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Seeing a child get spanked in public - Page 2

post #21 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
Hitting a child is definitely an abusive act.

When I have seen it, I have said something to the parent, every time. It's not okay, and we need to not pretend it is.
Yes, but please don't burden the already overtaxed family court system with someone who smacks their child's hand. I agree that calling the police for that is over the top.
post #22 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by natensarah View Post
Yes, but please don't burden the already overtaxed family court system with someone who smacks their child's hand. I agree that calling the police for that is over the top.
The family court system has nothing to do with spanking. It addressed custody and divorce issues.

I have never called the police myself when someone hits a child, but really why is that such an overreaction? We would call the police for assault on an adult, why is assault on a child so much less important?
post #23 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
The family court system has nothing to do with spanking. It addressed custody and divorce issues.

I have never called the police myself when someone hits a child, but really why is that such an overreaction? We would call the police for assault on an adult, why is assault on a child so much less important?
If I was in a situation where I spanked my childs hand I would hate for cps to come to my door and take my happy healthy children away from their home. Now I agree that spanking isnt right and I myself anm trying to stop spanking my child, but when you see these parents in public, you dont know them or their lifestyles and unless they are truly HARMING their child you should not just report them. A spank on the hand does not constitute as assault. Do you know how many times I have been cooking and my husband comes and tries to sneek a piece of food and I smacked his hand away???? what about when my husband smacks my butt?? Is that assault too???: if that is assault we should have been arrested a long time ago! I agree spanking isnt right but please dont use the assault line. Like I said before if she would have actually hurt the baby then yeah, please report it but a smack on the hand does not call for all that!
post #24 of 183
CPS does not automatically remove children, particularly not over a slap on the hand.
post #25 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by angieluvsramon View Post
: I feel the same way....some people are so quick to call the cops. It is not like she smacked her in the face, she tapped the baby's hand! Calling the cops in this situation is just a little extreme! I rarely come on this forum for the same reason!
me too...
post #26 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
CPS does not automatically remove children, particularly not over a slap on the hand.
so what is the point of calling the police over this?
post #27 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by angieluvsramon View Post
so what is the point of calling the police over this?
I did not say I would call the police, that was somebody else. I just said I think it's really interesting that we don't consider child assault worthy of a police call. I think about all the time cops and firetrucks spend rushing to false burglar alarms sounding on business, and I think our chidren's safety should be prioritized a little better.

CPS also does other interventions besides child removal, such as parenting classes etc.
post #28 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by angieluvsramon View Post
so what is the point of calling the police over this?
to cause the family extreme stress over having cps in their lives........ i think its rediculious. I wouldnt call the cops or cps over a slap on the hand, and i would expect that noone called cps on me because of my nfl/ap parenting practices that some belive are not good for children.
post #29 of 183
everybody has their own parenting styles and nobody should be bashed or flamed over the way they parent. Nobody is perfect and we did not come with a parenting handbook. I am not saying it is ok and im not saying it is wrong, I am saying instead of trying to control the way people are with their children, give them resources and help them learn and see your point of view.
It might take some of us a while but Im sure those of us who have our head on straight will do what we think and hope is in the best interest of our child.
post #30 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
I did not say I would call the police, that was somebody else. I just said I think it's really interesting that we don't consider child assault worthy of a police call. I think about all the time cops and firetrucks spend rushing to false burglar alarms sounding on business, and I think our chidren's safety should be prioritized a little better.

CPS also does other interventions besides child removal, such as parenting classes etc.
I agree with this however what do you consider assaulting a child????? Children's safety should be prioritized but not when the case is as little as a slap on the hand. A slap in the face, yeah repeatedly spanking the child yeah, I thing worst case here is that the poor baby had hurt feelings not a black eye or broken hand.
post #31 of 183
i don't know the answer to this either. when i witness corporal punishment, I just feel sick. I feel terrible for the child. The other issue for me is if my daughter is with me, I just hate for her to be exposed to such violence especially since it is a form of violence that isn't recognized as violence by most people, so most people are just standing there not reacting at all to what is happening as if it is perfectly fine for the parent to spank the child.
post #32 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by wonderwahine View Post
to cause the family extreme stress over having cps in their lives........ i think its rediculious. I wouldnt call the cops or cps over a slap on the hand, and i would expect that noone called cps on me because of my nfl/ap parenting practices that some belive are not good for children.


I can't say "yeah that" strongly enough. MDC is so "cps paranoid" I can't believe someone would advocate calling the cops for a hand slap. What about those who get turned in for not vaccinating, or for unasssited childbirth. There are people out there who view this as abuse. There are posters on here who are paranoid about this stuff all the time. why advocate for a cps visit that can hurt a family? A slap on the hand DOES NOT a bad parent make.
post #33 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by angieluvsramon View Post
I agree with this however what do you consider assaulting a child????? Children's safety should be prioritized but not when the case is as little as a slap on the hand. A slap in the face, yeah repeatedly spanking the child yeah, I thing worst case here is that the poor baby had hurt feelings not a black eye or broken hand.
If somebody slapped me, including on my hand, that is assaultive behaviour. You are quite right that it is worse to give somebody a black eye, but that doesn't mean slapping someone's hand is okay. I think it's interesting that our judgment of what constitutes harm is looser for children, and babies, than it is for adults. I think as regards physical assault, the standard should be exactly the same. Everyone has the right to dignity, bodily integrity, and freedom from intentional infliction of pain.
post #34 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkinyum View Post
I can't say "yeah that" strongly enough. MDC is so "cps paranoid" I can't believe someone would advocate calling the cops for a hand slap. What about those who get turned in for not vaccinating, or for unasssited childbirth. There are people out there who view this as abuse. There are posters on here who are paranoid about this stuff all the time. why advocate for a cps visit that can hurt a family? A slap on the hand DOES NOT a bad parent make.
lemme tell you all something about cps... I was taken away when I was 12 for being molested and put in a group home whaer I was RAPED by one staff member and later ASSAULTED by another. I had bruises up and down my arms. cps is no joke!!! I have only reported 2 people to cps and it was because I suspected something was going on and being a teacher in a school I had to do it. I was right in both cases but it was the hardest thing I have ever done, and to see so many of these parents so willing to call cps so quick really scares me. You really have to get a good feel for a situation before you take the drastic steps of calling cps, because cps is alot of the time no better! When I was in the group home I met soo many people that did not belong there and it was because sombody called cps for something as little as a slap on the hand or a spank on the rear end. "assault" is what happened to me in the group home "assault" is not me spanking my child "assault" would be me beating my child.
post #35 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
If somebody slapped me, including on my hand, that is assaultive behaviour. You are quite right that it is worse to give somebody a black eye, but that doesn't mean slapping someone's hand is okay. I think it's interesting that our judgment of what constitutes harm is looser for children, and babies, than it is for adults. I think as regards physical assault, the standard should be exactly the same. Everyone has the right to dignity, bodily integrity, and freedom from intentional infliction of pain.
So if your husband smacked your hand out of the cheese bowl you would call the cops??????? Or what about if he "tapped" your butt??? Im just trying to understand the assault part. I want to stress I dont think spanking is right...I just dont consider it as extreme as assault. I am making progress in not spanking my son, but not because I think it is assault, but because I see it hurts his feelings and I dont like to see that shocked look in his face. It makes me feel bad! and if it makes me feel bad I KNOW it makes him feel worse! I just think unless a child is being abused they should not have cps brought into their lives! WHat if it is not done to inflict pain but to get their attention. I never spanked my son hard enough to cause pain. I did it to get his attention. I do realize now that there are better ways to do this, but like I said in my earlier post sometimes it takes us a while before we learn how to parent our children the way we know best.
post #36 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain crunchy View Post
No, you choose not to do anything unless it is an all out beating.
no, i wouldnt call the cops, youre right, and my comment about having a migraine was i was in line all the way around the store the other day and by the time i got outside i couldnt see straight and just sat and tried to doze a few minutes (oh great, i could get locked up for that, too! sleeping in my truck!)
he wouldnt stop screaming sounding like i was trying to kill him!
and trying to wrestle me to get out of the cart...which led to more screaming.

and LEGALLY, there isnt anything to do over one smack in america unless you have court papers saying no punitive punishment. yeah, call the cops. okay, random people cant file assault charges for a child who is not their own. what does thqat do? nothing. maybe turn it over to cps. okay well, what does that do? nothing, or have the kid taken into a system where itrs ridiculously over taxed already. yeah THATS definitely whats better for a kid than getting a smack on the hand...and no im totalyl not saying a kid should be beat or whatever, but there are far worse things going on towards children than this
post #37 of 183
I wouldn't call the cops if I saw a parent spanking a child or smacking their hand. The reality is that even though some of us may consider that to be abusive, most parents who spank/smack aren't otherwise abusive. I grew up in a spanking home, but I was never abused and always very loved. My parents had their shortcomings like any, but they were wonderful people who cared so much for us. Also, spanking is legal in the US, although it is frowned upon by most child welfare advocates. I would rather a child stay with loving parents who spank than remove them and give them to strangers to raise.
post #38 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpie545 View Post
I wouldn't call the cops if I saw a parent spanking a child or smacking their hand. The reality is that even though some of us may consider that to be abusive, most parents who spank/smack aren't otherwise abusive. I grew up in a spanking home, but I was never abused and always very loved. My parents had their shortcomings like any, but they were wonderful people who cared so much for us. Also, spanking is legal in the US, although it is frowned upon by most child welfare advocates. I would rather a child stay with loving parents who spank than remove them and give them to strangers to raise.
I agree
post #39 of 183
i don't AGREE with hand smacking, but i think if you called cops they would laugh at the report. it's not right, you know, but even the public schools in my area have corporal punishment unless you request otherwise.
post #40 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by funkygranolamama View Post
i don't AGREE with hand smacking, but i think if you called cops they would laugh at the report. it's not right, you know, but even the public schools in my area have corporal punishment unless you request otherwise.
Wow the schools??? I dont agree with that!!!! Where do you live?
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