I am honestly very dependent on my husband. He thinks I am amazingly strong and I swear he finds me never more sexy then when I am being mother to our children. It is so hard though without him here. I keep trying to connect to a part of me not so pampered. The raw primal part that says a mother can do all this alone and well. This shall not be the last deployment. I have so many lessons to learn.
The Egyptian Goddess Amaunet was forgetten by her mate and yet she was still seen as a creation Goddess, one of fertility, and alone she helped the great people of the time come into their own paths. She was a mother alone and she was strong, not bitter, played her part and needed no one.
What does this have to do with all of you? In that moment where the pain is so much more then we are, that place between worlds where our soul touches the baby before it slides from us into the world, we at once more alone since our births and yet have all those eneregies of those we love and love us right there in that darkness/light. In that moment no one can do it for us. Too often a birth of trama can cause us to leave part of ourselves in that place. I know, this might sound odd to some people, but I had another dream of it last night. Dreamed of that moment and place where I could not think and seemed to have no control over anything in the universe. I did not handle it well with grace with my son. Maybe I left something there and forgot about it till now. Am I scared of it? YUP. Thus my bed rest. So I am trying to deal. Thanks for letting me share here.
Yes, I think too much. LOL
The Egyptian Goddess Amaunet was forgetten by her mate and yet she was still seen as a creation Goddess, one of fertility, and alone she helped the great people of the time come into their own paths. She was a mother alone and she was strong, not bitter, played her part and needed no one.
What does this have to do with all of you? In that moment where the pain is so much more then we are, that place between worlds where our soul touches the baby before it slides from us into the world, we at once more alone since our births and yet have all those eneregies of those we love and love us right there in that darkness/light. In that moment no one can do it for us. Too often a birth of trama can cause us to leave part of ourselves in that place. I know, this might sound odd to some people, but I had another dream of it last night. Dreamed of that moment and place where I could not think and seemed to have no control over anything in the universe. I did not handle it well with grace with my son. Maybe I left something there and forgot about it till now. Am I scared of it? YUP. Thus my bed rest. So I am trying to deal. Thanks for letting me share here.
Yes, I think too much. LOL
