Is this really how they do it. - Page 3

[seoul_mama]

Originally Posted by gaialice

i am so sorry Seoul Mama! I really wonder why pediatricians do that. I am not Catholic, but the church around here does a lot, a lot for educating parents re. CIO. The local authority's departments in charge of young children and health make a point about sending you very detailed CIO guides as soon as you're back home from the hospital with the baby. It is such a conspiracy. It is horrible, especially that for me it was a sacrifice to spend so much so much time parenting my kids to sleep and it was not easy on so many levels yk and plus evey mom around me was CIO and had plenty of time to themselves.... but for all this I am so, so happy I never let them cry...

Thanks for this gaialice. I've been trying to figure this out and perhaps you have a better understanding of this... that is, what is the benefit of cio? It's clear, for instance, that major corps like nestle campaign aggressively to discourage women from bf, in order for the corps to make $$$$. So who is it that's making money off of cio? Here's the thing... I step back and REALLY look at this question and one possible reason comes to mind. Simply, in a capitalistic society, every individual is responsible for his/her fate. Therefore, if you're sleep deprived bc of your baby, then you're not at the top of your game which, in turn, might lead to loss of job, loss of promotions, etc... So then cio is seen as helping parents to sleep so that they can be on top of their game. But then I think... this makes absolutely NO sense! While there might be long stretches of all-nighters, I still think I get more sleep than the average cio family... am I wrong?

[sdm1024]

What really worries me though is that 'these' mothers spend so much time and money doing research and buying the best buggy, cot, bouncer chair, swing, clothes, etc.... But when it come to this. They dont think. They dont research. They just do it. And if they are not sure...they will only ask 'How do you do it?' (yet - on a side not - when it comes to 'my parenting' techniques, they want 'proof' and 'research' thats its 'better/good/etc'...but wont even think twice about leaving their child to cry like that!!!....it makes me so frustrated, angry and sad all at the same time! ugh!!!)

I completely agree.

I've just stopped talking to the mainstream about co-sleeping anymore, beacuse I can't understand thier thinking and disconnect from their own children.

Ok, and here's a little OT vent.....since when did Pediatricians become the authority on everything related to parenting????? I can't stand when an MD tells me how to parent my children.

[goodheartedmama]

what makes me sicker is the people who cosleep for the first few months when it's convenient for them, then introduce them to this cold, lonely "cage" and don't even do anything to help them adjust. I know several people to go straight from cosleeping to CIO in a crib, in their own room, because cosleeping wasn't convenient anymore. How horrible to make them feel safe and secure, then ruin it all. Yuck.

[Eben'sMama]

I can't take these CIO threads. They just hurt my heart.

[AutumnMelody]

I once had a nurse tell me that I needed to leave my baby to cry because he was over 10 lbs. and should therefore be able to sleep through the night without a problem. In her mind he had absolutely no excuse to wake for any reason at that point. He was around 4 weeks old at the time.

[Momtwice]

Originally Posted by AutumnMelody

I once had a nurse tell me that I needed to leave my baby to cry because he was over 10 lbs. and should therefore be able to sleep through the night without a problem. In her mind he had absolutely no excuse to wake for any reason at that point. He was around 4 weeks old at the time.

Yikes! What about babies who are born at 10 lbs?

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

Yikes! What about babies who are born at 10 lbs?

or babies who are born at over 10 pounds? were they supposed to be STTN in utero? and if they weren't, were their moms supposed to leave them in there to cry all alone?

[_betsy_]

At around 6 months, the ped tried to tell us we "had" to do at leat some CIO at that age. I said No. I told her I was quite alright with the interrupted sleep and that I had not asked for her opinion or advice on sleeping issues. She dropped it right away, but it makes me so sad to think of how many parents she's probably said that to.

[funkygranolamama]

when i was young and dumb a doctor told me to cio with my first child. i wasn't getting sleep because i was formula feeding (and i'm not downing formula for those of you who must do it, but i could have breastfed had there been support there) and was up most of the night making bottles. a doctor told me that i needed my sleep and i should put the baby in a crib and let her cry. the first night i put her in there and sat outside for about 15 minutes and let her cry....while i cried right outside the door. i think she knew i was there. my dh came out of the bedroom and i said "i can't do this". i got her out of there and never forced her in there again. i can't believe people recommend cio. i think the key is educating those who don't know there are other options, which sometimes may involved sticking our noses in where they don't belong. but hey, if that protects a baby from suffrage, i'm all for it. i wish someone had stuck their nose in my business.

[Nerdzilla78]

Our old pediatrician told us we needed to sleep train and get the baby out of our bed. I looked her right in the eye and said, "I'm raising a baby, not training a dog. All of us sleep better this way, it's working, let it be." She harped on it for a while, and eventually I ended the appt. This, along with some MAJOR medical mistakes, led to us finding our current pediatrician. He's awesome.. fully supports our cosleeping, amongst other things.

[pumpkinyum]

Originally Posted by yarngoddess

while my niece was screaming in her cage

Um....they put her in a cage???

[MilkTrance]

A crib has bars and stuff, like a cage.

A crib doesn't have to be a cage, of course, but if a baby is left in it to CIO, I can definitely see how it can become one.

Everytime I feel that chubby hand against me and I hear the baby snorts and cuddle with my perfect family, I am so glad I didn't listen to the CIO-advocates. They are truly missing out on one of the most enjoyable experiences.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by goodheartedmama

what makes me sicker is the people who cosleep for the first few months when it's convenient for them, then introduce them to this cold, lonely "cage" and don't even do anything to help them adjust. I know several people to go straight from cosleeping to CIO in a crib, in their own room, because cosleeping wasn't convenient anymore. How horrible to make them feel safe and secure, then ruin it all. Yuck.

I detest this too. I actually have more time for the babywisers. At least they are consistent. I have NO problem with sleeping separately but to cosleep and then POOF one day decide it's 'cold turkey' in the crib just makes me sick. And it's more and more common as cosleeping with newborns becomes more acceptable. :

[baileyandmikey]

Originally Posted by hipmummy

It makes me want to vomitt

me too!

[macca]

Originally Posted by readytobedone

or babies who are born at over 10 pounds? were they supposed to be STTN in utero? and if they weren't, were their moms supposed to leave them in there to cry all alone?

How would they learn to be independent otherwise?! Don't you know how important self-soothing is?

[AwakenedMama]

Wow, how sad. I'm glad I read this thread, though. I haven't ever been in the home of someone who was CIO at the time, but if I am now, I would definitely say something and have to leave if they didn't help the baby. How can people do this??

Our daughter cries in the car seat sometimes, and it is so hard for us. It's often when she's tired, so if we have a long trip, we try to give her 5 minutes to see if she falls asleep and if not we pull over and get her out for a break. And we can barely make that. It's so hard on us and her, but we haven't figured out a better solution. I can't imagine doing that for sleep!

And, for what it's worth, we love bedsharing. We all sleep great. She wakes partially many times to nurse, and I wake partially, and we all get our rest and she gets her nutrition. And in the morning, I have no idea how many times she woke. I'm sorry that some mamas here don't have as good of an experience as their friends who CIO do with sleep. I wouldn't trade the co-sleeping experience for anything.

[A&A]

My dh said this against CIO:

"If my dog is barking, I'll go see what's wrong and what he needs. Why wouldn't I do the same thing for a crying baby?"

I thought that was a good point!

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by A&A

My dh said this against CIO:

"If my dog is barking, I'll go see what's wrong and what he needs. Why wouldn't I do the same thing for a crying baby?"

I thought that was a good point!

:

but then again, people are notorious for treating their pets better than their kids. i mean, people sleep with their pets all the time, but sleeping with your kids is creepy, dependence-promoting and borderline incestuous! :

[macca]

Originally Posted by readytobedone

:

but then again, people are notorious for treating their pets better than their kids. i mean, people sleep with their pets all the time, but sleeping with your kids is creepy, dependence-promoting and borderline incestuous! :

Most people are against hitting animals as well

[bwylde]

I can barely even talk to other mothers with young children (especially ones with little bitty babies) anymore as all the talk of CIO, baby training and other things foreign to me just make me feel ill. It seems to be all they talk about; makes me wonder if they really are secure in their choices.. Sure I'm jealous their babies sleep (heck, I still have a job with my 3 and 5 year old and they still sleep with us), but if the sleep comes at that cost, it's not worth it.