Feel free to tell me I'm insane

[nausicaamom]

My Mother Blessing is this afternoon and while part of me is really looking forward to it, another part does not do well with being the center of attention (I'm the one who always does for others, if that give you an idea). I usually compensate for this by doing up elaborate favors and gifts. With being a good 6 months pregnant, having SPD and a 3 year-old, I have not been able to finish all of the parts of the favors/thankyou gifts that I had planned. It was originally going to be a felted knit bowl, knit face cloth, knit bath puff/scrubby, homemade sugar scrub, some nice chocolates, and a thank you note for coming out to celebrate my pregnancy and upcoming birth. I just have not been able to make the time or energy to finish the washcloths and bath puffs/scubbies. My husband thinks I'm insane, but I feel so badly that they are "incomplete" since I know everyone has put so much work into doing this. Any thoughts?

Of course this is not helped by the fact that I am brimming over with pegnancy hormones today - already sobbed along with "Maybe I'm Amazed" this morning.

[mosesface]

you're not insane.
BUT, you do need to relax and let others do for you. you are not bartering for a blessing. your friends do not need to be paid well to love you!!

[flapjack]

I've been trying to write this post, and struggling. It's OK, sometimes, not to be the hostess with the mostest. It's OK just to be: to be yourself, to be Jenn the superbabe who just had a rough week and prioritised sleep over knitting. It's OK to show Michael that sometimes life doesn't go as planned, that sometimes you have to make time to look after yourself so that you can keep on looking after other people: and it's OK for you to show him how precious he is and that he came first, even though there was other stuff that you wanted to get done. He's going to remember that, and during those difficult first days when he wants his mummy and doesn't understand what that squirming ball of fluff is doing in his space, it's going to help him through.
You did it. You're at 28 weeks today, third trimester, you can still walk (and sit still and knit, which is far more important really) and you juggled your life, prioritised the big stuff and let the handknit washcloths wait. Tough call, but you made it.

Do people actually use those washcloths, btw? I always thought the whole point was in the knitting, rather than the using: but then again, I'm wedded to my terry towelling.

[BinahYeteirah]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Do people actually use those washcloths, btw?

I use mine.

ITA with the rest of what you wrote. If I were coming to your Mother Blessing, I would be thrilled to get anything! They won't know they're incomplete, will they? I'm sure they'll love whatever you give them. They are coming for you, not for the favor.

I understand your feelings. I hate being a hostess. A lot of it is because I'm a perfectionist. I have a friend who had a birthday party dinner for her 5 yo daughter that my dd was invited to attend. Her house was rather messy and she served frozen-throw-on-a-tray-into-the-oven chips (French fries) and fish sticks with plain pasta and tomato sauce (that's catsup, people). Oh, she did bake some yummy cupcakes. The kids colored with markers after dinner. In other words, it was a very low fuss affair. I was actually envious of her that she is secure enough to do it that way. I have only had family birthday parties for my kids, which I think is fine, but one of the major reasons is because I know I'd drive myself crazy with having the perfect party. I'd spend forever planning the menu, trying to balance serving healthy food with the expected fun, junky party food; I'd spend days cleaning my house, wondering who to invite, etc., etc. Sometimes it's better to just have a fun day; I don't think most people don't really care how perfect everything is. They are just coming to celebrate your pregnancy and that is what is important.

[nausicaamom]

Thanks. It was a lovely afternoon and everyone enjoyed their gifts and gave me a cheer when I told them there was more planned but it didn't get done and I was just letting it go. It's so hard for me to let go - it's like I've spent my whole life doing for others and secretly desiring to be completely taken care of, but when someone tries to do just that I can't let it happen. It's also very hard for me to see just what sort of effect I do have on others and how much they appreciate me for me.

On a completely unexpected note, one of my girlfriends organized everone and they all chipped in and bought us a Phil & Ted's E3 which just takes my breath away. I'm going to light my candles and string the beads I received tonight. Thanks again.

[flapjack]

:

What colour is the E3? I like the idea of the green one, but DH isn't convinced...

[nausicaamom]

Truthfully, I'm not sure. I *think* it's the red one. I love the idea of the green one, but I think I'd get sick of it after a bit.

[lovetobemama]

Sounds WONDERFUL! I'm so glad you didn't finish every single little thing, and did let yourself be loved on this time! I hope the bead stringing is peaceful and wonderful tonight.

You know, the funny thing about friends and loved ones is that sometimes they ARE genuinely wanting to celebrate us just for who we are, and sometimes they ARE just completely wanting to celebrate things like the new baby coming into your life. Even if you have circles (mine are similar) where everyone is used to YOU doing all the loving and taking care.

Sounds like a great day! Your update brightened my day!!!