Caling all doulas or birth attendants:

[lovetobemama]

Some of you may already know this, but for those who don't, my sister is currently living with us, waiting to have her first baby. Her DH got a new job a month ago, but it is out of town, so he is working and setting up the new house, while she is here preparing for birth.

I am not a certified by DONA, but have read the full training manual and many other resources, and I will be serving as her support person in labor.

While I know I am not an experienced doula, I do feel that I have done a good amount of preparation to support her and her husband in this delivery. However, she is almost 39 weeks, and has started to feel some changes in her BH ctx, as well as being 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. So I think we are getting close here!

Well, to make a long story long, I just kind of realized today that, even though I am "book" ready, there might be some awesome advice that some of my MDC mamas could give me going into this birth.
With your various experiences, are there one or two jems of advice that you would have to give to this first time labor support person?

Thanks so much, mamas!!
Emily

[LawrenceDoula]

I was SO nervous before my first birth, but afterwards I realized that love and intuition really got me through most of it. The most important thing to the mom is that you were there, going through it WITH her.

I'm sure you'll do great!

[Gunter]

just be there for whatever she needs from you, regardless of what you may have in mind, trust her needs at the moment to be most important. you will be great b/c you care for her! i was so nervous the first birth i attended, too! it will be so fun to bond with your family this way!

[applecore]

Just be there to assure her that her body will tell her what to do. Most women are always looking for someone to give them an answer as to what they should be doing. So when she asks, ask her what she feels like doing before offering suggestions. Good luck, and have fun!

[homemademomma]

i remember my first birth as a training midwife- i was all prepared with my birth ball and my tennis ball and my double hip squeeze. . . but i didnt end up using any of it! every birth is different, and i think it is important to remember that your biggest job is emotional support, and being a "witness" for this woman, if that makes any sense. you know the tricks of the trade, and you may or may not need them. she may want to hang on to you during every ctx, or she might yell at you for breathing on her! follow her cues, and make sure you are clear ahead of time on what she does/does not want (wrt holding the baby, episiotomy, etc).

[sarahn4639]

Other than what has been mentioned, one of the things I get the most positive feedback on is reminding the mother that she is in charge. If someone wants to check her she can refuse, she can refuse the IV, push however, ect. That can be hard for her to do in the moment, but with your reminder, she can be reminded of the power she does have. I always stress that prenatally as well, with the exception that if it is a true emergency then you have to trust your care provider. I feel that birth is a really powerful experience, even though it sometimes doesn't feel like it when you are there. So, reminding moms of their power of decision making, as well as how wonderful and powerful and amazing their bodies are, is as helpful as the physical things we do.

[melibee]

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[rubyeta]

Hi im not in your ddc, but i am a doula. One thing that i think is really important when you are pg and attending a birth is self care. it is wonderful to support your sister, but at the same time, it is important to make sure you stay hydrated and fed. One thing that i have found myself doing w/o realizing it is bearing down when my client is pushing! I have learned to put a sort of "protective shield" around myself. Good luck. Im sure you will do a great job.

[lovetobemama]

Thank you guys so much!!! It is really helping me to feel more ready! And I LOVE the reminder about the protective shield. I didn't even think about how I would do watching her push. The last thing I need to be doing at 27 weeks pregnant is pushing along with her without realizing it for an hour!

I love the suggestion to ask her what she wants first when she wants a change, rather than just jumping in with a suggestion. I would have liked that with my own labor, in hindsight.

Thanks so much, mamas. Keep it coming!

[Jezzy]

I have attended 3 births of my sisters. I was fortunate enough to be in America at the time and they asked me to be with them. I felt really honored. The first time I was 19. I loved it. The second and third time were 2 and 4 years ago. It was natural for me and I am glad that I was there. My sisters dh was not doing a very good job ( first birth) I Knew what my sis needed and when. After the baby was born the mw said to me " you know what?? this is what you need to be doing " I was over the moon!!

You will do a great job, I know you will!!