When I posted my birth announcement, Googy asked for advice/tips/encouragement for other VBACers. I started thinking about that and this is what I came up with (it's sort of excerpted from my birth story... which is becoming a birth novel... which I will post at some point, possibly in chapters, 
).
One of the weirdest parts of the experience was having people (nurse, midwife, doula, etc.) tell me how amazing I was and what an amazing birth it had been. I didn’t feel like I did anything other than what my body needed me to do, and I didn’t feel particularly brave or amazing while I was doing it. I think that one of the keys to succeeding in a VBAC is really believing that you are not inherently a person who requires a C-section. I was lucky that my first C-section was because of a flukey double nuchal cord and there was no reason for me to believe that would happen again. And it didn’t make me doubt my own abilities to labor and birth a baby. So I didn’t have to work very hard to convince myself that I could do this.
We all have birth baggage and it's hard not to assume that the challenges we faced with our first birth will present themselves in the second... but we all need to keep reminding ourselves that past experience does not predict the future. There were so many things about this labor and birth that were completely different from my first. I'm totally convinced now that no two labors are EVERY alike.
Second, I also made my peace with having another C-section, in part because of an early placenta previa diagnosis. I was forced to really consider what it would be like if my only two births were both sections, and what might help me be okay with that. Having a Plan B really helped.
Third, I have to say that there were a few moments during transition and near the end of the birth that I felt like I would have accepted a C-section in order to get out of laboring. Labor is well named because it is hard work. When I had to have a C-section with Dylan, I felt guilty about the flood of relief that I experienced over being able to get out of further laboring. During this labor I recognized that it was okay to have feelings like that, to want to be able to get out of doing the hard work. It's another way of saying, "I don't think I can do this," which everyone feels at some point during labor (or so I'm told).
As far as concrete advice about achieving a VBAC… the things that really seemed to help keep me from psyching myself out were laboring at home as long as I could. By the time we left to go, I was really only able to focus on the present. There wasn't a lot of anticipation waiting around at the hospital. Also, there was less time for any over-analysis on the part of the nurses that might lead someone to believe that something wasn't going just right or that we needed an intervention. I was probably too late for an epidural too, although I didn't feel tempted to ask for one in any case.
It also helped to NOT ASK questions while I was laboring. I seriously considered asking my birth team how far apart and how long my contractions were, whether they thought I was in transition, how much longer anyone thought it might be and I resisted the urge. I am a total control freak and it took a lot of will for me to NOT ASK and to focus on getting through each moment, each contraction. It really helped to keep me in the present.
Also, I vocalized. A lot. Really loudly. This is something that I had tried to keep from doing with Dylan and I don’t know how I would have labored without making noise this time around. It really helped to send that energy out of my body on a wave of sound.
And I had a doula. I cannot stress how important having a doula was!!! Even with people I love surrounding me, the calming presence and wise words of the doula made an enormous difference.
).One of the weirdest parts of the experience was having people (nurse, midwife, doula, etc.) tell me how amazing I was and what an amazing birth it had been. I didn’t feel like I did anything other than what my body needed me to do, and I didn’t feel particularly brave or amazing while I was doing it. I think that one of the keys to succeeding in a VBAC is really believing that you are not inherently a person who requires a C-section. I was lucky that my first C-section was because of a flukey double nuchal cord and there was no reason for me to believe that would happen again. And it didn’t make me doubt my own abilities to labor and birth a baby. So I didn’t have to work very hard to convince myself that I could do this.
We all have birth baggage and it's hard not to assume that the challenges we faced with our first birth will present themselves in the second... but we all need to keep reminding ourselves that past experience does not predict the future. There were so many things about this labor and birth that were completely different from my first. I'm totally convinced now that no two labors are EVERY alike.
Second, I also made my peace with having another C-section, in part because of an early placenta previa diagnosis. I was forced to really consider what it would be like if my only two births were both sections, and what might help me be okay with that. Having a Plan B really helped.
Third, I have to say that there were a few moments during transition and near the end of the birth that I felt like I would have accepted a C-section in order to get out of laboring. Labor is well named because it is hard work. When I had to have a C-section with Dylan, I felt guilty about the flood of relief that I experienced over being able to get out of further laboring. During this labor I recognized that it was okay to have feelings like that, to want to be able to get out of doing the hard work. It's another way of saying, "I don't think I can do this," which everyone feels at some point during labor (or so I'm told).
As far as concrete advice about achieving a VBAC… the things that really seemed to help keep me from psyching myself out were laboring at home as long as I could. By the time we left to go, I was really only able to focus on the present. There wasn't a lot of anticipation waiting around at the hospital. Also, there was less time for any over-analysis on the part of the nurses that might lead someone to believe that something wasn't going just right or that we needed an intervention. I was probably too late for an epidural too, although I didn't feel tempted to ask for one in any case.
It also helped to NOT ASK questions while I was laboring. I seriously considered asking my birth team how far apart and how long my contractions were, whether they thought I was in transition, how much longer anyone thought it might be and I resisted the urge. I am a total control freak and it took a lot of will for me to NOT ASK and to focus on getting through each moment, each contraction. It really helped to keep me in the present.
Also, I vocalized. A lot. Really loudly. This is something that I had tried to keep from doing with Dylan and I don’t know how I would have labored without making noise this time around. It really helped to send that energy out of my body on a wave of sound.
And I had a doula. I cannot stress how important having a doula was!!! Even with people I love surrounding me, the calming presence and wise words of the doula made an enormous difference.
- For additional motivation, here are some of the great things about post-partum recovery after a VBAC:
- After this birth, I was eating a huge breakfast of French toast and bacon within an hour. After my section, I was sipping broth within 24 hours.
- After this birth, I was up an on the toilet within a few hours. After my section, I got my catheter out after 24 hours.
- After this birth, the first post-partum poop was only mildly uncomfortable and SO much less awful than I’d feared. I don’t even want to talk about the first post-partum poop after my section.
- There is SUCH a huge difference between having a few stitches in two layers of skin (even if it is on the perineum) and having stitches through layers of skin, fat, tissue, muscle, and internal organs.
- My milk came in earlier and I got to go home earlier.
- Were it not for the blood loss I had post partum, I would be up and around at an almost normal activity level.
Between DH reminding me that he has to be at work the Monday after thanksgiving, wanting to actually be with my family for dinner next Thursday, wanting the dang baby out in general, and the lawyerisms from every nurse, tech and my mother (also a nurse) I'm about ready to give in. I'm not OK with being cut. It scares the hell out of me. The only risk factor I have is how long I've been pregnant, yet I'm getting treated like I'm over 40, diabetic, and hypertensive, with a classical incision. 
: I just want to go into labor already and get it over with, but I'm terrified that if I consent to an induction it's as good as signing up to get cut.
