Birth Pools and naughty MWs again -- gahhhh!

[GinaRae]

Again, like you all need to hear it again, I am a big girl. I am tall and very overweight.

The MWs are pushing the Aqua Doula. $200 rental plus $25 for the sheet. FINE. Okay.

Last week the MW said they were all taken right now. I didn't know she meant the ADs were taken but they still had the Bassine and others. When you say, "All of the birth pools are in use right now" I take it literally.

So we ordered the fishy pool I have been recommended.

Today the one naughty midwife just absolutely wigged out over the pool! She was very forceful in saying that it is NOT the right pool for me and it will be a mistake. She tells my husband, "For a girl like her."

*snort*

Apparently another big girl used it and water spilled all over and didn't cover her tummy and she couldn't get leverge to push.

Well, sorry, but the fishy pool fits into my budget better. It's ordered and delivered. I tried it without water and WHO KNOWS what will happen in labor. But I have decided to go with it.

I don't think many pools will be all that great for me. I am SUCH a princess.

But I was pretty torqued with her aggressive behavior about it. The other MW came in and heard and she was much less aggressive about her wish for us to use something else. She made it clear we should use something else, but without being combative.

The naughty MW was pushing a cervical exam again too. No matter what I say. But I prevailed. I don't need one, darnit!

I asked her about interventions too (before the good MW arrived) if I should need them. She was telling me about castor oil and I told her NO WAY. She was pushy about it and seemed to not validate my feelings that diarrhea would be BAD for me, I would be dehydrated and the 'roids would be excruciating (I have naughty 'roids when I have loose stool) and that I don't trust the method. She was just off kilter today with her attidtude. Yuck.

Oh! We told them we ordered the net from the place we ordered the homebirth kit. Again, miss thang wigged out! But the other MW didn't. She was like, "Who cares? I can reach in. It's not the handle that matters, it's the net/strainer." She's told me before she's pretty resilient.

I like her. I wish I had all along. She's really come out as wonderful! I'd always thought she was too aggressive and scattered. Guess I've grown into her. The other one though is super inconsistent and I don't trust her. I will be calling the one I want first to be sure she knows I am in labor and gets there.

She knows that. I do not trust the naughty MW to know what to do, to not be pushy, etc. I don't want more interventions or stress than necessary.

[Kontessa]

Are you going to try the pool with water in it soon? I might deliver before you and I think we got the same one. I know I am not AS big as you are but I can at least let you know how it goes. All those fancy ones look too SMALL to me, I would feel stuck! I got the big fishy one! Hope my water heater can handle it or people will be boiling water for me Worse that happens is I do lean too hard and there is some water to clean up, ok maybe a lot of water. LOL I am using a BIG pool pump to drain though and so it should be ok.

some people.....

[GinaRae]

I won't be trying it with water, sorry! The hubby already took it down and you're due any second now, right?

You will have to tell ME how it goes!

[FillingMyQuiver]

Gina~

Did you order the bigger, hexagonal shaped one or the smaller round one??

Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is Maybe the other woman who birthed in it didn't have the sides as inflated as they should be?? With my last HB, I had DS (19mo at the time) literally climbing and standing on the sides while I was in labor and the thing held. I'm telling you, EVERYONE, including my MW was REALLY impressed w/ the pool.

And quite frankly, I think the fishy pool is just as deep as the others if I remember correctly...

I'm thinking that I'm going tonight, so if I can, I'll give an update as to how using the smaller, round fishy pool went for us a 2nd time around.

[FillingMyQuiver]

Okay, I went and looked at the AquaDoula and quite frankly, I would be UNCOMFORTABLE in that thing!!! There's no depth to the sides so you're basically leaning on what, a 1" side?? At least w/ the fishy pool, the sides are like 4" deep, really great for leaning and relaxing your arms on. Also, the fishy pool is ONLY 2" shorter on the sides, we're not talking a foot or anything:

I'd tell your MW to take a pill and leave you alone to birth in whatever pool you want

[chrysalis]

gina, i think you'll be JUST FINE. what's up w/ the nasty attitude of the naughty MW??? are these homebirth MW's that work as a team or something??? can you just totally fire the nasty one? i would as that would really stress me out. i think you handle her well, though...i commend you!!! i don't know if i have ever seen a fishy one...or maybe i have...i think i had a couple as a doula who had one in the hospital...i remember it being kind of low compared to the AD if it was the right one...hmmm.

omg speaking of fishy pools, my goldfish 10 gallon tank REEKS. i must figure this out for tomorrow cuz it is nasty. whew! they must need some chemical or Ph adjustment in there...i have already taken out some of the water and put in fresh the other day as it reeked. i don't remember this happening in MN w/ this same tank...we had goldfish there too. but only 3 comet types and a snail. now we have 4 fat bellied goldies and a snail and whew, the odor is nastiness...

sorry i'm rambling...this amoxicillin is really getting to me...insomnia.

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by FillingMyQuiver

Did you order the bigger, hexagonal shaped one or the smaller round one?? And quite frankly, I think the fishy pool is just as deep as the others if I remember correctly...

I'm thinking that I'm going tonight, so if I can, I'll give an update as to how using the smaller, round fishy pool went for us a 2nd time around.

I got the round one. And like you, I think they're just as deep. I believe I looked the measurements up online. Yup, two whole inches shorter. And I saw a pic of the MW in the Aqua Doula and it looked uncomfortable to me! Same reason, no sides and they're harder plastic.

Whoo hoo! Keep us posted on your possible labor!

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by chrysalis

what's up w/ the nasty attitude of the naughty MW??? are these homebirth MW's that work as a team or something??? can you just totally fire the nasty one? i would as that would really stress me out. i think you handle her well, though...i commend you!!!

I think that I am not as compliant as she would like and that upsets her. Seems controlling. I think she's in the wrong business because she's controlling and worried about liability, etc.. Maybe she will relax, she is still pretty new.

They work as a team, but the naughty one likes to be bull-headed and do it all to prove herself, I think. I won't be bullied, generally, though for weeks she did have me feeling pretty darn low about myself.

She will push and push harder, I gently resist, she tries to change to a softer version of the same bullying, and I resist more.

I haven't fired her because if she can come as an assistant to the MW, I am okay with that I think. But I don't want her to have an active role otherwise. I will just push her to the living room until she's needed in case of baby needing resuscitation or me bleeding or something. She's clinically okay, I think. But her tactics and ethics and personality aren't so hot.

Funny too -- she was SO incredibly nice and sweet for the first few months. Total turnaround.

[lisalulu]

That naughty midwife sucks. We just did a dry run with our birth pool and in the instructions it says only to fill it part way (maybe 2/3?) until you can get in and try out how much water so it won't spill over-seems like that should work for you too? Good for you for refusing her pressure for cervical exam!

[GinaRae]

Thanks

There's no reason to have the exam right now except out of curiosity. Just NO reason. She wants to know if my cervix is doing anything, and even agrees with me that it means NOTHING, yet she still wants to. Look, even my hubby doesn't get to bully me into opening my legs.

NOT to mention, if I needed an excuse, i have one. It would be super uncomfortable to have the exam done in office. They're using a chiropractic office for their prenatals and the low table is SO uncomfortable to lay on.

I feel weird about dropping trow in the office AND it's about all I can stand being there long enough to have my belly checked. My head goes wayyy back and it's hard to get off the table.

But that's not even a factor - I just do not want one right now. I don't know why she wants to get in there so badly. I wonder if she thinks I am hiding something about my vagina