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Sad for my daughter - Page 2

post #21 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, one doesn't even need to have a penis involved at all to have a normal sex life let alone a foreskin. I think there are plenty of people out here with perfectly fulfilling fantastic sex lives without foreskins involved.
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post #22 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by janellesmommy View Post
This occurred to me today: My son will enjoy a normal sex life because he is intact. My daughter is not guaranteed a normal sex life because her husband may be circumcised.
Has your daughter seen your sons intact penis? Because, honestly, I'd imagine that she'll grow up knowing the "intact" version is the norm, since her baby brother is intact. So really, the way I see it, by your son being intact, you actually INCREASE the likelihood of her being with an intact man, IMHO.
post #23 of 141
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jellop View Post
Has your daughter seen your sons intact penis? Because, honestly, I'd imagine that she'll grow up knowing the "intact" version is the norm, since her baby brother is intact. So really, the way I see it, by your son being intact, you actually INCREASE the likelihood of her being with an intact man, IMHO.
She definitely will know about that, but I imagine she will fall in love with her soulmate, and hopefully he wil be intact, but it won't be something she can choose.
post #24 of 141
Your daughter is 4 yo and you're sad about her future sex life?????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????

Creepy.
post #25 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by *bejeweled* View Post
Your daughter is 4 yo and you're sad about her future sex life?????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????

Creepy.
You know, people say the same thing when intactivists explain the sexual benefits of leaving boys intact. They think, "He's a baby! Who cares?" We're so focused on our children being small sometimes we forget that they're going to grow up and be autonomous adults. The OP isn't thinking about her daughter having sex, she just realized that given our culture and past circumcision rates it's fairly likely that her future partner(s) will be cut...and that means her daughter may essentially be 'stuck with' substandard sex.

Jen
post #26 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
I think there are plenty of people out here with perfectly fulfilling fantastic sex lives without foreskins involved.
Circumcised women in Africa are adamant that their sex lives are very fulfilling too, and cite the intimacy of the act as the important thing as well.

I hope my children have intact partners.
post #27 of 141
I really could care less, honestly. I've had both types of partners, ended up marrying an 'intact' european man, but i can safely say there was no reason for my mom to feel sad for me when I was with my circumcised partners. And to be brutally honest, before I became Anti-Circ - I preferred my sex life with the Circ'd men : Sorry to burst that bubble there.

I'm in the opposite boat - I'll be the one trying to bite my tongue if my daughters come home with a european man (or even a man at all ). Penis aside, they're a lot of work compared to the other men I've dated. : Between the culture clashes and 'where to live' neverending argument, as well as trying NOT to insult each other everytime we encounter a difference that we can't understand.....I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Besides, the circ rate in Canada is only 18%. I'd say her odds are pretty good.
post #28 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by graceomalley View Post
Circumcised women in Africa are adamant that their sex lives are very fulfilling too, and cite the intimacy of the act as the important thing as well.
And non-circumcised women in North America, with intact male partners say the same thing (my point being, that offering up counter-examples is sort of fallacious in light of the specificity of the thread subject). I understand your argument. I also think that sexism plays a big role in making women feel as if they need to say they enjoy sex with men when they don't. This happens in so many varying circumstances. Women generally do not achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation at least at some point. So it is simply not the role of the penis (intact or not) to exclusively be the source of fulfilling and satisfying sex in a woman's physiological, emotional, psychological, or spiritual experience.
post #29 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrogirl View Post
Between the culture clashes and 'where to live' neverending argument, as well as trying NOT to insult each other everytime we encounter a difference that we can't understand.....I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Oh come now...doesn't that happen with everyone we date at some point?
post #30 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
And non-circumcised women in North America, with intact male partners say the same thing (my point being, that offering up counter-examples is sort of fallacious in light of the specificity of the thread subject). I understand your argument. I also think that sexism plays a big role in making women feel as if they need to say they enjoy sex with men when they don't. This happens in so many varying circumstances. Women generally do not achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation at least at some point. So it is simply not the role of the penis (intact or not) to exclusively be the source of fulfilling and satisfying sex in a woman's physiological, emotional, psychological, or spiritual experience.
Plenty of women DO achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Have you read the recent medical studies which isolated nerve impulses during orgasm in circumcised women? It showed that the sensory experience which leads to orgasm through clitoral stimulation is indeed seen in women with no clitoris. Amazing. Then, on the other hand, many women who have chosen to have their foreskin removed say it enhances clitoral stimulation. In this case anecdotes are useless because everyone's experience is different and like you said, it's not just the physical side of it which is important.

However, my original point was to bring focus to a statement which was dismissive of the OP's concern, imo. It was also slightly sexist, but I will admit that I'm probably (hopefully) reading it the wrong way. I fully accept that not many people would even realize it's sexist because of the cultural conditioning which attributes foreskins only to males. Making sweeping statements which exclude one sex, when the excluded sex is anatomically (or otherwise) worthy of being included, isn't something I tolerate. By your linking of the penis with the statement "let alone a foreskin" you ignored the clitoral foreskin completely. And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty fond of mine. I don't like it to be ignored when we're talking about human rights issues, and I don't think it's a human rights issue which should be minimized. I certainly wouldn't want my foreskin to be cut off, and I wouldn't want my son's future wife to go through that agony either.

Yes I know, I know, completely fallacious when considering the specificity of the thread subject.
post #31 of 141
My DD's will definitely be taught about circumcision, and I'll let them know everything. They can take that information and then apply it to their future partners if they wish. It's their lives, their choice.

And, btw, some women do not need any clitoral stimulation to orgasm, I'm one of them. So, if either of my DD's take after me I would think intercourse would be a particularly important thing for them in attaining orgasm.

And, whose to say that even if my DD meets and falls in love with a circumcised man that she can't educate him and he'll learn about restoration in the process?
post #32 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrogirl View Post
And to be brutally honest, before I became Anti-Circ - I preferred my sex life with the Circ'd men : Sorry to burst that bubble there.
Me too.
post #33 of 141
Let's not start the we are creepy crap, that's old. My children's sexuality is a part of them and I can deny that all I want but it won't make it any less so.
Having sex with a circumcised man might be the norm (In the US of course) but it is not natural or the way it was intended.
It's a touchy subject because we don't want our circumcised partners to feel bad about something most had no say in. And of course there is more to sex than the actual act. But I'll never be convinced that sex (the actual act) is better or just as good when one partner is missing a integral part of their genitalia, it's just illogical
post #34 of 141
Both your kids might be gay. Then who ya gonna feel sorry for, kwim? :

ITA with mamajama as well that there is a lot more to sexuality than a foreskin.
post #35 of 141
Of course there is more to sexuality than foreskin but the act of sex/intercourse is altered when one partner is missing an integral part of their genitalia (whether it be the man or the woman). And I think it is weird and well off to prefer mutilated genitalia for your partner.

I think this conversation really brings to light how far we have to go with ending genital mutilation.
post #36 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby View Post
Of course there is more to sexuality than foreskin but the act of sex/intercourse is altered when one partner is missing an integral part of their genitalia 9whether it be the man or the woman). And I think it is weird and well off to prefer mutilated genitalia for your partner.
Nobody is suggesting that the OP's children (either of them!) should prefer a circed penis to an intact one. But I do find the post heterosexist, and just a bit overly focused on the foreskin and its connection to sexuality. There is a lot to sexuality and there is no way to know whether either child will have or want a partner with a foreskin, and what that might or might not mean to their sex lives.
post #37 of 141
I already addressed the fact I do not know my children's sexual orientation. But I can still take part in the conversation.
The foreskin has several sexual functions the penis doesn't function naturally/normally with out it. And I would hope my children wouldn't prefer mutilated genitalia (on men or women). My children will know why men have foreskin and it's functions.
post #38 of 141
:ummm i know i cant be with a man that is cut because I have had cut the past. so i know that the sex sucks and i dont enjoy it. I cant fall for someone who is not whole because this is a major thing that effects the whole relationship and YES i do ask. i will continue my education of my children (and everyone else) on what is wrong with cutting a baby and why it is bad. when they are bigger i will go in to it fully so that they understand it. i will share my past with my dd's and even my ds's and let them know that the sex is bad.
think that it takes alot of woman to speak up saying that sex is bad. maybe then people will start to listen. :
post #39 of 141
You seriously wouldn't be with a man because his penis is cut? Wild. How do you even find out? You ask someone you barely know about the status of their genitals? And that is make or break for you?

I find that shocking, and disturbing.
post #40 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby View Post
And I think it is weird and well off to prefer mutilated genitalia for your partner.

I think this conversation really brings to light how far we have to go with ending genital mutilation.
I don't think personal sexual preference is weird.

However, I don't think it has anything to do with RIC. It doesn't matter what the adult's preference may end up being, it can never justify mutilating an infant in any way. If the adult wants to modify their body, by piercings, circumcision, tattoos or anything else based on their preference, then fine.
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