Last night, our next door neighbors knocked on our door and said they'd come home from work to find their pit-bull gone from their backyard, with no evidence of him having found a way out, which makes them think someone came into the yard and stole him.
They wondered if we'd seen anyone in their backyard -- and we explained we hadn't been outside that day (of course, they know we're normally outside a lot, but we just didn't happen to make it out yesterday), and hadn't noticed anything.
So this morning, the neighbors' young adult son knocked on our door and handed me a cell phone; English isn't their first language and there was a woman on the phone explaining that the young man had to leave the house for an errand and wanted me to watch the backyard to make sure no one broke into their house while he was gone.
I said I'd periodically look into the backyard, and call police if I saw anyone back there -- but also explained that with 2 young children, I couldn't look out the window the whole time. Maybe it was unnecessary (or rude) to add that latter part -- but I was concerned lest I give the impression I had the time to keep their house safe by standing guard whenever they were gone.
Well, a short time later, I got another knock on the door and this time it was a lady who used to live up the street and is good friends with these neighbors. She asked me if I could please keep an eye on my neighbors' house, and call police if I saw anyone in their yard, because earlier that morning, someone broke into the young son's car and stole his stereo.
(That incident happened before he'd knocked on my door and gone to run the errand, so it sounds like he was still home when his car was broken into.)
The lady also mentioned about the dog being stolen yesterday, and how the person who did that likely was wanting to make it easier to break in, and if the neighbor's house got hit, my house would get hit, too. I agreed and said dh and I were both concerned about the dog being taken.
I told this woman we'd had an attempted break-in last winter; my oldest had come downstairs and seen a man right outside our dining-room window. When she yelled, "What are you doing?!" the man got startled and ran off. Then I came down and discovered he'd forced our window open, and had obviously been preparing to climb in when dd came down and surprised him. Apparently he'd assumed no one was home, since dh takes our only car to work.
It still upsets me to think what might've happened if dd had come down a few moments later, after that man was already inside. I told this woman that none of our neighbors had noticed or reported this man trying to break in -- and that I sure would call police if I saw anything suspicious at anyone else's house, because that's exactly what I'd want the neighbors to do for me.
But again, I explained that we weren't outdoors yesterday -- and it's cold today so we aren't likely to be out there today, either. The best I can do is look out periodically, which I've been doing.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but all these knocks on our door are starting to make me feel weird, like I'm somehow being held responsible for being the SAHM who's allowed all these bad things to happen while everyone else was at work.
I didn't feel that way after the first 2 visits; I certainly thought it was good for me to be aware of the dog-theft. But after the 3rd visit -- it's starting to get kind of old. After the attempted break-in at our house last winter, I didn't go around asking neighbors, "Did you see anyone in our back yard, forcing open our window?" -- because I figured if anyone had seen THAT, they certainly would have called police.
In retrospect, it probably would've been wise for me to inform neighbors that this had happened. But to keep going back and saying, "Please watch our house, and call police if you see someone trying to climb in a window!" -- I would've seen that as insulting to my neighbors, as if they had to be TOLD to report something like that.
I've always striven to have friendly relations with our neighbors. Initially I was excited that we're the racial minority on our block, excited that our daughters will have lots of firsthand opportunities to learn a second language. Our 7yo loves playing with the other children, and I'm always out there watching her, chatting and getting to know everyone.
But the people next door seem -- while outwardly friendly -- to be kind of vindictive toward us. A few months ago, the dad wanted us to pay him to do some work we needed done in our yard. (It's true that lots of work needs to be done, but we don't really have money to pay for it. So dh's been taking care of what he can on his own -- and for some of the jobs he needs help with, one of our friends who dh often helps with computer-related issues, is going to help which will cut our costs considerably.)
So, the neighbor told me we needed the work done, he had the tools to do it, and to have my dh talk with him (I'm assuming he wanted to be paid for it, but maybe I'm wrong). Well, dh never talked with him about it, though we've continued to say "hi" and wave, and dd continues to ask to play with their ds, who always has other things to do and kind of blows her off.
Then, a few weeks ago, dh noticed a whole ton of junk had been piled up in the alley behind our house. The junk looks very similar to what he'd seen in the neighbors' yard when they were doing some work -- but of course he didn't actually see them pile it in our alley, and we want good relations and have no desire to accuse them, or sneak the stuff behind their house or anything like that. We'll just have to deal with it now.
But this seeming vindictiveness makes me a little worried about what might happen to us if there's any more crime in the neighborhood, on what the neighbors apparently consider to be my "watch," since I'm one of the few moms who's home all day. Am I weird to be feeling like they're somehow blaming me for this?
They wondered if we'd seen anyone in their backyard -- and we explained we hadn't been outside that day (of course, they know we're normally outside a lot, but we just didn't happen to make it out yesterday), and hadn't noticed anything.
So this morning, the neighbors' young adult son knocked on our door and handed me a cell phone; English isn't their first language and there was a woman on the phone explaining that the young man had to leave the house for an errand and wanted me to watch the backyard to make sure no one broke into their house while he was gone.
I said I'd periodically look into the backyard, and call police if I saw anyone back there -- but also explained that with 2 young children, I couldn't look out the window the whole time. Maybe it was unnecessary (or rude) to add that latter part -- but I was concerned lest I give the impression I had the time to keep their house safe by standing guard whenever they were gone.
Well, a short time later, I got another knock on the door and this time it was a lady who used to live up the street and is good friends with these neighbors. She asked me if I could please keep an eye on my neighbors' house, and call police if I saw anyone in their yard, because earlier that morning, someone broke into the young son's car and stole his stereo.
(That incident happened before he'd knocked on my door and gone to run the errand, so it sounds like he was still home when his car was broken into.)
The lady also mentioned about the dog being stolen yesterday, and how the person who did that likely was wanting to make it easier to break in, and if the neighbor's house got hit, my house would get hit, too. I agreed and said dh and I were both concerned about the dog being taken.
I told this woman we'd had an attempted break-in last winter; my oldest had come downstairs and seen a man right outside our dining-room window. When she yelled, "What are you doing?!" the man got startled and ran off. Then I came down and discovered he'd forced our window open, and had obviously been preparing to climb in when dd came down and surprised him. Apparently he'd assumed no one was home, since dh takes our only car to work.
It still upsets me to think what might've happened if dd had come down a few moments later, after that man was already inside. I told this woman that none of our neighbors had noticed or reported this man trying to break in -- and that I sure would call police if I saw anything suspicious at anyone else's house, because that's exactly what I'd want the neighbors to do for me.
But again, I explained that we weren't outdoors yesterday -- and it's cold today so we aren't likely to be out there today, either. The best I can do is look out periodically, which I've been doing.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but all these knocks on our door are starting to make me feel weird, like I'm somehow being held responsible for being the SAHM who's allowed all these bad things to happen while everyone else was at work.
I didn't feel that way after the first 2 visits; I certainly thought it was good for me to be aware of the dog-theft. But after the 3rd visit -- it's starting to get kind of old. After the attempted break-in at our house last winter, I didn't go around asking neighbors, "Did you see anyone in our back yard, forcing open our window?" -- because I figured if anyone had seen THAT, they certainly would have called police.
In retrospect, it probably would've been wise for me to inform neighbors that this had happened. But to keep going back and saying, "Please watch our house, and call police if you see someone trying to climb in a window!" -- I would've seen that as insulting to my neighbors, as if they had to be TOLD to report something like that.
I've always striven to have friendly relations with our neighbors. Initially I was excited that we're the racial minority on our block, excited that our daughters will have lots of firsthand opportunities to learn a second language. Our 7yo loves playing with the other children, and I'm always out there watching her, chatting and getting to know everyone.
But the people next door seem -- while outwardly friendly -- to be kind of vindictive toward us. A few months ago, the dad wanted us to pay him to do some work we needed done in our yard. (It's true that lots of work needs to be done, but we don't really have money to pay for it. So dh's been taking care of what he can on his own -- and for some of the jobs he needs help with, one of our friends who dh often helps with computer-related issues, is going to help which will cut our costs considerably.)
So, the neighbor told me we needed the work done, he had the tools to do it, and to have my dh talk with him (I'm assuming he wanted to be paid for it, but maybe I'm wrong). Well, dh never talked with him about it, though we've continued to say "hi" and wave, and dd continues to ask to play with their ds, who always has other things to do and kind of blows her off.
Then, a few weeks ago, dh noticed a whole ton of junk had been piled up in the alley behind our house. The junk looks very similar to what he'd seen in the neighbors' yard when they were doing some work -- but of course he didn't actually see them pile it in our alley, and we want good relations and have no desire to accuse them, or sneak the stuff behind their house or anything like that. We'll just have to deal with it now.
But this seeming vindictiveness makes me a little worried about what might happen to us if there's any more crime in the neighborhood, on what the neighbors apparently consider to be my "watch," since I'm one of the few moms who's home all day. Am I weird to be feeling like they're somehow blaming me for this?
Hope it all turns out okay for you all!
