Replying without reading second half of the posts.....(new baby fussing here)
My DH is very much like yours. Many men tend to be programmed as "risk managers" and they see (when not having all the info) hospital, well "managed" births as the way to minimize the potential harm that could come to thier DW and baby. This is giving them credit....now, back to reality....
What I found with DH, was trying to see his side to start out, and keep in mind that we both wanted the same healthy birth, but had different ideas on how to get there.
We did Bradley classes, which gave him a new set of info. He is an info junkie. Plus having the neutral 3rd party presenting it helped. Some stuff he was skeptical and looked more into. But in the end, the more info I provided him with from legit sources, then more he became balance in the set of info he had.
I know this is more middle line than some other people may agree with, but it was important to me to go into labor with DH and I together. I tried to see his side, then present the info to him on my side, as well as being able to give him solid info to put his concerns at ease.
We had a great birth.