I don't think I can do this. Please help!

[moonchiald]

I don't think I can do things the way I wanted to and know that is best.

I went to the hospital and wasn't dialated at all, I was effaced 80%. I have been having contractions for going into 4 days. I am having back labor so bad that, after a ctx, my whole body shakes and when I was at the hospital the back labor wasn't even showing as real contractions.

I am home AMA. They said the baby's fluid was down to 5 and he had one decel. So they told me all the horrible things that could happen to him if we came home and his cord was compressed during a ctx.

I can't sleep again tonight because the ctx are coming too close and they hurt too much. I have to wake DH up about every 15 minutes to apply counter pressure.

Something changed earlier and when I try to pee, again it hurts so badly that I start to shake.

I am really to the point that I want to wake DH and go back to the hospital, get an epidural, and let them induce. The only thing that is stopping me, is knowing that it isn't the best choice for the baby, or is it? I can't be logical anymore.

I feel so broken. When we got back from the hospital, I lost it and was just sobbing. I never expected to be going into my 4th day of this. I can't find any relief.

I need the back labor to stop.

[pixiesmommy]

Can you try to stay on your hands and knees? Or maybe even lean over a birth ball or pile of pillows? I know that position is good for relieving back labor and it is the position they transport you in for prolapsed cord too.

Have you tried anything to "self induce?" See the sticky at the top of our DDC. Maybe have some pineapple or something Italian with all of those spices/herbs like parsley, basil, etc that are supposed to help??

How about using a hot pack for your back? Can you fill a tube sock with rice and heat it in the microwave? Or even take a hot shower and let it hit your back for awhile for some relief??

I'm sorry you're so miserable!!!
Hope it gets better soon. I don't know what I would do in your case. Induction with pitocin and all of that freaks me out too. If you're really scared though, wake your hubby and make him help you rationalize things!!

Manda

PS- DRINK DRINK DRINK!! If fluid really is low, this will help. Stay super-duper hydrated!!

[moonchiald]

I have tried most of the induction things and most of the back labor positions. Nothing seems to help. I am 41 weeks today (Monday).

I am trying to drink water but I get nauseated with each ctx so it hasn't been pleasant.

I just had another bad one and my whole body is shaking and not just a little. It is almost like a convulsion. It is getting worse with each one. I don't know how much my stress could be stressing the baby.

[pixiesmommy]

I think you should call your midwife or OB rather than going straight to the hospital. Would it help to have your DH hold you tight and try to stop the shaking? It is probably mostly nerves rather than something physical, but I can't say that for sure.

Trust your instincts. If you truly feel like you should go back in, then go!!! If you feel like you're just having a hard time of it, then try to relax and trust that intuition and I bet the shaking will stop.

If the only thing they determined in the hospital a few hours ago was that you had low fluids, then TRY TRY TRY to relax.

If water is making you queasy, try sipping something else- apple juice is good if you have some. Don't do orange juice- that will make you MORE nauseated. Any calories you can get are good because they will give you energy.

Maybe if you could get your DH to just commit to staying awake with you and calling in to work tomorrow no matter what happens, that would calm you down and you would feel less alone??

Also, getting really warm might help you. How about tossing some blankets in the dryer and wrapping up in them? If you're in shock, your face will be pale too and you should elevate your legs.

[sorteep]

I am praying for you.. bottom line, always follow your gut instincts.. go in if you feel deep down it is right.. back labor is so hard, you are doing great and remember there is no "wrong" way to bring a healthy baby into the world, just different paths, KWIM?? no worries if plans need to be changed.. we're all here for you..

[wwisdomskr]

You can do this, Mama. And you will. You know what is best for you and your baby and no one will judge you for that.

I will say, though, that effacement is a lot of work the first time that you birth a baby. That's what these contractions have been working on. And, baby may or may not be malpositioned a bit...since you're having back pain. Really, really strong counter-pressure and hip squeezes have always helped me. And water...lots and lots of warm water.

Eat some honey for energy and strength. Do you have any Emergen-C? My dh makes me wonderful slushes with it (ice, water and one packet in the blender). Or just put it in plain water so you can get the fluids down. You've got to eat and drink.

Put a hot pad on your back, lean over the birth ball, try to completely relax your pelvis and all the muscles. Go completely limp and just breathe, sing and moan during contractions.

Pain medication has it's place, if you are exhausted and can't go on. Trust yourself.

Sending lots of love, hugs and gentle birthing energy.

[wwisdomskr]

P.S. Decels are normal. It's variability that's important.

[ComfyCozy]

All I can think of is a malpositioned baby, and if baby's head isn't correctly applied to the cervix, you most certainly can have hideous back labor with what seems like no discernable progress.

I'm all for natural labor, but there's a reason that the pain meds are out there and if you're too exhausted to go on, then that's not going to help things either. If you're in too much pain to relax, then you'll be too tense for baby to rotate and for you to dilate. Some situations are such that the pain meds actually do more good than harm, and you might be in one of them. Only you can decide that, but whatever you choose, we're behind you 100%.

What's important is that you come away from this with a healthy Mama, healthy Baby, and satisfaction that you made the best decisions at the time in the situation you were given and with the information you had. You can still have a good birth memory, even with with unexpected bends in the road.

I hope things have taken a turn for the better by now...

[*GreenMama*]

I KNOW what you are going through.

I had such bad back labor for almost 4 days with my son (started on a Sunday and he was born that WEDNESDAY night!) I couldn't eat, or sleep, and by the time day 4 came around I was going insane from lack of rest.

When I couldn't take it anymore (not the pain but the delirum from not sleeping and not being able to lay down because the back pain was SO severe) my mw got me on a Stadol drip. Stadol is not a pain reducer and does NOT effect the baby in the same way as pain meds. What it does is puts you to sleep. If you are having "real contractions" the stadol will not stop them nor slow them down. If you are NOT having contractions you will at least get some recouprative rest, and maybe the braxton hicks will stop and maybe once you wake up you'll be more refreshed and labor WILL begin. As my mw said, if you're having false labor the Stadol should stop it and at LEAST give you some time to rest, and if you are in labor Stadol will not stop it, so for me it ended up being the best of both worlds.

I was given the Stadol at around 1 or 2pm and my son was born at 8:48pm, all natural, no epidural, no pain meds, and I was FULLY able to push, and again, it will not slow or stop labor if you're already in it.

I'm wishing you luck whatever you choose to do!

[pixiesmommy]

Just wanted to say you were on my mind and I hope everything is going better for you this morning. Hopefully you finally managed some rest.

Hugs,
Manda

[BoringTales]

Originally Posted by ComfyCozy

All I can think of is a malpositioned baby, and if baby's head isn't correctly applied to the cervix, you most certainly can have hideous back labor with what seems like no discernable progress.

I'm all for natural labor, but there's a reason that the pain meds are out there and if you're too exhausted to go on, then that's not going to help things either. If you're in too much pain to relax, then you'll be too tense for baby to rotate and for you to dilate. Some situations are such that the pain meds actually do more good than harm, and you might be in one of them. Only you can decide that, but whatever you choose, we're behind you 100%.

What's important is that you come away from this with a healthy Mama, healthy Baby, and satisfaction that you made the best decisions at the time in the situation you were given and with the information you had. You can still have a good birth memory, even with with unexpected bends in the road.

I hope things have taken a turn for the better by now...

Yup, I totally agree. You need to have enough energy to push that baby out. It is hard work, and if you are already exhausted and borderline delirious from lack of sleep, that makes it harder.

Sometimes birth doesn't go the way we plan it. There is no failure in getting help, and getting some pain relief. Its been safely used in millions of births. I think if there was ever an appropriate time, it would be in your case!

Good luck with your decision!

[GinaRae]

At this point, hon, you're not a machine, you're human. I would say you could use some help. If it gets to the point where you can't function like this, that's no good for the baby either.

I would go to the hospital and ease into the interventions, one at a time. Then if something works, you're good to go.

An epidural (*cringe*) may just allow you to sleep for 5 hours so you're ready to push.

Either way you decide, we're here for you!!

[chrysalis]

hugs mama.

[Curlita]

I'm with Gina and ComfyCozy... labor doesn't always go the way you want it to go and you might need to change your approach with the changing situation. If some pain relief will allow you to get rest and keep going, then don't rule it out.

[Valerieg]

ITA with the PPs...do whatever you can to get some recuperative sleep. You can do this medically by going in and asking for some kind of pain medication (or stadol as the PP mentioned) or do what you can to get it at home (sit on birth ball with head/arms on bed).

Also...drink whatever you can stomach and keep down. A hydrated uterus is a happy uterus and much more efficient at contracting. Dehydration is not good.

Between the lack of sleep and dehydration you could actually be prolonging this yourself. So do whatever you can to get both things- even an IV drip at this point!

And do your best to relax. Worrying can also slow labor.

GL!

[yogamama74]

Nothing to add to all the great advice already given here, just .

[NaomiMcC]

Moonchiald...now I know who you are!!! LOL!!! I pmd you on the "other board". Stay strong m'girl! You can do this! Major hugs!

[scatterbrainedmom]

Originally Posted by *HolisticMama*

When I couldn't take it anymore (not the pain but the delirum from not sleeping and not being able to lay down because the back pain was SO severe) my mw got me on a Stadol drip. Stadol is not a pain reducer and does NOT effect the baby in the same way as pain meds. What it does is puts you to sleep. If you are having "real contractions" the stadol will not stop them nor slow them down. If you are NOT having contractions you will at least get some recouprative rest, and maybe the braxton hicks will stop and maybe once you wake up you'll be more refreshed and labor WILL begin. As my mw said, if you're having false labor the Stadol should stop it and at LEAST give you some time to rest, and if you are in labor Stadol will not stop it, so for me it ended up being the best of both worlds.

I was given the Stadol at around 1 or 2pm and my son was born at 8:48pm, all natural, no epidural, no pain meds, and I was FULLY able to push, and again, it will not slow or stop labor if you're already in it.

I'm wishing you luck whatever you choose to do!

not in your DDC, but i wanted to respond to this. Stadol does affect the fetus. if you have and chance whatsoever of having your baby within 3 hours of receiving stadol you should not get it. i don't remember the specifics, but my midwife and i were talking about it. i was given it around 8cm and had him about an hour and a half after. baby needed to be resuscitated and was in the NICU for a few hours. something in the Stadol messes with babies lungs and you have to be VERY cautious with it.

i'm not trying to talk you out of it, just be informed about. like with all drugs, ask questions about everything.

[Ame]

it sounds like it won't be long...my thoughts are with you

[GooeyRN]

How are things going? Do you have a baby in arms yet?