Originally Posted by mrskennedy
xekomaya, know that it's not really an MW's responsibility to be an advocate for you.
Thank you - you're right. I think I didn't explain myself well, or really just used the word wrong. I really just mean a trusted medical professional, in a situation that I would want a medical professional.
For example, if I transfer, it will be for a c-section, it would be nice to have her explaining any pain relief options I have/answering my questions after. As prepared as I am there are likely to be things I don't know about and in that case I'll take a trusted opinion -- someone who will remind me of herbal options, etc. DH's only job after the baby is out, is to ensure the care of the baby, I don't want him to be distracted trying to help me.
Maybe that is a little more clear? Birth is a private act, but every woman deserves a supportive community behind her in stressful times -- I don't really have that so I'm hoping a medical professional who has similar ideas of birth & medical care will make it easier for me to advocate for myself should it be necessary that anyone is involved at all.
To the OP, the "oops" strategy I think is fairly common. Lots of people UC but not necessarily UP. The midwife I'm seeing is actually a CNM, but shes the most laid back and like-minded of everyone I interviewed. She was recommended to me by some mamas on MDC actually. I interviewed tons and tons of midwives in the area over the phone and "fired" all of them before I had to even see them. The hombirth forum has some great questions to help interview a midwife if you decide to go that route.
Then again, if fear of CPS is the only reason you're choosing a midwife, I might tend to agree with some of the PP's re: the fear aspect. There are a lot of other issues and considerations when you indicate that another person is "allowed" to be at your birth, even if you plan to change the plan. I could talk for hours about why that decision is right for me and my husband, but my reasons won't be your reasons.
Just as MrsKennedy was saying to me, and she's very right, a medical professional can't protect you from anything.
I think part of restoring birth will result in restoring the medical profession. They should be a trusted and valuable resource in our community. It's so sad that we can even talk about being scared to see or use a medical professional when necessary, either for their behavior or legal consequences
That was really long, sorry!