Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X
How has this affected your friendship with her?
I'm not sure yet. I had told her at one point in her pregnancy that if she went through with it, after all the research she'd done, I wasn't sure if I could be her friend any more after allowing her son to be mutilated. I just didn't think someone who had researched so much on the subject could actually consent to having it done.
I went to visit her tonight, which is the first time I'd seen her and the baby since they left the hospital (my mom and son came too). We were there for three hours and she changed his diaper several times during that time. I was in the room each time when she changed him but I didn't come near him since I didn't want to see the aftermath. She asked me if I wanted to see it and I said no. My mom also wouldn't look when she was in the room. My friend asked me if it really bothered me that much and I just said yes it does. While she was there she had to give me back all my pregnancy/birth books that I had loaned to her. Included in the batch was the "Sex As Nature Intended" book. I told her I'd keep it and give it to him when he's 18 and let him know about restoring (my boyfriend is in the process of restoring). We really do talk about everything and I know she's not offended by what I say so I continue on. At one point my son used her bathroom and she asked if he ever "misses" and pees outside the toilet. I told her that we've never had that problem ever (and he's been standing up to pee since he was 2) and she asked if it was because he is intact. I said I'm not sure, but maybe, since up to 10% of circumcised boys have what is called meatal stenosis which causes the urthral opening to constrict and sometimes causes the stream of urine to spray all over the place or makes the stream go sideways or upwards. I told her it was made worse from the unprotected urethral opening coming into contact with urine and feces in the diaper. We've also talked before about how intact penises of little boys seem to hang down normally, while a lot of circumcised little boys' penises seem to stick straight out like a mushroom, which I would think would making aiming into the toilet harder. So maybe, if I keep on talking to her about it, if she ever gets pregnant again with a 2nd son she'll keep him intact. We are in CA so I'm sure she'll be coming in contact with a lot of intact babies and little boys over the next few years. I'm leaving back to Virginia in two days (I flew in to CA for 3 1/2 weeks just to attend her birth) and I most likely won't be back for 6 months so I won't be around her all the time watching her change his diaper. I will continue to talk to her on the phone, and I'm still her doula, so I'll be around to offer advice.
On another note, the baby had his first check-up today and is doing well. He was 7lbs 6oz at birth and is now 7lbs even at 4 days postpartum-- he's already gained from his initial loss. Breastfeeding is going well (my friend was seen by a LC today), her milk has come in, and the baby is peeing and pooping regularly. All I can do is pray that his recovery from the circ is fast and I will continue to educate my friend on the subject.