Baby is breech again

[wwisdomskr]

and I just can't take this stress. I didn't want another baby, I certainly didn't want a boy and I really, really don't need this melodrama, anxiety and stress in my life. I am completely and utterly lost. It cost $1500 to get him to flip around last time. This time, who knows. MW is setting up a consult with an OB for an ultrasound and an external version. I've been working so hard to survive this pregnancy...and just putting all my faith into trusting that I will bond with this child when I give birth to him. Now, I really don't know anymore. Now, I feel like I couldn't care less. I am a horrible, horrible person and I really don't know what to do.

[Undercover Hippie]

Oh sweetie, big (((HUGS))) to you. You are not a horrible person. You just have a lot of stress right now! I hope baby will turn for you, I'm guessing a breech delivery is not possible in your area? And yes, I do think you will bond with him when he gets here, of course you will. But I totally understand feeling ambivalent now. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you!

[lisalulu]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that! You're not a horrible person-its been a really rough time for you. I can only imagine how frustrated you are. I'm sure you'll bond with your baby when he arrives.

I'll keep you in my thoughts-keep us posted on the OB appt/version. Stay strong!

[yogamama74]

You are definitely not a horrible person. You are completely normal to have each one of those feelings. I have felt on many occasions about this baby, "Oh God, what have I DONE?!" and I did with my last pregnancy too. I felt very guilty about that.

Dealing with the stress of turning a breech does not sound fun either. Many, many hugs and healing vibes to you right now. I hear your pain in your post and I am hoping for some peace for you.

Feeling like I wasn't sure I wanted the baby last time I was pregnant and worrying about bonding with him (my THIRD him) all disappeared once I met him. I'm sure it will be the same for you.

[*Lindsey*]

[veganjoy]

I understand your feelings of frustration at the baby (when mine was breech, I wondered constantly and angrily "why is she doing this to me?"). You are not a horrible person. Praying all these details will work out for you, and for peace.

[Kontessa]

I know I am wierd and all but I remember feeling a lot of that and for some of those very same reasons. Why must it all be so hard, not like I planned for this baby and things are not hard enough as is....

BUT when all is said and done, I feel silly for it all. Baby is here and things are harder but also more wonderful and loving baby is not an issue. Sleep and pain however..... LOL

Life is constint challenge, if it where not this, it would be something else, this I am well aware. It is also a blessing, even the hard the stuff. I do not say this thinking it will make anything better but rather my own hind-site that I think you will get too.

Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself!

[chrysalis]

wwisdom, you are not a horrible person, by far.......i have felt many of these same emotions/thoughts about my being pg again............and now that i'm a single mom again i feel them once in a while....i try to shoo them away cuz of the guilt i feel so awful. i often wonder if i'll love this little guy like i love megh and so forth...and why a boy and why'd i wind up pg and blah blah blah...and then the pity party of now i have 2 kids from 2 different f*cked up relationships and what does that do to them and what does that say about me as a woman and so forth.......i try to be gentle w/ myself too....but some moments are harder than others. when i thought sheamas might be breech i was feeling angry w/ him and just about being pg w/ him as well. i thought oh no don't you do this to me...i do NOT want another ceserean, kid....etc. etc. thankfully he wasn't breech but ya never know what they will do at last minute. yours can flip too. have you tried putting feet way up high and putting cold packs on his head? they don't like that and i've heard they most likely will move. try it and try it and try it.....see if it works.......? in the meantime, do all you can to turn him and hang in there. you are NOT alone, mama......i don't know WHAT the heck i'm going to do w/ a boy but hopefully i won't mess this one up so that he turns out like so many of the lost boys and messed up mice of men out there in our world. i'm a nervous wreck about it actually.........

[monocyte]

Wow, again. I think anyone going through what you've been through would feel the exact same way. I don't think your horrible at all. Pregnancy brings out the best and worst in everyone, but more of the worst.

DS was breech for a long time, he flipped right about his due date; it took a lot of effort (and money) as well.

Thinking of you...

[Googy]

Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I titally understand why you are so upset. DD was also a very stubborn breech, I tried everything and nothing worked. I ended up stuck with a c-section which I really really didn't want. I finally came to peace with it though. I chose to trust my baby: perhaps there was a reason that she insisted on staying breech. Maybe there would have been a cord prolaps or something else dangerous or unhealthy for her. I chose to trust her instincts, and decided that all I REALLY needed was a healthy, live baby, and if I had to have surgery in order for that to happen, then that's what I had to have. It took me a long time to get there, but it was really helpful to me to come to this peace. Hang in there and please keep us posted!

[renaissanceed]

Many hugs. Echoing the PPs you are not horrible, you're having a rough time & breech babies are frustrating.

[GinaRae]

I also have to wonder if there is a reason that he needs to be breech. AND I wonder why you cannot be allowed to deliver breech?