Having trouble accepting

[rik8144]

We found out 3 weeks ago that my great uncle (Uncle Butch) had pancreatic and liver cancer. Then, last Wed, he called to tell us the doc gave him 3 months to live....5 months if he started treatment. Well, Friday morning my other uncle called and said that Uncle Butch had a heart attack and a stroke and was in the hospital. So, my grandparents went to TN to see him. Well, he passed away last night around midnight.

This all happened so quick.....I can't adjust to the thought that he is already gone. He and my Aunt Dot came to GA for my wedding, daughters baptism, and were planning a trip down for my sons. He sang at my daughters ceremony. I was sooooo close to him and I miss him so much. I cannot believe he is gone. The funeral it Tuesday so DH and I are going up there. I don't want to go....I don't want to see him just lying there. I watched the video of him singing today and I cannot even imagine him lying life less in a casket. He never saw my son.....I spoke to him a couple of weeks ago and he was looking forward to our up coming visit.

I feel like I can't mourn for him because I am home all day 6 days a week with two kids and I can't take the time to feel sad for him. My daughter doesn't understand when I am crying. She just kisses me and sits on my lap....I don't want to scare her. I told her today that her uncle Butch loved her very much while we watched the video and now she is walking around saying "I love you Uncle Butch" over and over again. It is so sweet and so sad at the same time.

I am am soooo sad :

[happyhippimama]

I'm really sorry mama.

[NullSet]

I'm so sorry, Sounds like he was a really great guy and will be missed by everyone. Hang on to the good memories and don't be afraid to cry when you need to.

[DreamWeaver]

I am so sorry for this pain. It's so hard when it happens so fast.
Mourning will happen, grieving will happen... it cannot be stopped.

A different thought: If you miss him so much, and feel so sad, it goes to show you have much love between you two and you were so blessed with his presence in your life, and his with yours. Think of his gifts and how you can share his gifts with your children... in essence, Life never ends, because your children will know his love, his spirit, his songs.... all through you, so he never left, really. Don't think of him lifeless; think of how his life was once so full, and how he lived and loved. I am sure he wants you to smile for his Life so richly lived.

I probably said too much... I hope you can find peace after this shock and sadness.... I am so sorry.

[rik8144]

Thank you all for responding. I should clarify that he was my Great Uncle...my grandfathers youngest brother. We went to the funeral and I was doing so good.....until my grandfather started crying, then my cousins and I couldn't hold it in anymore! It was the most touching funeral I have ever seen....it definately refelcted his personality. He actually planned his funeral a couple of weeks ago with my other great uncle so we know it was exactly what he wanted. The church was packed and it's a pretty big church. That made me feel good knowing how many other people he touched in his lifetime.

Dreamweaver - You did not say too much....everything you said made sense! Thank you!

[DreamWeaver]

Rikki!!
I am so glad you all got a good cry at the funeral... it can be so healing!

And it is so great he got to plan his funeral, and that it was carried out to his wishes is just so wonderful and beautiful. I hope you find healing in this. Thanks for letting us know how it went, you were in my thoughts.

[rachelle-a-tron]

Rikki

Uncle Butch