do your interracial children "look" interracial?

[meowee]

Mamas of interracial children, do your kids actually "look" interracial? Has this brought up issues for you (positive or negative)?

I have 5 interracial children and only one definitely "looks" interracial. 2 of the remaining 4 are lighter than I am (which DH and I find totally bizarre) and the remaining two can pass for white but do look a little ethnic.

One problem that we have had is that no one thinks or even believes that DH is their father when he is out with them. I have to be very careful if an "authority" type figure is involved to introduce him specifically as "their father" (like for school dismissal, or at the doctors). People have even been very rude to him and expressed shock that "you couldn't be THEIR father." (People have actually said this!) The comments that we've gotten are pretty endless.

On another hurtful note I think my family was relieved to see how light the children came out... this is something that has always bothered me.

It also bothers me a little that my kids have no real identity or understanding of being any race other than white (except for my one daughter who does look ethnic-- she calls herself "medium dark"). When in fact they have at least 2 races/ cultures in them and I wish they understood this better. They definitely see their dad as "other" and "not like them" because his skin color is so different from theirs. (This despite all our explaining!)

[grumpybear]

I think my son looks exactly like me (I'm Filipino), although if he were in the Philippines, he would definitely look very mestizo (of mixed blood). He is much whiter than me. However, his white-ness is more of the yellow pigmentation (which is derived from my Chinese ancestry) rather than pinkish (as most Caucasians are).
I haven't had any issues with it yet as my son is only 18mos.
However, my SIL has a photo of my son as well as our wedding photo in her workstation. Whenever people ask him who the baby is, she always says that it's her brother's and points to our wedding photo. They then proceed to ask her, "Is he adopted?"
D-uh. So that I don't quite understand. I'm not offended, I'm just puzzled as I am, of course, in the wedding photo and look very, very Asian.

[*Aimee*]

My best friend is white, blond hair blue eyes, and her ex hubby was Hispanic. One of their daughters is blond with blue eyes and the other is dark with dark hair and eyes.

My sister is biracial, and she looks biracial. One of her friends has a black father and a white mother. This little girl has curly blond hair and big blue eyes but dark skin.

Aren't genetics a funny thing?

[VanessaS]

Very funny. I'm biracial and my DH is German and the kids look just like him. It's kind of funny because most people assume that the kids will be dark if one of the parents are. But I think they just don't understand genetics.

A cousin of mine is black and is married to a white American guy and their kids are blond with dark skin. It's really cute.

And another cousin of mine is German and married to a black American guy and one of their sons is blond and blue-eyed and the other one is dark-skinned and light green-eyed. Strangely, he has the eyes from his father (which looks really spectacular on a black guy).

[chinaKat]

my friend is Indian, her dh is white. She is sometimes mistaken for a nanny by strangers, even though the kids are clearly hers!!!!

:

[3boobykins]

My sisters kids are biracial--her dh in black. I would say both my nephews are medium-skinned. Their hair is wavy, not tightly curled like their dads. I'd say they would be seen as black, not obviously biracial. What I do know is that they are both beautiful boys!

[Iris' Mom]

DD is half Asian and half caucasian. She looks somewhat interracial, but most people cannot place her background. She gets guesses as diverse as Arab, Puerto Rican and Inuit.

Stbx is Puerto Rican, with Native, Black and European mixed in. He was very dark with tight curly black hair and pale green eyes. Ds1 has dark loose curly hair, blue eyes and fair skin. Ds2 is a carrot top, very straight and fine, with hazel eyes and very fair skin. People who know Ds1 claim that can tell he is interracial, but I've never had anyone guess he was if they didn't know. Ds2 definitely does not look interracial, even to the point that people who know question his paternity. Yes, the mailman/milkman thing. : Even though Ds1 is very fair, no one ever said anything to stbx when they were out without me, because their features look very similar.

[sandygirl]

I'm native american and white - DD's dad was hispanic. DD looks very native american - she has that half-breed coloring if you know what I mean {olive/rose skin, black eyes, sandy brown hair, etc}.

NO One can ever seem to figure out what she is! People think she is black, white, hispanic, asian, itialian, etc. It's quite interesting to watch!

[meowee]

Originally Posted by Iris' Mom

Yes, the mailman/milkman thing. : Even though Ds1 is very fair, no one ever said anything to stbx when they were out without me, because their features look very similar.

Yes, I've been asked by more than one person if my kids all have the same father, or, I'll be asked "where I got" (i.e. adopted) DD. It is very funny and sad all in one bundle.

[Joyster]

My son can pass as white, but not WASPy white. I'm interracial myself, so whatever "brown" he had in him was diluted by DH's very WASPy appearance. *g* We'll see what happens with the next baby.

Interracial kids always seem to be so much of roll of the dice. My friends who are white and asian, had a little boy, and he looks just like his mother who's asian. Another pair I know, same races, their first boy is a good blend, and lighter than his father's skin tone. The other boy looks just like his father, but still as light. It's so interesting to watch them grow up.

[pixie-n-hertwoboys]

my kids are interracial and don't look it. Dh is mexican but is a lighter brown with black curly hair and I'm pastey w/ dark, straight hair. Both kids have brown eyes. One has/had blonde hair and I would get alllllllllllll kinds of comments about him. some funny, some not so much. Whats funny is that the blonde totally has my husbands features and the black haired one has my features more. Genetics are a funny business.

I don't care! they are still cute no matter what!

[psyche]

My kids are half Chinese & half white. They definitely look mixed enough that neither my husband nor I get many questions about their parentage. They both have my husband's skin color, but lighter brown eyes (DS1's are "milk chocolate brown" while DS2's are "tree bark brown") and brown hair with hints of gold. A quarter of the students in my older son's class have Asian fathers and at-least-somewhat-blond mothers and he fits in amongst the general neither-one-nor-the-other looks.

[Sharlla]

What is WASP?

DH is almost half NA but he has brown hair and blue eyes like his mom. He looks very white.

[rambunctiouscurls]

Personally, I think our dd is a perfect blend. When we are all out and about, ppl can tell that she is biologically ours. When it's just me with her, I get asked what her dad's ethnicity is..and the guesses usually are middle eastern or hispanic etc.
I'm multiracial myself so I really feel for dd. Tackling a million questions a day as to "What she is" can get really old.

[happyhippiemama]

I am white, DD's bio-father is half Black and half Mexican ancestry.

DD's skin in the winter is about the color of my nice mid-summer tan, and in the summer she tans up lickity-split.

She has some facial features that are associated with stereotypical AA faces, but also a good bit of my features tossed in to mix it up.

Dark brown curly curly frizzy hair and dark eyes that are shaped just like mine.

DP is white, so when the three of us go out, DD is the "obviously" different one. Although we don't get too many comments about it - at least not yet.

[marzanmama]

WASP=White anglo-saxon protestant.


My sons are asian/caucasian. It's interesting how different people see different things.

My younger son is fair-skinned and has blondish hair, and I think he looks a lot like me (the white parent.) But my in-laws think he looks very asian because of his single eyelid.

My older son has much darker hair and skin and most people think he looks a lot like his daddy. But he has the almighty double eyelid which makes him look more white according to my inlaws. Double eyelids are highly desirable in Korean culture. My mother-in-law recently said that ds#1 could be the president of Korea with those eyelids. There you go--he's western enough looking to go very far in Asia! So crazy. FTR I adore my inlaws!

[RainCoastMama]

ITA that the 'what are they?' questions get a little old

We have 2 DDs, 1/2 Japanese and South Asian (Indian). DD1 looks filippina-ish, darker hair, large almond eyes, olive skin. DD2 looks like she's 1/2 Caucasian - very fair, porcelain skin, light brown hair and almond eyes. DD2 definately looks IR, whereas DD1 could 'pass' for a 'whole' of a few ethnicities.

Everywhere. Like Every. Where. we go with them, they get stared at, and someone's bound to ask what they are, or Asian people comment on what big eyes they have (we live in a NA city with probably the largest expat Asian population outside of Asia). DH and I used to joke at the end of the day to see who got the most questions. We take it in stride. Never had a negative comment (although a whole bunch of wierd stares in our time )

[marybethorama]

My kids all look different

You can see my oldest here

My middle looks more "white" IMO as his hair isn't as kinky. The youngest looks more Native American (dh's grandmother is Native American)

[Sharlla]

Originally Posted by marzanmama

WASP=White anglo-saxon protestant.
!

So what does a WASPy person look like? Not all white people look the same.

[todavia]

my DP is black/italian and i am jewish (russian/polish). he is usually mistaken for dominican or puerto rican and i am often assumed to be mediterranian, middle eastern or latina.

DS looks a lot like me but has DP's coloring and baby DD looks exactly like DP's baby pictures but is very light-skinned. see siggy for pictures...

we've gotten our fair share of rude questions and odd looks. i agree, the kids are beautiful :, but i definitely get tired of the continuous explanations and justifications. my responses depend on my mood and the way people come at us.

meowee - i also wonder how things will change as DC's begin to see themselves as "not white". DS has become more aware of skin tones in the past year and describes himself as light brown, DP as medium brown and me and DD as lightest brown.

sharlla - i think it's pretty safe to say that everyone on this thread knows that not all of anyone looks "the same". as i understand it, WASP describes a particular white ethnicity and is generally blond hair, blue eyes and very fair skin.