What to do? no friends for his party

[jaxinsmom]

So dp and I moved to a new city a little while ago. I work at home, dp is in graduate school and ds goes to day care 2 days a week (He'll be turning three in January).
We have NO friends here with kids. Ds has some 'friends' at his day care, but they're all little, and I only see them periodically (during pick up or drop off). I'm trying to think of how to make his third birthday *special* since
1)it will be the end of January and probably FREEZING (we're in Ottawa, ON)and
2) Baby #2 is due a week later...

He is SOOOOOOO social. He loves kids, anytime he sees someone his age (or there abouts) he looks at me and asks "is that my friend"? I really want to have a fun (friend filled) birthday for him, but have no idea how to do it.

It feels weird to invite the kids from his day care, since I'll have to then invite the parents...awkard.

Any suggestions??

[sarah_bella1050]

It sounds to me like you have a couple of months to get out and make some friends. How about taking him to the park or storytime at the library? Maybe look up some play groups? Do you have a craigslist for your area? You could post there on in a free local paper, like a News & Review, that you would like to start up a playgroup for preschool age kids. I know that it's hard to get out there and but it's really important for your son to have friends.

Maybe the next time you pick your ds up from dc you could stay a few minutes and meet his friends. If you want your child to have friends it's really YOU that needs to put in the effort.

[LynnS6]

How about inviting some of the kids from daycare over for a playdate? Ask the teachers at daycare who he plays with/seems to get along well with.

I've been invited (and invited) kids from daycare to birthday parties. Yes, the parents come and stay, but who cares? You can invite 2-3 kids and he'll have a blast!

[jaxinsmom]

I think I'm just a bit thrown off at the idea of being 10 months pregnant and entertaining a group of 3 year olds and their parents...who I don't know. I know it's totally selfish...
I will make an effort. I will.

[coleslaw]

What about an early birthday party? I don't know what you celebrate in December or if it would be too much, but my dd's birthday is in Dec and we've always had some friends over during that busy season. For her third birthday, we combined family and a few friends. I think at that age, less is more.

[kwg]

NAK-----

maybe tke something to his daycare for a "party" there? and then do something/go somewhere fun and special on the big day?

[annethcz]

None of my kids had a friends party when they turned 3. Just going to the park/zoo/museum and having birthday cake at home was more than enough to make the day *special* for them.

[Rainbowbird]

Originally Posted by jaxinsmom

So dp and I moved to a new city a little while ago. I work at home, dp is in graduate school and ds goes to day care 2 days a week (He'll be turning three in January).
We have NO friends here with kids. Ds has some 'friends' at his day care, but they're all little, and I only see them periodically (during pick up or drop off). I'm trying to think of how to make his third birthday *special* since
1)it will be the end of January and probably FREEZING (we're in Ottawa, ON)and
2) Baby #2 is due a week later...

He is SOOOOOOO social. He loves kids, anytime he sees someone his age (or there abouts) he looks at me and asks "is that my friend"? I really want to have a fun (friend filled) birthday for him, but have no idea how to do it.

It feels weird to invite the kids from his day care, since I'll have to then invite the parents...awkard.

Any suggestions??

There is nothing wrong with inviting kids from daycare! It makes sense--these are the kids he knows the best. Ask him who he would like to invite, or ask his teacher for ideas. It's pretty commonplace for the parents to not really know each other that well in these situations. That's okay--it's for the kids, not for the adults. I'm sure he would be thrilled if some kids from his daycare were there, and then he would bond even more with them. Good luck!

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by jaxinsmom

I think I'm just a bit thrown off at the idea of being 10 months pregnant and entertaining a group of 3 year olds and their parents...who I don't know. I know it's totally selfish...
I will make an effort. I will.

It is NOT totally selfish. This sounds like it's not something you want to do or are comfortable with so don't do it. It's also not something you need to do so find an alternative. I bet your son would be just as happy to go somewhere (library, museum, play area at the shopping mall) and then come home and have a cake and ice cream. Or take him out to one of those restaurants where they will make a big deal about it being his birthday and sing to him or something.

[Lingmom]

I agree... at 3, the formal birthday party that you're thinking of with a cake and friends would still be more for you than for him. He can have a fantastic time with just you and never feel like he missed out on anything. There are many more birthday parties to come!

[runes]

as a pp mentioned, taking the timing of your pregnancy into consideration, if you still really wanted to throw a party i suggest doing it around the holidays instead. it might be a nice way to meet some families in your area.

but honestly, is there a children's museum/aquarium or an indoor playground that you can have a fun family day for him? keep it low key and don't beat yourself up over it, mama.

[sunanthem]

I agree with pp, keep it simple, take him out somewhere kid filled, maybe and have special foods and a present. And if you cant handle inviting the whole class, maybe buddy up a bit to 2 families you like and have 2 friends over. That's really all the fun they need at 3.

[AdInAZ]

Invite his daycare buddies. Parents at parties are fun!! They talk amongst themselves and do NOT expect to be entertained. After all, its a party for a 3 year old, right? I had a party for my 5 y.o. this summer about a week before I gave birth to ds. Not a problem! (Although I was completely WIPED OUT for the rest of the day ) The kids entertained themselves. Parents were happy to chat, and everyone got to know eachother a little better. DD absolutely had a great time. We did the same at her 3 y.o. party. Don't worry! Whatever you choose to do, your son will have fun.

[Lil'M]

When my kids were that age, I did parties at preschool. I worked it out with the school. One year I brought in this puppeteer who did a show for the whole school and then we did cupcakes and singing with just dd1's class. For dd2 we brought in a group called something like amazing animals where they bring different small animals for the kids to pet and learn about. This was done with just her class because it worked better with that size. Another year I did a Blues Clues party in class where we did pin the spot on blue and decorate your own cupcakes (I know, a lot of cupcakes . All of my dc's friends at that time were at school, so it was much easier to do it that way.

[dharmamama]

I agree with two previously raised points:

1) Three year olds do not need birthday parties

and

2) If you really want to have a party for him, invite people to a place that is not your home.

dm

[octobermom]

I have a SUPER social DD very extroverted when it comes to relationships we still at age 5 work on her totally melting down when her friends need to leave or she can't totally be in charge. However we have yet to have a birthday party with guests. (this year her grandparents were there) mostly because we can't afford to have any. She has had a blast at every birthday. She can recall details from every birthday in a positive way through out the year. We ussually do a morning at a park go out for pizza after and latter at home we do a cake and a few gifts.

[happyhippiemama]

I'm with the mamas that say it sounds like a LOT for you. And totally unnecessary.

BUT, if you really do want him to have a friend-filled party, you really can invite kids from his daycare. My DD had been in her daycare for about 4 months before her 4th birthday. I paid attention to some of the names she tossed around, and asked her teachers who she seemed to pal with at school. Once I had a list of names (I think we invited 5-6, 3 came), I made invites and put them in the other kids' boxes for the parents to gather up.

In the invites, I essentially made fun of myself, and handwrote a little note off to the side saying, "I'm not exactly sure how you're supposed to go about inviting people that you don't know to a party, but DD talks frequently and fondly about your DC, and our family would love to get to know you better. Feel free to call or email me if you have any questions or would just like to talk a little before the party."

Worked pretty well - one of the little girls that came has divorcing but amiable parents who both attended as well. DP and the other father get together with the girls during his custody weeks, and the mother and I get have playdates during her custody weeks. And we all went trick-or-treating together!!

I'm oddly shy, for such an extrovert, and never would've taken the initiative to get to know any parents without DD's party as the catalyst.

Have fun!

[Rainbowbird]

It sounds like the OP's child is a bit of an extrovert and would like friends at his party. So inviting one or two from daycare sounds like a good compromise--he can have pals and mom won't feel overwhelmed with a roomful of people.

Not all three year olds need a birthday party with friends, but some do, or would certainly prefer it, let's put it that way. My son is an extrovert and by age 3 he was already clearly determined to have his buddies there. We had a small party at home with about 4 children.

I think if you have a more introverted child who may not be quite as social yet, it would be easier to say we are just going to the zoo, etc. But that wouldn't work for every child.

[mamatowill]

I live in Ottawa so I was wondering if you could invite a few of the daycare friends to Cosmic Adventures to run around- it can be pricey but it would save you from having to entertain everyone. You can also go to one of the museums . For my DS's third birthday there was not a big party and he is an extrovert. Something was done at daycare and I took him to the Nature museum which he loves.

[Iris' Mom]

Originally Posted by Rainbowbird

There is nothing wrong with inviting kids from daycare! It makes sense--these are the kids he knows the best. Ask him who he would like to invite, or ask his teacher for ideas. It's pretty commonplace for the parents to not really know each other that well in these situations. That's okay--it's for the kids, not for the adults. I'm sure he would be thrilled if some kids from his daycare were there, and then he would bond even more with them. Good luck!

I agree. Plus, it's a good way for you to meet people and make friends too.