Originally Posted by nextcommercial
Okay, let's reiterate what the OP mentioned, because it becomes cumulative:
1) I am uncomfortable with the relationship between the ten year old girl and her Step Dad.
Intuiton is powerful, it is the inner voice to which the wise tell us to listen.
2) The parents ... have been together for three years
Merely three; the child was seven at first contact. Of the sexually abused as children, the bulk were first assaulted at close to seven.
3) But, the Step dad never let her go. Litterally.
A grown man who keeps his hands on a ten year old girl for a solid hour and a half. Hey, if the child was a BOY and the man was a priest, would people get how creepy this is?
4) and 5) He touched and kissed her the whole evening.
If I was on a group DATE with someone, and they touched and kissed me the whole evening, I would be annoyed.
6) It was so creepy.
Intuition says, "HEY, I'm talking to you!!"
7) He had her back to his front,
Okay, even if this man was pure as the driven snow innocent, I would have to say, "Excuse me, but, if this girl's school teacher were a man, would it be a GOOD thing for her to be comfortable with HIM standing close to her back with his front? Because that's kind of what you are teaching her right now, that it's cool for a grown man to stand up against her like that."
8) and kept his hands on her chest the whole night.
Fifth grade girls are often sporting their first bra, so their "chest area" is very sensitive at this point... they KNOW that this is a sexual area of their bodies.
9) He rubbed her stomach, and
A grown man's hands on a ten year old's stomach would put his touch close to both her breast area and her pubic area. Get back, dude. Rub your wife's stomach.
10) he kissed her roughly on top of the head about six times.
Roughly. Go kiss your wife roughly, dude.
11) When they sat on a bench, he pulled her in really close, and had both arms wrapped around her.
12) She [looked] like she would rather be sitting normal, or off playing.
She did? Of course she did. She's a ten year old girl, being manhandled by her mom's boyfriend now husband.
13) and 14) the other moms and a few of the dads were bothered by it.
A few of the dads were bothered by it--this speaks volumes. If other dads noticed it and were creeped out at all, I read that as a corroboration from like a different camera angle.
15) The other ten year old asked her to come play, She said "Can I?" and the step dad, said, "Why don't you just sit with me for a while".
She asked "Can I?" and he makes the negative answer a reference to HIM and HIS needs for her presence.
16) Mostly, it just felt "wrong" to me. I just got a bad vibe from them.
People who have been sexually molested as children, and ascended to some manner of stable adjustment as adults have the most credible viewpoints on this matter, imo. Some have offered theirs; listen.
All of the other well-meant defense in the names of known-quantity good, loving men/dads/stepdads has little or no application here. None of their situations sound similar, as they have described them. I'm sorry. They don't.
There has been an overwhelming amount of CREEP factor observed and noted by a NUMBER of ADULTS. If it were one, or even three or four things, but there were so very MANY inappropriate behaviors observed... It's overwhelming.
If this isn't inappropriate due to something like a couple of pps have suggested, like the child being some kind of special needs or social anxiety... well, SOME of the behaviors are STILL inappropriate, like the chest stuff, the stomach stuff, the back to front stuff, the rough kissing, never let her go... no, I'm sorry. This is WAY over the top.
And why is a fifth grader "finishing out the YEAR at her old school? It's NOVEMBER, not March or February. MORE of the year is AHEAD than behind.
I would definitely, absolutely find every avenue I could to gain more awareness of that family, because IF the creep factor is on the money, you, OP, may be the first and last chance this kid ever gets to escaping sexual slavery. And isn't it so much better to err on the side of caution in a situation where the innocence and future health and happiness of a CHILD is concerned? I think so.
If, God willing, you find out that this is the greatest guy who doing the best thing in the world for all concerned, then, you know what? That is fantastic, absolutely super. And this great, wonderful guy will also completely understand why his behavior came off as a possible red light to such a number of other parents of ten year-old girls in the neighborhood.