This is really long as it includes events in the months leading up to her birth. I highlighted where the actual birth story starts.
I am really bad at writing my children's birth journeys. I never know where to start. In my mind they start when I get the urge to have another baby. What it was that made me desire another child, why we chose to add on to our family. Then there is the pregnancy. I'm not the only one going through the pregnancy. The baby is too. As is the rest of my family.
I know I had felt the need for another baby about a year before. I remember sitting in the living room of our farm house with my husband in the opposite recliner and my two children playing on the floor. I felt an emptiness…something was missing or rather someone. I told my husband and he didn't disagree. As time passed and my baby Levi became less of a baby and finally more like a toddler I started getting that yearning to snuggle a newborn, to feel the tug of an eager nursling upon my breast and to hear the song of baby squeaks and grunts.
I never denied that part of the desire was based on missing so much of Levi's infancy. His first six weeks were spent with him in pain and screaming almost the whole time. Of course, we didn't know he was in pain at the time but that doesn't ease the guilt any. We were really frustrated after awhile and we just didn't get to enjoy the snuggling and coos. They didn't exist. Just screams and tears. Both his and at least, mine. I know I didn't even feel the bond form until a year or more after his birth.
We've always used NFP (natural family planning). No chemicals or condoms. I learned how my body worked, when I ovulated, that type of stuff. It's worked for 8 years now.
We've only gotten pregnant when we want to be.
Last February we decided we would see what happened. I figured it would take awhile. I had Valentines Dinner with my mother in law, sister in law and best friend. We discussed having more babies. Cindy and I would be on 3 and SIL would be on 2. Cindy had been trying for a couple of years but it hadn't happened so far. My MIL was telling me I was too old. I was 30. ? Cindy was 36. Imagine my/our surprise when all 3 of us ended up pregnant and "due" the first couple of weeks of November! I was "due" November 10th, Cindy was the 9th and Steph the first week sometime. How exciting!!
It was a crazy time during this pregnancy. My husband and I had gotten it in our heads to move to Costa Rica. We knew if the baby was born in CR she'd be a citizen and a lot of red tape would be cleared. Sold our huge farmhouse and acreage. Moved back to town to our first house we'd bought years ago. Sold off most of our possessions keeping only necessities and important items.
I was so very eager to go to Costa Rica. After all I loved it there. When on vacation, it felt like home. Little did I know!! I knew it would be tough to be there without my husband but I thought with Livie I could do it. I did. For six weeks.
After searching and interviewing doctors and therapists I came to the realization I would not be able to find the proper care Levi needed. Plus reports from back home concerning his schooling and progress were absolutely glowing. DH and I both decided we would not…COULD not take him away from that. It would be irresponsible of us. We couldn't risk his future for our wants. So the next step was, would I stay and give birth or go back to the States? I pondered that and cried for days. After more research I concluded that it would be months before the paperwork would all be in order before I'd be allowed to travel back home to the states. Being away from husband and son was already more than I could bear combined with worry about the upcoming birth and my daughter's schooling and more importantly her emotional well being. She seemed to be adjusting well. She played with the neighbor kids most of the day, she ate and slept well. She sang along with her movies. She didn't verbally say anything about "going home". I could still tell that she was not adjusting as well as I hoped.
I did not want to disappoint my husband. I knew he was really wanting to at least have that baby born in Costa Rica. He really loved being in CR. But he wasn't there full time, alone, pregnant with a five year old. I also did not want the rest of the family to look down at us. I knew they would view it as a failure even though Jason and I knew from the beginning that it wouldn't necessarily work out. In fact, I think both of us knew it would not but knew we had to give it a try. To NOT try would be failure.
I was not gaining weight. I was about 35 or 36 weeks along (pregnancies average 40-41 weeks) and had only gained about 12 lbs. That wasn't good. I also knew I was becoming severely depressed. I was working hard at keeping us preoccupied with going to town and Livie had different activities but it wasn't enough. We needed our families. One morning I started frantically calling home to my husband. I was bawling. He wasn't answering. I was starting to panic. I had to get home. Airlines won't let you fly usually at a certain point in pregnancy and I was already at that point. I was just beside myself. I had to get home before Lucy was born. I just couldn't risk being here several more months away from my son and husband.
Finally, my husband answered his phone. I blurted out "I want to come home." He said, "Okay." Then told me he had been planning on surprising me on October 20th, his birthday, by coming down for the weekend. I told him we would fly home with him. Two days later I was checking my email and had a confirmation from the airline for flights out for Livie and I for the 14th!! He knew how scared I was that they wouldn't let me fly so he got us set up for even sooner.
I flew home at 37 weeks pregnant. Just a mere 3 weeks before my due date. I was also flying with a small dog and a five year old and tons of luggage. That's a whole 'nother story!
My sister in law had already had her baby boy, Garrett. He came at approximately 34/35 weeks. He weighed around five lbs. It was a bit scary in the beginning with his lungs not completely formed but he was sent home within a few days and is doing well.
We got home safely. We bought a house in another town. It is just a house away from my father in law and his wife, Mama Dee Dee. That is where my son had been staying all this time and was going to school in this town. We enrolled Livie in the same school right away in preparation for buying the house. We couldn't keep her out any longer. I had been homeschooling her in CR but she needed to be in school.
ACTUAL BIRTH STORY STARTS HERE:
November 4th, Cindy calls me late morning to tell me she had given birth that morning in her Jacuzzi outside. ? Griffin Liam was born in the 6 o'clock hour after several days of labor. He weighed 8 lbs 11 oz.
November 8th we bought the house.
November 10th I was feeling really darn crappy. I had been in a lot of pain for a couple of weeks. Lucy had been riding low forever and every movement she made caused me so much pain. I was also always short of breath and just over all not feeling well. I was so bored and my children were gone. My husband had driven to Ltown to do house stuff. I decided I was going to go walk around Kmart. We have no malls and it was too cold to do much outdoors. I stopped at an antique store I had never been in. My husband called and said he was going to Peoria (big city near by). I told him I wanted to go. After all I was walking a home improvement store when I went into labor with Levi maybe it would work this time too! We ended up at an auction then my mother's.
My mother almost the whole pregnancy had really never mentioned the baby to come. Never showed any interest so I was pretty convinced she didn't care. I get to her house and my step father said that Lucy was all she could talk about. I asked his opinion on whether I should call her when I was in labor and have her come over or wait. He recommended calling her early. That lifted my spirits. She was very kind to me that day and I really needed that. I was feeling so down and with my hubby all wrapped up in house stuff was feeling a little neglected.
Went home. Slept really awful Saturday night. Sunday, the 11th, woke up still feeling really crappy. We went to Peoria to look at flooring options. I warned my husband that I would be absolutely worthless at decision making and probably pretty bitchy. To just humor me and not take it personal. I just was not feeling well but I didn't want to be home or alone. I wanted to be out walking around to try encourage labor and to keep busy.
After we looked at flooring I asked if we could do what I wanted to do. He said "Yup!" We headed over to Target where we ooh'ed and aah'ed over adorable pink baby booties and items. I love watching my 6 ft 200 lb man getting all weepy over baby stuff. He insisted on buying some itty bitty pink socks. We picked up a couple of other items and came back home.
He had to work 3rd shift. After he left I decided to go for a walk. I couldn't sleep and nothing on tv and sitting hurt anyway. That was one of the things bothering me so much. I couldn't sit and knit or play on the computer or even watch a movie. Sitting was unbearable and laying down pretty much was too. Walking is all I wanted to do.
I bundled up but thank God it wasn't too bad out. Freaky (the cat) and I walked around a few blocks and came back home. By this time the Braxton hicks I had having for weeks seemed to be stronger and taking my breath away even more so than usual. By 1 am I was pretty certain labor was in my near future. But wait!! It was my daughter's 6th birthday now!! My daughter, my first beloved child, had been been 6 years ago on the 12th! What were the odds this 3rd beloved child would be born on her birthday? Also, considering Cindy's first two were born on the same birthday 8 years apart that would make the odds even harder to beat for both of us to get pregnant at the same time then have children with shared birthdays.
I went to sleep, sort of, expecting to either NOT be in true labor or to have a very long labor lasting until the next day because just surely Lucy would not be born on Livie's birthday. About 4 I gave up on sleep and called my husband at work. He was suppose to work onto first shift. I told him he might want to come home after 3rd.
At 6:15 am I called my midwife but couldn't get hold of her. I called a doula friend of mine, Penny, to let her know in case she wanted to come over for the birth. I hadn't really made arrangements for a doula has my husband was pretty seasoned at this point and I knew the midwife and her assistant would help me stay focused and comfortable. Plus my sisterfriend Trinity would be there as would Mama Dee Dee and my mom to help with the children. It was really important to me to have my children with me. I knew Olivia would never forgive me if she wasn't witness to the birth. The last few days I had decided I needed Levi there too.
Finally got a hold of the midwife 6:30-7 am and told her my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and had been since 1 am but they weren't strong and were only lasting 40 seconds or so. I laid down for about an hour from 8-9 or so. My husband moved the birthing pool to the living room for me. It had been in the bedroom but I decided it was too crowded. He even had filled it halfway which actually turned out to be a good thing. It stayed nice and hot for hours! He set up candles and even lit them. My husband was ready!! Too bad Lucy wasn't. When I woke up from my nap I blew out the candles and put the bottled water back in the fridge.
As the hours passed the cx really didn't change much. In fact, if I sat or laid down they would space way out to 6-8 minutes. I couldn't keep pacing around as I was getting exhausted having very little sleep in the last few days. Around noon I decided to lay down. After 20 minutes or so I gave up. Even though spaced out the cx had gotten stronger and laying down was no longer an option. Around 2:30 I called the midwife and told her that they kept spacing out but they were still strong. At the beginning of the conversation she had asked if I wanted her to come on down as she was 2 hours away. By the end of the conversation and 2 or 3 cx later she was ready to hang up on me during a cx and head out the door! No question in her mind the baby was coming and soon!
I called Penny and begged her to come over as I feared the baby would be here before the MW! I decided to get in the pool hoping it would slow the cx down to give the MW travel time. It worked. For about 20 minutes. Then they were just as good and strong as before! Trinity arrived and timed contractions and kept me distracted. She would help me stay relaxed when Jason was busy doing other things. I had called Mama DD and told her she might want to get here if she didn't want to miss the birth. She arrived about 4 with the kids and my mother showed up soon after. Penny arrived between 4 and 4:30. I was singing pretty good during the cx and the children would stop and come to me then return to fighting when the cx was over. I had been preparing Livie for months that I would get noisy and such but Levi had no prepping. All in all they handled it really well. Levi understood that "Wootie" was coming out! "Wootie out?" She's trying we'd tell him! "Mommy ouch?" Yes but she's working hard and she's ok.
The midwife arrived about 5:15. I was really close. In fact, Penny had been going through the birth supplies to see what we needed (and probably praying we had it). So J (the mw) and her assistant L got set up and settled in.
At this point my husband was a fixture on his knees at the pool's side. With each cx I would lean on the edge of the pool with my head on his shoulder my hands grabbing his arms or holding his hands. He would talk to me in a voice just overflowing with emotion. I love his voice when it sounds like that. Unfortunately it only sounds that way when I'm giving birth. ? He would whisper the hypnobabies cues to me and I would immediately sink down a bit and relax a little. He said he also noticed that I would be more relaxed with the next cx after he said a cue.
I hadn't planned for hypnobabies to work the way it's intended because I had already given birth 2x before and witnessed a few more and I knew there was no convincing my mind that I would have a painless birth. I wanted it to help me relax and stay focused and it most definitely did. I wanted to be more aware of the baby's passage through the birth canal. And I was!
Wasn't long after J and L arrived that my cx started spacing out indicating transition. Transition comes after the cx have dilated the cervix completely and then the body starts pushing the baby down and out. Transition is the body's way of giving mom and baby a rest. I had been nauseated earlier in the labor before the mw had arrived and had worried that was transition but obviously it wasn't.
I was just getting ready to say "I'm going to be pushing" when the undeniable, uncontrollable urge to bear down hit. I have a real mind block with the pushing stage. I feared it and knew I had to deal with that. So I focused on what Lucy was doing. I had read birth stories about feeling the cervix dilating, feeling the baby move down and turning. I was befuddled because I had definitely not felt that with Livie's birth and had been too out of mind with Levi's. I had already been aware of my cervix stretching. This time I did feel Lucy moving down lower and even knew her head was turning and KNEW that's what was happening. I kept putting my hand down to feel the bulge of her head during the cx. I said at one point that the burning was starting. During one contraction I was cupping her head in my hand and playing with her hair. Feeling the squishy "gross" stuff over her head (probably the vernix) at the same time feeling her hair. I was so sure that her head would be out with that cx. Just as soon as I thought that the cx ended and I felt with my body and hand her head suck back up inside me. That is a heartbreaking feeling!! But I also knew she'd be out very quickly.
Another cx hit and I pushed and howled for all that I had. I felt the release of pressure when her head slid out. It was such a relief emotionally and physically. I announced to the room that her head was out. I knew we were almost done and the hardest part was over. I don't recall touching her head then but I think I must have. I know one time my husband tried to keep me from putting my hand down under, I don't know why he did that, but I just kind of yanked away and did it anyway. He probably had no idea what I was doing lol. Maybe pushing her back up?
Another wave hit and she was born! The shoulders are bigger and harder to push out but having just pushed her head out it doesn't take as many tries to get the shoulders through. I relaxed against my husband in relief and joy and I hear "She's in front of you!"
I had assumed she would come out behind as my son had and that they were picking her up out of the water for me. So I quickly sat back and reached down. I don't think I even looked I just reached down and pulled her to me. Luckily I pulled her to me in an upright position and not feet up!
She was covered in vernix. It was everywhere! I lifted my shirt because I wanted to nurse her immediately but the vernix caked my nipple immediately and I couldn't get it wiped off! In fact, when I handed her to daddy my inner arm from crook of elbow to finger tips was covered in vernix.
She was very quiet and just looked around. When her daddy leaned in to see her face she even turned her eyes towards the movement. I looked at her nose and mouth to make sure they were clear then leaned her forward a little bit to rub her back and stimulate her. She gave a little cry so I was content! I tried to turn her to the other breast but the cord was too short.
I needed to birth the placenta but with the cord being short I was concerned I would drown her while concentrating on that. When the mw said the cord had stopped pulsating I requested she go ahead and cut it so I could hand her over to daddy and birth the placenta. She put the clamps on and asked if anyone wanted to cut it. Jason refused. He has never cut the cord and never will. It's a thing with us. I had remarked in my first pregnancy that the cutting of the cord was the first real separation between mother and child and he never wants to be the one to cause that. I have no idea who cut Livie's cord, my mother cut Levi's and Trinity got to cut Lucy's. ?
I couldn't push the placenta out. I just couldn't get my body to push hard. I finally decided to get out and see if gravity helped. I had to have help on both sides as I was really light headed and had been in a squatting position for hours so my legs were cramped.
I stepped out onto a chux pad. My son was a few feet away facing me. As I stepped out the placenta fell out between my feet on the pad. OHHH the look on Levi's face was priceless! He was totally grossed out and couldn't believe that mom just "did that" in the middle of the living room floor!!
Both children were very interested in the placenta and watched as the midwife explained to Trinity (who is going to be a mw) how to examine it.
Lucy was born with a head full of dark hair just like her now blonde siblings; she was 21 inches long and 8 lbs 10 oz. She was born at 6:11 pm. Or maybe it was 6:12 lol. She is 6 years and 3 hours younger than Olivia.
Olivia told me she was the best birthday present ever. I agree.
She is now 4 days old. She is very content and mellow. She's a breastfeeding champ. She rarely cries but that could be because daddy rarely lets go of her.
Giving birth to Livie was everything I didn't want. Giving birth to Levi was an amazing experience but still lacking in the mental department as I was too unfocused and relied too much on others to get me through that final stage of labor. However, with Levi I was ready to go again!!
Lucy's birth was simply the most amazing. Maybe because it's the latest one and possibly the last one.
I do know that I have never caught my baby, I have never been the first to touch my baby. The emotion and memory of feeling her leave my body and then pulling her newborn body to my chest and being the first to see her and kiss her is something I will never forget. Knowing what was going on, recognizing what was going on and consciously making decisions to help her into this cold world is something every woman should experience.
I know it probably seemed to the bystanders that all I did was howl and carry on but that was on the outside. On the inside I was completely aware of every movement and moment of Lucy's final minutes in my body and her first moments out. I was very vocal during Lucy's birth. Probably even more so with hers than with Levi's but that's just something I do and something out of my control. I remember saying several times I didn't want to do this, didn't want to go through this and at the same time as vocalizing those thoughts I was internally giving myself permission to say that because I knew it meant I was close to giving birth. So by saying that I was bringing myself closer to being done.
So there you have it!
pregnancy 40.2 weeks
labor 14.5 hours
pushing for only 11 minutes woohoo
I am really bad at writing my children's birth journeys. I never know where to start. In my mind they start when I get the urge to have another baby. What it was that made me desire another child, why we chose to add on to our family. Then there is the pregnancy. I'm not the only one going through the pregnancy. The baby is too. As is the rest of my family.
I know I had felt the need for another baby about a year before. I remember sitting in the living room of our farm house with my husband in the opposite recliner and my two children playing on the floor. I felt an emptiness…something was missing or rather someone. I told my husband and he didn't disagree. As time passed and my baby Levi became less of a baby and finally more like a toddler I started getting that yearning to snuggle a newborn, to feel the tug of an eager nursling upon my breast and to hear the song of baby squeaks and grunts.
I never denied that part of the desire was based on missing so much of Levi's infancy. His first six weeks were spent with him in pain and screaming almost the whole time. Of course, we didn't know he was in pain at the time but that doesn't ease the guilt any. We were really frustrated after awhile and we just didn't get to enjoy the snuggling and coos. They didn't exist. Just screams and tears. Both his and at least, mine. I know I didn't even feel the bond form until a year or more after his birth.
We've always used NFP (natural family planning). No chemicals or condoms. I learned how my body worked, when I ovulated, that type of stuff. It's worked for 8 years now.
We've only gotten pregnant when we want to be.
Last February we decided we would see what happened. I figured it would take awhile. I had Valentines Dinner with my mother in law, sister in law and best friend. We discussed having more babies. Cindy and I would be on 3 and SIL would be on 2. Cindy had been trying for a couple of years but it hadn't happened so far. My MIL was telling me I was too old. I was 30. ? Cindy was 36. Imagine my/our surprise when all 3 of us ended up pregnant and "due" the first couple of weeks of November! I was "due" November 10th, Cindy was the 9th and Steph the first week sometime. How exciting!!
It was a crazy time during this pregnancy. My husband and I had gotten it in our heads to move to Costa Rica. We knew if the baby was born in CR she'd be a citizen and a lot of red tape would be cleared. Sold our huge farmhouse and acreage. Moved back to town to our first house we'd bought years ago. Sold off most of our possessions keeping only necessities and important items.
I was so very eager to go to Costa Rica. After all I loved it there. When on vacation, it felt like home. Little did I know!! I knew it would be tough to be there without my husband but I thought with Livie I could do it. I did. For six weeks.
After searching and interviewing doctors and therapists I came to the realization I would not be able to find the proper care Levi needed. Plus reports from back home concerning his schooling and progress were absolutely glowing. DH and I both decided we would not…COULD not take him away from that. It would be irresponsible of us. We couldn't risk his future for our wants. So the next step was, would I stay and give birth or go back to the States? I pondered that and cried for days. After more research I concluded that it would be months before the paperwork would all be in order before I'd be allowed to travel back home to the states. Being away from husband and son was already more than I could bear combined with worry about the upcoming birth and my daughter's schooling and more importantly her emotional well being. She seemed to be adjusting well. She played with the neighbor kids most of the day, she ate and slept well. She sang along with her movies. She didn't verbally say anything about "going home". I could still tell that she was not adjusting as well as I hoped.
I did not want to disappoint my husband. I knew he was really wanting to at least have that baby born in Costa Rica. He really loved being in CR. But he wasn't there full time, alone, pregnant with a five year old. I also did not want the rest of the family to look down at us. I knew they would view it as a failure even though Jason and I knew from the beginning that it wouldn't necessarily work out. In fact, I think both of us knew it would not but knew we had to give it a try. To NOT try would be failure.
I was not gaining weight. I was about 35 or 36 weeks along (pregnancies average 40-41 weeks) and had only gained about 12 lbs. That wasn't good. I also knew I was becoming severely depressed. I was working hard at keeping us preoccupied with going to town and Livie had different activities but it wasn't enough. We needed our families. One morning I started frantically calling home to my husband. I was bawling. He wasn't answering. I was starting to panic. I had to get home. Airlines won't let you fly usually at a certain point in pregnancy and I was already at that point. I was just beside myself. I had to get home before Lucy was born. I just couldn't risk being here several more months away from my son and husband.
Finally, my husband answered his phone. I blurted out "I want to come home." He said, "Okay." Then told me he had been planning on surprising me on October 20th, his birthday, by coming down for the weekend. I told him we would fly home with him. Two days later I was checking my email and had a confirmation from the airline for flights out for Livie and I for the 14th!! He knew how scared I was that they wouldn't let me fly so he got us set up for even sooner.
I flew home at 37 weeks pregnant. Just a mere 3 weeks before my due date. I was also flying with a small dog and a five year old and tons of luggage. That's a whole 'nother story!
My sister in law had already had her baby boy, Garrett. He came at approximately 34/35 weeks. He weighed around five lbs. It was a bit scary in the beginning with his lungs not completely formed but he was sent home within a few days and is doing well.
We got home safely. We bought a house in another town. It is just a house away from my father in law and his wife, Mama Dee Dee. That is where my son had been staying all this time and was going to school in this town. We enrolled Livie in the same school right away in preparation for buying the house. We couldn't keep her out any longer. I had been homeschooling her in CR but she needed to be in school.
ACTUAL BIRTH STORY STARTS HERE:
November 4th, Cindy calls me late morning to tell me she had given birth that morning in her Jacuzzi outside. ? Griffin Liam was born in the 6 o'clock hour after several days of labor. He weighed 8 lbs 11 oz.
November 8th we bought the house.
November 10th I was feeling really darn crappy. I had been in a lot of pain for a couple of weeks. Lucy had been riding low forever and every movement she made caused me so much pain. I was also always short of breath and just over all not feeling well. I was so bored and my children were gone. My husband had driven to Ltown to do house stuff. I decided I was going to go walk around Kmart. We have no malls and it was too cold to do much outdoors. I stopped at an antique store I had never been in. My husband called and said he was going to Peoria (big city near by). I told him I wanted to go. After all I was walking a home improvement store when I went into labor with Levi maybe it would work this time too! We ended up at an auction then my mother's.
My mother almost the whole pregnancy had really never mentioned the baby to come. Never showed any interest so I was pretty convinced she didn't care. I get to her house and my step father said that Lucy was all she could talk about. I asked his opinion on whether I should call her when I was in labor and have her come over or wait. He recommended calling her early. That lifted my spirits. She was very kind to me that day and I really needed that. I was feeling so down and with my hubby all wrapped up in house stuff was feeling a little neglected.
Went home. Slept really awful Saturday night. Sunday, the 11th, woke up still feeling really crappy. We went to Peoria to look at flooring options. I warned my husband that I would be absolutely worthless at decision making and probably pretty bitchy. To just humor me and not take it personal. I just was not feeling well but I didn't want to be home or alone. I wanted to be out walking around to try encourage labor and to keep busy.
After we looked at flooring I asked if we could do what I wanted to do. He said "Yup!" We headed over to Target where we ooh'ed and aah'ed over adorable pink baby booties and items. I love watching my 6 ft 200 lb man getting all weepy over baby stuff. He insisted on buying some itty bitty pink socks. We picked up a couple of other items and came back home.
He had to work 3rd shift. After he left I decided to go for a walk. I couldn't sleep and nothing on tv and sitting hurt anyway. That was one of the things bothering me so much. I couldn't sit and knit or play on the computer or even watch a movie. Sitting was unbearable and laying down pretty much was too. Walking is all I wanted to do.
I bundled up but thank God it wasn't too bad out. Freaky (the cat) and I walked around a few blocks and came back home. By this time the Braxton hicks I had having for weeks seemed to be stronger and taking my breath away even more so than usual. By 1 am I was pretty certain labor was in my near future. But wait!! It was my daughter's 6th birthday now!! My daughter, my first beloved child, had been been 6 years ago on the 12th! What were the odds this 3rd beloved child would be born on her birthday? Also, considering Cindy's first two were born on the same birthday 8 years apart that would make the odds even harder to beat for both of us to get pregnant at the same time then have children with shared birthdays.
I went to sleep, sort of, expecting to either NOT be in true labor or to have a very long labor lasting until the next day because just surely Lucy would not be born on Livie's birthday. About 4 I gave up on sleep and called my husband at work. He was suppose to work onto first shift. I told him he might want to come home after 3rd.
At 6:15 am I called my midwife but couldn't get hold of her. I called a doula friend of mine, Penny, to let her know in case she wanted to come over for the birth. I hadn't really made arrangements for a doula has my husband was pretty seasoned at this point and I knew the midwife and her assistant would help me stay focused and comfortable. Plus my sisterfriend Trinity would be there as would Mama Dee Dee and my mom to help with the children. It was really important to me to have my children with me. I knew Olivia would never forgive me if she wasn't witness to the birth. The last few days I had decided I needed Levi there too.
Finally got a hold of the midwife 6:30-7 am and told her my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and had been since 1 am but they weren't strong and were only lasting 40 seconds or so. I laid down for about an hour from 8-9 or so. My husband moved the birthing pool to the living room for me. It had been in the bedroom but I decided it was too crowded. He even had filled it halfway which actually turned out to be a good thing. It stayed nice and hot for hours! He set up candles and even lit them. My husband was ready!! Too bad Lucy wasn't. When I woke up from my nap I blew out the candles and put the bottled water back in the fridge.
As the hours passed the cx really didn't change much. In fact, if I sat or laid down they would space way out to 6-8 minutes. I couldn't keep pacing around as I was getting exhausted having very little sleep in the last few days. Around noon I decided to lay down. After 20 minutes or so I gave up. Even though spaced out the cx had gotten stronger and laying down was no longer an option. Around 2:30 I called the midwife and told her that they kept spacing out but they were still strong. At the beginning of the conversation she had asked if I wanted her to come on down as she was 2 hours away. By the end of the conversation and 2 or 3 cx later she was ready to hang up on me during a cx and head out the door! No question in her mind the baby was coming and soon!
I called Penny and begged her to come over as I feared the baby would be here before the MW! I decided to get in the pool hoping it would slow the cx down to give the MW travel time. It worked. For about 20 minutes. Then they were just as good and strong as before! Trinity arrived and timed contractions and kept me distracted. She would help me stay relaxed when Jason was busy doing other things. I had called Mama DD and told her she might want to get here if she didn't want to miss the birth. She arrived about 4 with the kids and my mother showed up soon after. Penny arrived between 4 and 4:30. I was singing pretty good during the cx and the children would stop and come to me then return to fighting when the cx was over. I had been preparing Livie for months that I would get noisy and such but Levi had no prepping. All in all they handled it really well. Levi understood that "Wootie" was coming out! "Wootie out?" She's trying we'd tell him! "Mommy ouch?" Yes but she's working hard and she's ok.
The midwife arrived about 5:15. I was really close. In fact, Penny had been going through the birth supplies to see what we needed (and probably praying we had it). So J (the mw) and her assistant L got set up and settled in.
At this point my husband was a fixture on his knees at the pool's side. With each cx I would lean on the edge of the pool with my head on his shoulder my hands grabbing his arms or holding his hands. He would talk to me in a voice just overflowing with emotion. I love his voice when it sounds like that. Unfortunately it only sounds that way when I'm giving birth. ? He would whisper the hypnobabies cues to me and I would immediately sink down a bit and relax a little. He said he also noticed that I would be more relaxed with the next cx after he said a cue.
I hadn't planned for hypnobabies to work the way it's intended because I had already given birth 2x before and witnessed a few more and I knew there was no convincing my mind that I would have a painless birth. I wanted it to help me relax and stay focused and it most definitely did. I wanted to be more aware of the baby's passage through the birth canal. And I was!
Wasn't long after J and L arrived that my cx started spacing out indicating transition. Transition comes after the cx have dilated the cervix completely and then the body starts pushing the baby down and out. Transition is the body's way of giving mom and baby a rest. I had been nauseated earlier in the labor before the mw had arrived and had worried that was transition but obviously it wasn't.
I was just getting ready to say "I'm going to be pushing" when the undeniable, uncontrollable urge to bear down hit. I have a real mind block with the pushing stage. I feared it and knew I had to deal with that. So I focused on what Lucy was doing. I had read birth stories about feeling the cervix dilating, feeling the baby move down and turning. I was befuddled because I had definitely not felt that with Livie's birth and had been too out of mind with Levi's. I had already been aware of my cervix stretching. This time I did feel Lucy moving down lower and even knew her head was turning and KNEW that's what was happening. I kept putting my hand down to feel the bulge of her head during the cx. I said at one point that the burning was starting. During one contraction I was cupping her head in my hand and playing with her hair. Feeling the squishy "gross" stuff over her head (probably the vernix) at the same time feeling her hair. I was so sure that her head would be out with that cx. Just as soon as I thought that the cx ended and I felt with my body and hand her head suck back up inside me. That is a heartbreaking feeling!! But I also knew she'd be out very quickly.
Another cx hit and I pushed and howled for all that I had. I felt the release of pressure when her head slid out. It was such a relief emotionally and physically. I announced to the room that her head was out. I knew we were almost done and the hardest part was over. I don't recall touching her head then but I think I must have. I know one time my husband tried to keep me from putting my hand down under, I don't know why he did that, but I just kind of yanked away and did it anyway. He probably had no idea what I was doing lol. Maybe pushing her back up?
Another wave hit and she was born! The shoulders are bigger and harder to push out but having just pushed her head out it doesn't take as many tries to get the shoulders through. I relaxed against my husband in relief and joy and I hear "She's in front of you!"
I had assumed she would come out behind as my son had and that they were picking her up out of the water for me. So I quickly sat back and reached down. I don't think I even looked I just reached down and pulled her to me. Luckily I pulled her to me in an upright position and not feet up!
She was covered in vernix. It was everywhere! I lifted my shirt because I wanted to nurse her immediately but the vernix caked my nipple immediately and I couldn't get it wiped off! In fact, when I handed her to daddy my inner arm from crook of elbow to finger tips was covered in vernix.
She was very quiet and just looked around. When her daddy leaned in to see her face she even turned her eyes towards the movement. I looked at her nose and mouth to make sure they were clear then leaned her forward a little bit to rub her back and stimulate her. She gave a little cry so I was content! I tried to turn her to the other breast but the cord was too short.
I needed to birth the placenta but with the cord being short I was concerned I would drown her while concentrating on that. When the mw said the cord had stopped pulsating I requested she go ahead and cut it so I could hand her over to daddy and birth the placenta. She put the clamps on and asked if anyone wanted to cut it. Jason refused. He has never cut the cord and never will. It's a thing with us. I had remarked in my first pregnancy that the cutting of the cord was the first real separation between mother and child and he never wants to be the one to cause that. I have no idea who cut Livie's cord, my mother cut Levi's and Trinity got to cut Lucy's. ?
I couldn't push the placenta out. I just couldn't get my body to push hard. I finally decided to get out and see if gravity helped. I had to have help on both sides as I was really light headed and had been in a squatting position for hours so my legs were cramped.
I stepped out onto a chux pad. My son was a few feet away facing me. As I stepped out the placenta fell out between my feet on the pad. OHHH the look on Levi's face was priceless! He was totally grossed out and couldn't believe that mom just "did that" in the middle of the living room floor!!
Both children were very interested in the placenta and watched as the midwife explained to Trinity (who is going to be a mw) how to examine it.
Lucy was born with a head full of dark hair just like her now blonde siblings; she was 21 inches long and 8 lbs 10 oz. She was born at 6:11 pm. Or maybe it was 6:12 lol. She is 6 years and 3 hours younger than Olivia.
Olivia told me she was the best birthday present ever. I agree.
She is now 4 days old. She is very content and mellow. She's a breastfeeding champ. She rarely cries but that could be because daddy rarely lets go of her.
Giving birth to Livie was everything I didn't want. Giving birth to Levi was an amazing experience but still lacking in the mental department as I was too unfocused and relied too much on others to get me through that final stage of labor. However, with Levi I was ready to go again!!
Lucy's birth was simply the most amazing. Maybe because it's the latest one and possibly the last one.
I do know that I have never caught my baby, I have never been the first to touch my baby. The emotion and memory of feeling her leave my body and then pulling her newborn body to my chest and being the first to see her and kiss her is something I will never forget. Knowing what was going on, recognizing what was going on and consciously making decisions to help her into this cold world is something every woman should experience.
I know it probably seemed to the bystanders that all I did was howl and carry on but that was on the outside. On the inside I was completely aware of every movement and moment of Lucy's final minutes in my body and her first moments out. I was very vocal during Lucy's birth. Probably even more so with hers than with Levi's but that's just something I do and something out of my control. I remember saying several times I didn't want to do this, didn't want to go through this and at the same time as vocalizing those thoughts I was internally giving myself permission to say that because I knew it meant I was close to giving birth. So by saying that I was bringing myself closer to being done.
So there you have it!
pregnancy 40.2 weeks
labor 14.5 hours
pushing for only 11 minutes woohoo
