Hubby won't let me deliver at a birthing center - Page 5

[HeathenMommy]

So next week Hubby and I are supposed to sit down with the OB we've agreed to use so far... I'm not expecting that she won't feed us a line of hospital approved pap... (can I say pap?)

I'll update once there's anything more to add.

But in the meantime, are there any other message boards with similar topics that you frequent? I'm wondering if there are other similar perspectives out there.

[Olerica]

I can understand how conflicting this could be. DH is opposed to a home birth but is open to a birthing center. He was nervous about waterbirth until I did a ton of research.

I'm sure that his concern is over loosing you and/or baby. I agree with the approach that more education on his part is warranted. The last birth that he was attached to had "complications" with a result of the cesearian. He equates this scarry birth thing (for him - you are uncomfortable and he wants to protect you) with an emergency procedure. Sounds like he's a good guy who is terribly mis-informed.

Let us know what the result is.

[pamamidwife]

I frimly believe that your dh should at least go with you to interview at a birth center and ask questions. Without this compromise, he is really invalidating your concerns and your hopes for this birth. I think that men look at birth in a very black and white way (the medical model is based on a linear, male-oriented view of the body) -

If, after the interview, he still feels iffy perhaps reading some information will help.

If he doesn't at least do some work on his own, I'd say that it's not as important to him as it is to you and it's your decision. With my ex, if he disagreed with something in relation to parenting, we both brought our statistics and information to the table to discuss. Without him doing any homework, it's totally insulting to your views.

[quarteralien]

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

That's exactly what I did. In fact, I told dh, "If I have to birth this baby in the woods by myself, so be it." I would not set foot in a hospital for birth again. Dh could join me in my homebirth or not, but it was going to be MY way, not his.

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but I just want to say, this has been my fantasy birth since before I conceived the first time. I'm looking forward to it, finally.

[newmama8824]

Okay, he may have helped in making this baby when it comes down to, your body is the one that is carrying it and you are the one that is going to birth this child, therefor, you put YOUR foot down and explain to him why you want this and that it is ultimately your decision.

[anne1006]

I agree that you should at least have an interview at the birth center with him so he can ask questions. You already know that you don't want to do this at the hospital, and it seems you've made up your mind that you do want to go to the birth center. This is your body and health that is at stake here, not just the baby's. I regret the choices I made at my first birth so much, and resented myself for my decisions and my caving under pressure, and resented those that pushed me and scared me into making those deicisions. I would hate for you to come away from this feeling the same. Relationships are indeed about compromise, but when it is such an important thing that affects you so much more than him you may need to put yourself first.
Good luck at the OB, but like you said, he/she's probably just gonna feed you a line of BS anyways, and your hubby will be all gung ho about it.