Help!! Freaked out by something my 5yo said...

[boysmom2]

So, last night at dinner my sweet little kindergartener asked me what it means to be grounded. He said he heard a kid at school talking about it. I explained that it’s something that some parents do when a (usually older) child has done something they really shouldn’t. I used the example of a teenager who comes home too late, and so is not allowed to use the family car for X # of days. So then he added his own example, “So like if a kid took his dad’s gun to try to shoot his mom and dad?” WHAT!?!?

I asked, as calmly as I could, what made him think of that. He said it was because DH had showed him his gun. I have not asked DH about this yet, but he does have a shotgun that he uses for hunting less than once a year. It is always securely locked and stored in a place that our DCs would not be able to get to it. I know DS has seen it, but I don’t know if he has recently.

So, I explained that guns are very dangerous, and that if a person is shot they really could die. I also told him that because they are so dangerous, he should never touch a gun, or let someone else show him a gun, except for his dad and my brother who is a police officer. We talked about what to do if another child has a gun, if he finds one at someone else’s house, or if he finds something and is not sure whether or not it is a real gun.

Did I do the right thing? What else should I have done? What on earth would make him think of this?!?! I don’t allow him to watch the TV news and I closely monitor the kids TV they watch, so I don’t think it could be that. He is a very bright, observant kid, and he often picks up on things when we don’t think he’s paying attention. But I know I would not have talked about anything like this with him around. And it’s a big jump to go from seeing/talking about dad’s gun that is ONLY used for hunting to murdering your parents!

We are obviously not totally anti-gun in our house, but I really try to discourage violence. Both boys have a Nerf dart gun, but they are not to be pointed at people, only for target practice: “See if you can get it to stick to the door knob,” etc. We’ve talked about how police officers have guns, but that their job is to protect people, and they don’t want to hurt anyone.

So, what do I do? Help!!!!

[chaoticzenmom]

It sounds like he was trying to think of something really bad that would cause a punishment like a grounding. I don't think it would be something he'd consider, but something he KNOWS would be bad. He probably has no concept of staying out late, etc. All those little things that cause someone to get grounded. That age tends to be a little black and white (as I'm sure you know) There's good and bad and both are extremes.

I think you did fine and I don't find it really worrisome, except for the mental picture and all.

[Jessy1019]

My five year old (not at all sheltered from stuff) sometimes says really wild things like that, but so do her much more sheltered friends. I think around 4-5 they start to contemplate death and dangerous activities more seriously, and come out with things that surprise us -- testing the waters a bit.

I wouldn't worry about it, and I think you did the right thing by talking about how serious guns are and how to be safe around a gun.

[mirthfulmum]

5yo say some pretty wild stuff. They're still trying to work out what is real and unreal, what could and couldn't happen. And they have no real context to process the finality of death and violence. I agree with the previous poster, I think your son was just trying to come up with the worst possible thing he could to be "punished" for.

There have been numerous times my 5yo has said something that has just made me cringe and wonder were the heck is he getting this?

[fuller2]

Remember--he's only 5. If he was 15 it might be different!

I think this is a very normal sort of thing for a kid that age to say. They know a lot more words, but they don't necessarily understand the concepts or the larger ideas associated with the words that would seem obvious to us as adults.

He is taking steps into a much more complex understanding of the world. I think the comment that he was trying to think of something that would get you grounded sounds right & very sensible.

[macca]

Originally Posted by lisa49

It sounds like he was trying to think of something really bad that would cause a punishment like a grounding. I don't think it would be something he'd consider, but something he KNOWS would be bad. He probably has no concept of staying out late, etc. All those little things that cause someone to get grounded. That age tends to be a little black and white (as I'm sure you know) There's good and bad and both are extremes.

:

Maybe I'm a little naive, but it wouldn't worry me particularly.

[mamazee]

Yeah, that's just the worst thing he could come up with that someone could do. I wouldn't worry about it. My 5-year-old has never seen a gun and could have come up with that anyway. It's hard to avoid a kid ever hearing about guns.

[boysmom2]

Oh, thank you! I feel so much better now. Aside from normal fighting with his brother and an occasional "I hate you" when he's REALLY over tired and I won't let him do something ridiculous, he's a sweet boy. But he's also my oldest, so I freak out with everything he does.

[its_our_family]

It sounds like things my T says.

You did the right things baout talking about how to handle himself if he does see a gun or seees someone else with a gun.

We have that conversation with our boys at least once a week about it. We have guns, hand guns, shot guns, WWII rifles, so to us it is a VERY big deal that they know what to do and most definetely what NOT to do.

[kimiij]

A friend of mine's 8 year old daughter once asked her if she would be mad at her if she killed someone?! Completely random but it was also completely innocent.

[MamaHen]

It seems like everyone said, the worst thing he could think of. Don't worry.

[Sheal]

I think at this age children are trying to wrap their minds around things like death, injury and dangerous situations and are just starting to grasp that if they jump down a flight of stairs it's going to hurt or jump off the couch and catch the corner of the coffee table it'll hurt. Before this age there's no fear (from my experiences anywho and what I've observed from my own kidlets).

I, like PP, think it's just your lo trying to wrap his mind around worse case senarios and trying to process the information you've given him.

Sheal

[boysmom2]

Thanks so much everybody! I have a bad habit of assuming the worst with stuff like this.