Ok, so I edited the birth story a lot and it's still incredibly long. If you just want pix, scroll to the bottom:
Silas Joshua's Birth Story
I woke up Monday November 5th and felt some contractions. Quite light, but definitely not Braxton Hicks type contractions. Also, the increased mucous I had noticed for the last two days was even more increased and had a pink tinge. Sent Trevor to work and got going with my day, which involved a chiropractor appt, errands etc. Since I hadn't had days of pre-labour with Miriam, I wasn't really expecting any with this baby, so I figured this would probably progress eventually to the real thing, just a matter of when.
We went to the chiropractor and I wasn't sure I should be driving due to the occasional contraction but I just had to focus a bit. Went and picked up a few last minute things at the store. Got home around noon. We had lunch – tuna fish with mayo and mustard and apples and pickles on a bagel. I had two bagels and all of the tuna fish except for what little Miriam ate of this extravaganza, since I figured I'd need the energy soon. Contractions continued but not too bad at all.
Called Trevor to let him know that he might want to come home a bit early and called Cara to let her know that things might be starting up. When Trevor got home we went for a walk, a very slow walk, as I was having some more serious contractions, although still very irregular (every 3 minutes or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 2 minutes). I was hoping that some walking would regularize the contractions but no such luck.
Got home around 4:30 (gone for around an hour) and Trevor's dad was waiting for us because he was there to take Miriam to my parents' house. Cara called and we told her things were still irregular. She wanted to make sure that I wasn't leaking amniotic fluid and once I told her that I still had on the pad I'd put on in the morning she was OK with just letting me continue and not worrying about the time the contractions had started (the report I'd given her earlier had involved the information that I felt a bit wet but we concluded that was just the increased mucous flow). Throughout the day, the pink mucous became more pronounced each time I went to the bathroom. Cara thought I might relax a bit more once Miriam left because she was in quite the mood with the no napping situation. I thought she might be right and hoped that things would pick up soon.
I puttered around the house tidying, doing some dishes, folding some laundry, tidying etc. Trying to keep my mind occupied with other tasks and ignore the contractions. Trevor set up the pool and I tried to videotape him but apparently I'm unfamiliar with video cameras. We added plastic and sheets to the mattresses (well, we added plastic to one since we only had one plastic tablecloth). Finally, around 9 or 10 I think (I really don't remember) I decided that since things didn't seem to be progressing one way or another I would try to get some sleep. Trevor also went to bed then.
I did get a bit of a rest, and woke up at two (well, I woke up many times but finally got up at two) in the morning. Puttered around some more, tried to fold the last load of laundry – more difficult this time to keep my mind on things. Woke up Trevor and started to ask him why there wasn't a glass of wine to drink. I really wanted one and was quite insistent on this (and rather irrational I'm sure). I knew that some of the things I was saying weren't making sense, but on the other hand, I couldn't help myself. I may have even thrown a pillow at him for the sake of tradition (having done so during labour with Miriam).
He kept asking me if we should call Cara and I was really trying to hold off on that for two reasons: 1. I was hoping to wait as long as possible, so that it wouldn't seem real, in the hopes that when she did come, I would be well on my way and 2. I didn't want to call anyone at 2 a.m. But running in the back of my head was Cara telling me to call when I thought things were underway because the second one went faster usually. So at 4 a.m. After some roaming around the house and hanging out on MDC and moaning and groaning, I finally decided to call Cara. Actually I think Trevor called her and told her I wanted to get in the pool and that things seemed to be kicking up a notch.
She said she'd be over soon and she was, despite the icy roads. Not sure of the time because Trevor had thoughtfully turned around the clocks the previous evening but probably by 4:30 at the latest. She checked the usual stuff – my temperature, blood pressure, baby's heart rate and asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation. I hemmed and hawed for a bit. I asked for a cervical check shortly and was disappointed but not surprised to hear that I was at a 2 or 3. Yep, shades of Miriam all over.
Still, she said I could get in the pool and so I did head that way. The pool was great. I liked it so much better than the fishy pool. It was not at all too small – I could sit down with my legs mostly stretched out, and the water got good and deep so that when a contraction hit and I got on my hands and knees and rocked, the water covered my belly still. Ideal. I was concentrating on making sure that when a contraction hit that I blew raspberries (something I am very very bad at) because loose lips make for loose hips or something like that. The contractions were not that long – maybe 30 to 60 seconds by my reckoning, although Trevor never did time them like he did last time – and still didn't feel very regular. But they were definitely getting stronger. Cara checked on the baby's heartrate periodically and it all sounded great. I occasionally had some water to drink. The pool was where I wanted to be.
After a couple of hours (it was light out, so probably 7:30 or so) I wanted to get out and pee. After that I wasn't sure I wanted to get back in, so I went to the bedroom. Contractions felt different on land, stronger. Cara called Gisele, her partner and asked her to come over to 365 Wardlaw. Simple as that. I was amazed. No panicked phone calls and pages to people hoping they could be a second attendant. I was starting to feel a bit of a different sensation (the does it feel like you have to poo sensation) but not much. Still, some there. Trevor periodically had to leave and when he would move away, I would crawl towards him during a contraction. I was now moaning loud and low during contractions and only occasionally blowing raspberries. When Gisele arrived, they set up some more stuff because everyone was thinking that this might be close. Ha! Everyone was wrong. Cara checked me again for dilation and I was about a 4 (I think – Trevor thinks it might have been more like a 5 or 6 and now that I think about it he could be right). Yep, all that work for so little progress
At that point Gisele left to go do some stuff at the office and Trevor and I hung out in the bedroom. I laboured on the couch for a while, but mostly on the bed, mostly on my hands and knees. I think there were attempts made to get me to go to the bathroom and try to labour on the toilet, but I really didn't want to. I eventually did head that way to pee, but labouring on the toilet felt awful and I would just throw myself off of it when a contraction hit and either kneel on the floor holding onto Trevor's hands, or on my hands and knees.
Decided to get back into the pool to see if I could relax at all. This worked incredibly well. Trevor added some hot water. And then the contractions got stronger but further apart and I actually did almost fall asleep between them. Seriously. I would get on my hands and knees for the contractions and then afterwards, I would sit down on my bum and lean back on the tub and close my eyes and breathe and feel so very very relaxed. Trevor actually did fall asleep at one point – I could hear him snoring. This time I started to have to drape my arms over the tub instead of having them down on the floor of the pool (hooray for padded pool floors by the way – they saved my knees and wrists, both of which were sore anyway but could have been a lot worse). And holding Trevor's arms and hands during contractions. They started to get more frequent as I spent more time in the pool and stronger and stronger. After another hour and a half (? no idea on time, really quite fuzzy about that – I'd say I was in the pool from 8:30 to 10 ish or maybe 8:45 to 10:15 ish., I wanted out to pee again.
Headed back to the bedroom. Gisele came back. Not at all sure about the order of events now. I know that things were getting stronger and stronger and that I was getting wimpy. I got checked and was a 7 or something like that. I tried to make sure to stand my ground during contractions, not raise my feet if I was standing and holding Trevor but keep them to the floor because I didn't want to run away from the feeling. But I did really want to run away from it and part of me kept trying. Also, I was getting miserable and totally feeling like I would love to be in a hospital, drugged up at this point, but I knew that 1. that wasn't about to happen and 2. feeling that way probably meant that I was in transition. Still didn't keep the thoughts at bay and I told Trevor that I was tired and didn't want to do this anymore. Cara kept telling me I was doing well, staying relaxed, the baby sounded great etc.
I was feeling stronger and stronger urges to push and then Cara told me to try pushing during a contraction instead of moaning (very very loudly and melodically). I did try a few times and it felt a bit better. Then she told me to try pushing with every contraction. I wanted to try lying on my side to do this, so I did, and I laid down on some pillows (my friends – I spent a lot of time lying across a pack of 2 pillows or some piled up blankets during contractions) and somebody held one leg up in some weird position and told me to push when I had a contraction. I did a few times, but couldn't quite believe that I was supposed to be pushing. I believe I kept saying “Really? I can push now? Really? I can push now? Really?:” I'm sure I sounded insane. Apparently I started pushing at 10:55 according to the records.
What was interesting to me was that I actually got the urge to push. When I had a contraction, I actually wanted to bear down and it was mostly unconscious and uncontrollable and I would have 3 or 4 urges to push in a row. I felt nothing at all like that with Miriam and remember being told to give 3 good pushes and having no idea what to do. Gisele got some very warm cloths to hold down at my bottom and told me to direct my pushes towards the cloths and to listen to Cara when I was pushing. Sadly I was moaning and groaning and yelling so loudly that I couldn't hear what Cara was saying, plus my head was mostly buried in a pillow as I tried hard to bite the pillow during each push. I was starting to sweat a lot and felt really quite gross and disgusting. I was also hoping that this wouldn't be the lengthy 3 ½ hour procedure that pushing was with Miriam because I couldn't take that. So when I got the urge to push, I would just PUUUUSSSSHHH. As much as I could. And apparently it worked. I could feel things were moving and Gisele and Cara were saying “you'll see your baby soon”and both Trevor and I were skeptical, but I knew things were going better than last time. Still, it hurt and felt weird and almost wrong.
At some point they asked if I wanted to feel the head and I said no. Last time after I felt the head, it still took hours it seemed. So this time I just wanted to focus on pushing. I felt the need to get up and Trevor wanted to get the birth stool since that's what worked at the end for me last time, but they were a bit reluctant (more tears on birth stools) and I just wanted to be on my hands and knees and push, and push, and push. I could feel things stretching and stretching and was wondering where the head was, because surely it must be out by now, but things were still stretching and I was still pushing and it hurt like the devil and surely the baby's head couldn't be any bigger than this right? And stretching and pushing and yelling. Yep, the last 5 or 10 minutes I just yelled as loudly as I could (again being thankful that it wasn't summer so the windows were all shut) “Get it out! I want it OUT! GET IT OUT! I WANT IT OUT!!!!”. Over and over again. I just wanted to be over and done with the pushing. I couldn't believe there was more to do. And then I think I was told to do some small little pushes and I did manage to do that and then I felt things just slide out of me and it was the most blessed relief and best feeling ever. Oh did that feel good. I was so happy to stop pushing and stop having some large object stuck halfway out my vagina.
I moved down and got to look at the baby, who was squalling merrily and noted that he was a boy. I believe I said “ I knew it”. And honestly, I did all along. I would have been shocked to find a girl there. We waited for the cord to stop pulsing, so I had to sort of move with the baby since we were still attached and then I got to cut the cord, which was neat and unexpected. I laid down with the baby, checking him out. He looked great. Not much of a cone head at all, since I really spent very little time pushing. He was born at 11:34 a.m., so only 40 minutes!!! Little dimpled chin, ears, toes, fingers, cute little penis. Whee!!!
Cara and Gisele bustled about taking care of things. The placenta arrived shortly thereafter (the “ it doesn't have bones” talk being heard again) and was examined – it had an extra lobe prompting some speculation of possible twins with one being lost, but since I had no spotting or bleeding in the first trimester, it's probably just an anomaly. Baby boy got to rest on me and over the course of the next hour we tried to interest him in the breast but no luck. Got checked for tears – at first Cara thought I might not have any, but I had one small first degree tear which she stitched up. Oddly, she and Gisele had the same conversation about stitching that Cara and Kelly had when I got stitched up with Miriam “Oh you do it that way? That's interesting.” Baby finally agreed to get on the breast. He got weighed, measuring 8 lbs 12 oz (I guessed 9 3, Trevor 9 1 and Cara 8 something) and measured 20 ¾ inches long. Gisele left around 12:30. Cara checked him over for other things, pronounced him beautiful and packed up to leave. She left around 1:00. She normally would have stayed longer to see if all was going well but we were pretty comfortable with things especially with this being baby #2 and she had another client in labour. Baby and I napped and nursed for the next 4 hours. Called parents around 12:15 to let them know and had some grapes, oranges, crackers and water.
All 4 grandparents and Miriam showed up around 5 ish. Miriam was nonplussed by the arrival of Silas and delighted by the presence of 4 grandparents. I got up and headed downstairs, having handed Silas off to Gail, to make some dinner for Trevor, Miriam and I. Just pasta and sauce, but still, such a change from the previous time when I was told not to take the stairs for two days. No chance of that with a toddler in the house this time. Cara called to check on us – she had left instructions for things to check on vis-a-vis Silas' colour and mobility and my blood flow and dizziness levels. All was well.
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Silas Joshua's Birth Story
I woke up Monday November 5th and felt some contractions. Quite light, but definitely not Braxton Hicks type contractions. Also, the increased mucous I had noticed for the last two days was even more increased and had a pink tinge. Sent Trevor to work and got going with my day, which involved a chiropractor appt, errands etc. Since I hadn't had days of pre-labour with Miriam, I wasn't really expecting any with this baby, so I figured this would probably progress eventually to the real thing, just a matter of when.
We went to the chiropractor and I wasn't sure I should be driving due to the occasional contraction but I just had to focus a bit. Went and picked up a few last minute things at the store. Got home around noon. We had lunch – tuna fish with mayo and mustard and apples and pickles on a bagel. I had two bagels and all of the tuna fish except for what little Miriam ate of this extravaganza, since I figured I'd need the energy soon. Contractions continued but not too bad at all.
Called Trevor to let him know that he might want to come home a bit early and called Cara to let her know that things might be starting up. When Trevor got home we went for a walk, a very slow walk, as I was having some more serious contractions, although still very irregular (every 3 minutes or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 2 minutes). I was hoping that some walking would regularize the contractions but no such luck.
Got home around 4:30 (gone for around an hour) and Trevor's dad was waiting for us because he was there to take Miriam to my parents' house. Cara called and we told her things were still irregular. She wanted to make sure that I wasn't leaking amniotic fluid and once I told her that I still had on the pad I'd put on in the morning she was OK with just letting me continue and not worrying about the time the contractions had started (the report I'd given her earlier had involved the information that I felt a bit wet but we concluded that was just the increased mucous flow). Throughout the day, the pink mucous became more pronounced each time I went to the bathroom. Cara thought I might relax a bit more once Miriam left because she was in quite the mood with the no napping situation. I thought she might be right and hoped that things would pick up soon.
I puttered around the house tidying, doing some dishes, folding some laundry, tidying etc. Trying to keep my mind occupied with other tasks and ignore the contractions. Trevor set up the pool and I tried to videotape him but apparently I'm unfamiliar with video cameras. We added plastic and sheets to the mattresses (well, we added plastic to one since we only had one plastic tablecloth). Finally, around 9 or 10 I think (I really don't remember) I decided that since things didn't seem to be progressing one way or another I would try to get some sleep. Trevor also went to bed then.
I did get a bit of a rest, and woke up at two (well, I woke up many times but finally got up at two) in the morning. Puttered around some more, tried to fold the last load of laundry – more difficult this time to keep my mind on things. Woke up Trevor and started to ask him why there wasn't a glass of wine to drink. I really wanted one and was quite insistent on this (and rather irrational I'm sure). I knew that some of the things I was saying weren't making sense, but on the other hand, I couldn't help myself. I may have even thrown a pillow at him for the sake of tradition (having done so during labour with Miriam).
He kept asking me if we should call Cara and I was really trying to hold off on that for two reasons: 1. I was hoping to wait as long as possible, so that it wouldn't seem real, in the hopes that when she did come, I would be well on my way and 2. I didn't want to call anyone at 2 a.m. But running in the back of my head was Cara telling me to call when I thought things were underway because the second one went faster usually. So at 4 a.m. After some roaming around the house and hanging out on MDC and moaning and groaning, I finally decided to call Cara. Actually I think Trevor called her and told her I wanted to get in the pool and that things seemed to be kicking up a notch.
She said she'd be over soon and she was, despite the icy roads. Not sure of the time because Trevor had thoughtfully turned around the clocks the previous evening but probably by 4:30 at the latest. She checked the usual stuff – my temperature, blood pressure, baby's heart rate and asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation. I hemmed and hawed for a bit. I asked for a cervical check shortly and was disappointed but not surprised to hear that I was at a 2 or 3. Yep, shades of Miriam all over.
Still, she said I could get in the pool and so I did head that way. The pool was great. I liked it so much better than the fishy pool. It was not at all too small – I could sit down with my legs mostly stretched out, and the water got good and deep so that when a contraction hit and I got on my hands and knees and rocked, the water covered my belly still. Ideal. I was concentrating on making sure that when a contraction hit that I blew raspberries (something I am very very bad at) because loose lips make for loose hips or something like that. The contractions were not that long – maybe 30 to 60 seconds by my reckoning, although Trevor never did time them like he did last time – and still didn't feel very regular. But they were definitely getting stronger. Cara checked on the baby's heartrate periodically and it all sounded great. I occasionally had some water to drink. The pool was where I wanted to be.
After a couple of hours (it was light out, so probably 7:30 or so) I wanted to get out and pee. After that I wasn't sure I wanted to get back in, so I went to the bedroom. Contractions felt different on land, stronger. Cara called Gisele, her partner and asked her to come over to 365 Wardlaw. Simple as that. I was amazed. No panicked phone calls and pages to people hoping they could be a second attendant. I was starting to feel a bit of a different sensation (the does it feel like you have to poo sensation) but not much. Still, some there. Trevor periodically had to leave and when he would move away, I would crawl towards him during a contraction. I was now moaning loud and low during contractions and only occasionally blowing raspberries. When Gisele arrived, they set up some more stuff because everyone was thinking that this might be close. Ha! Everyone was wrong. Cara checked me again for dilation and I was about a 4 (I think – Trevor thinks it might have been more like a 5 or 6 and now that I think about it he could be right). Yep, all that work for so little progress
At that point Gisele left to go do some stuff at the office and Trevor and I hung out in the bedroom. I laboured on the couch for a while, but mostly on the bed, mostly on my hands and knees. I think there were attempts made to get me to go to the bathroom and try to labour on the toilet, but I really didn't want to. I eventually did head that way to pee, but labouring on the toilet felt awful and I would just throw myself off of it when a contraction hit and either kneel on the floor holding onto Trevor's hands, or on my hands and knees.
Decided to get back into the pool to see if I could relax at all. This worked incredibly well. Trevor added some hot water. And then the contractions got stronger but further apart and I actually did almost fall asleep between them. Seriously. I would get on my hands and knees for the contractions and then afterwards, I would sit down on my bum and lean back on the tub and close my eyes and breathe and feel so very very relaxed. Trevor actually did fall asleep at one point – I could hear him snoring. This time I started to have to drape my arms over the tub instead of having them down on the floor of the pool (hooray for padded pool floors by the way – they saved my knees and wrists, both of which were sore anyway but could have been a lot worse). And holding Trevor's arms and hands during contractions. They started to get more frequent as I spent more time in the pool and stronger and stronger. After another hour and a half (? no idea on time, really quite fuzzy about that – I'd say I was in the pool from 8:30 to 10 ish or maybe 8:45 to 10:15 ish., I wanted out to pee again.
Headed back to the bedroom. Gisele came back. Not at all sure about the order of events now. I know that things were getting stronger and stronger and that I was getting wimpy. I got checked and was a 7 or something like that. I tried to make sure to stand my ground during contractions, not raise my feet if I was standing and holding Trevor but keep them to the floor because I didn't want to run away from the feeling. But I did really want to run away from it and part of me kept trying. Also, I was getting miserable and totally feeling like I would love to be in a hospital, drugged up at this point, but I knew that 1. that wasn't about to happen and 2. feeling that way probably meant that I was in transition. Still didn't keep the thoughts at bay and I told Trevor that I was tired and didn't want to do this anymore. Cara kept telling me I was doing well, staying relaxed, the baby sounded great etc.
I was feeling stronger and stronger urges to push and then Cara told me to try pushing during a contraction instead of moaning (very very loudly and melodically). I did try a few times and it felt a bit better. Then she told me to try pushing with every contraction. I wanted to try lying on my side to do this, so I did, and I laid down on some pillows (my friends – I spent a lot of time lying across a pack of 2 pillows or some piled up blankets during contractions) and somebody held one leg up in some weird position and told me to push when I had a contraction. I did a few times, but couldn't quite believe that I was supposed to be pushing. I believe I kept saying “Really? I can push now? Really? I can push now? Really?:” I'm sure I sounded insane. Apparently I started pushing at 10:55 according to the records.
What was interesting to me was that I actually got the urge to push. When I had a contraction, I actually wanted to bear down and it was mostly unconscious and uncontrollable and I would have 3 or 4 urges to push in a row. I felt nothing at all like that with Miriam and remember being told to give 3 good pushes and having no idea what to do. Gisele got some very warm cloths to hold down at my bottom and told me to direct my pushes towards the cloths and to listen to Cara when I was pushing. Sadly I was moaning and groaning and yelling so loudly that I couldn't hear what Cara was saying, plus my head was mostly buried in a pillow as I tried hard to bite the pillow during each push. I was starting to sweat a lot and felt really quite gross and disgusting. I was also hoping that this wouldn't be the lengthy 3 ½ hour procedure that pushing was with Miriam because I couldn't take that. So when I got the urge to push, I would just PUUUUSSSSHHH. As much as I could. And apparently it worked. I could feel things were moving and Gisele and Cara were saying “you'll see your baby soon”and both Trevor and I were skeptical, but I knew things were going better than last time. Still, it hurt and felt weird and almost wrong.
At some point they asked if I wanted to feel the head and I said no. Last time after I felt the head, it still took hours it seemed. So this time I just wanted to focus on pushing. I felt the need to get up and Trevor wanted to get the birth stool since that's what worked at the end for me last time, but they were a bit reluctant (more tears on birth stools) and I just wanted to be on my hands and knees and push, and push, and push. I could feel things stretching and stretching and was wondering where the head was, because surely it must be out by now, but things were still stretching and I was still pushing and it hurt like the devil and surely the baby's head couldn't be any bigger than this right? And stretching and pushing and yelling. Yep, the last 5 or 10 minutes I just yelled as loudly as I could (again being thankful that it wasn't summer so the windows were all shut) “Get it out! I want it OUT! GET IT OUT! I WANT IT OUT!!!!”. Over and over again. I just wanted to be over and done with the pushing. I couldn't believe there was more to do. And then I think I was told to do some small little pushes and I did manage to do that and then I felt things just slide out of me and it was the most blessed relief and best feeling ever. Oh did that feel good. I was so happy to stop pushing and stop having some large object stuck halfway out my vagina.
I moved down and got to look at the baby, who was squalling merrily and noted that he was a boy. I believe I said “ I knew it”. And honestly, I did all along. I would have been shocked to find a girl there. We waited for the cord to stop pulsing, so I had to sort of move with the baby since we were still attached and then I got to cut the cord, which was neat and unexpected. I laid down with the baby, checking him out. He looked great. Not much of a cone head at all, since I really spent very little time pushing. He was born at 11:34 a.m., so only 40 minutes!!! Little dimpled chin, ears, toes, fingers, cute little penis. Whee!!!
Cara and Gisele bustled about taking care of things. The placenta arrived shortly thereafter (the “ it doesn't have bones” talk being heard again) and was examined – it had an extra lobe prompting some speculation of possible twins with one being lost, but since I had no spotting or bleeding in the first trimester, it's probably just an anomaly. Baby boy got to rest on me and over the course of the next hour we tried to interest him in the breast but no luck. Got checked for tears – at first Cara thought I might not have any, but I had one small first degree tear which she stitched up. Oddly, she and Gisele had the same conversation about stitching that Cara and Kelly had when I got stitched up with Miriam “Oh you do it that way? That's interesting.” Baby finally agreed to get on the breast. He got weighed, measuring 8 lbs 12 oz (I guessed 9 3, Trevor 9 1 and Cara 8 something) and measured 20 ¾ inches long. Gisele left around 12:30. Cara checked him over for other things, pronounced him beautiful and packed up to leave. She left around 1:00. She normally would have stayed longer to see if all was going well but we were pretty comfortable with things especially with this being baby #2 and she had another client in labour. Baby and I napped and nursed for the next 4 hours. Called parents around 12:15 to let them know and had some grapes, oranges, crackers and water.
All 4 grandparents and Miriam showed up around 5 ish. Miriam was nonplussed by the arrival of Silas and delighted by the presence of 4 grandparents. I got up and headed downstairs, having handed Silas off to Gail, to make some dinner for Trevor, Miriam and I. Just pasta and sauce, but still, such a change from the previous time when I was told not to take the stairs for two days. No chance of that with a toddler in the house this time. Cara called to check on us – she had left instructions for things to check on vis-a-vis Silas' colour and mobility and my blood flow and dizziness levels. All was well.
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