would NOT approve!!! LOL

[Rainbowbird]

Originally Posted by apmama2myboo

see, it's rude attitudes like that that would make me get something like Moon Sand or something messy the kid would love and the mom would get crabby about, just to get a dig in. but then, i'm pregnant and hormonal and sick to boot, so that's what I'd do. For sure art supplies. How about some NICE MESSY FINGERPAINTS?

You are hilarious!

[Ok]

Time for a trip to the dollar store for some fun, educational stuff w/ lots of little pieces (marbles, money sets w/ coins, etc)

[gen25gen]

I think I would have to go back and get a really loud annoying electronic toy...wow...rude. Maybe some finger paints (the nonwashable kind) to go with it...:

The bird feeder is a wonderful idea for a gift! I would not have thought of it.

www.genstyleliving.com

[adtake]

How about a book on manners for kids....help her avoid her moms behaviors??

[Ruthla]

Well, what was she supposed to say? You DID ask if the gift would be appropriate, and she answered honestly that it isn't something her DD would enjoy.

Other people might be upset if their gift isn't appreciated or used, and would want to know if they should get something else instead. Maybe she assumed that was your POV when you asked her about the gift you'd already purchased.

[transformed]

I wonder if she *knew* how that would come across before she said it. LOL. I think you should have just brought it to the party with gift recept and not told her about it. You asked for an idea, not for something you would definatly definatlty buy her, kwim?